Update: Dating an older guy

pearlsandstilettos · 2021-10-01T18:55:34+00:00

This is not an advice post. It is not RPWs job to convince her to leave this guy. It is ok to give her things to consider but there will be no more judging his value.

MarchBaby21 · 2021-10-01T16:30:37+00:00

I’d urge you to deeply consider the aging process and if you are able to handle that. Have you seen aging up close before?

If you marry him, you will likely be a widow in your 50s/early 60s and your child(ren) will likely lose their father when they’re teens or in their early 20s. Your kids will never remember a time their father was not a senior citizen.

There is a good chance he will lose the ability to have penetrative sex in the next ~15 years. His drive will likely plummet in that time as well. Do you have a high libido?

When you are done the hard work of raising your children and are in your empty nester years, you will have an elderly man to care for. There will likely be significant illness to deal with.

If you think he’s worth it then go for it. But be honest with yourself about the road ahead, not just for yourself but your kids as well.

pearlsandstilettos · 2021-10-01T16:08:22+00:00

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banalchenal · 2021-10-01T21:04:31+00:00

we talk on Skype about anything and everything

.

Haven't talked about the birth defect issue yet. Also haven't talked about if I'd have to go back to work or not.

hermit_in_suburbia · 2021-10-03T06:04:33+00:00

I am a child from a relationship with the same age gap. My mum was 30 when I was born. My father had a stroke when I was young and he became difficult to live with for many reasons after that. Their relationship deteriorated significantly over the years and my mum left him before I was 10. I know at the moment you might think this guy is great and will make a great father. The reality is as your kids get older he may not be capable of fulfilling that role. I have no doubt my parents loved each other when they met. I never had a good relationship with my father and it had everything to do with his age and increasing infirmity. By the time I finished high school my dad was in a nursing home. This is the reality of having a much older father.

CountTheBees · 2021-10-03T04:57:49+00:00

LDR? You didn't mention that in your last post.

Don't put all your hopes in any LDR. Especially at the early stage. It's too easy to waste a lot of time and then stick in something unfulfilling because of the sunk-cost fallacy.

_johnfketamine · 2021-10-01T15:36:51+00:00

I’m against big age gaps 99% of the time. Gotta consider his maturity level. A lot of the time, older men go after younger women because they are more willing to put up with his shit and are easier to manipulate due to less life experience. Why did his previous marriage end? Has he dated women his own age? Why can’t he find someone his own age?

pearlsandstilettos · 2021-10-01T17:37:59+00:00

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Emotional-Scratch928 · 2021-10-01T15:25:15+00:00

These kinds of relationships are happening more and more because sometimes a woman doesn't find a man her age that matches the maturity level that she seeks. Good Luck

Teacup000 · 2021-10-01T20:38:01+00:00

I wish you happiness in your relationship, OP!

Long distance is tough. That age gap sounds tough. I would definitely make sure both of you have solid life insurance policies if you get married and have kids, as teachers don't make much and it sounds super tough for either of you to be a single parent. Little ominous but it's on my mind as my husband is looking into one now; we're young and don't have much in savings yet. My parents are fairly young and would be able to support me and the babies worst case, but it would still be a comfort.

I hope you get what you want most out of life.

Boxisteph · 2021-10-07T21:40:46+00:00

It's your life and I understand the panic of coming up to 30 with no children and no signs of mature men around your own age but I'd advise against having children with a man in his mid-50's.
Old sperm is what contributes to most congenital disabilities in babies and children and overall lower IQ. Young mothers with old fathers also have abnormally high miscarriage rates in the third trimester. Old mothers with young fathers also have problems but they're more around the ability to sustain the pregnancy, not the viability of the foetus.

If you are one of the unfortunate young women to have a child with learning or physical disabilities, most likely due to the old father remember that when dad is retired or tired generally you will pick up the pieces in terms of extra work for the family. You will care for that child more or less alone and possibly even the father at the same time.

Also consider what sort of person would rather have someone physically attractive than someone they can have a lifelong couple with. He is more than halfway through his life and men generally get unwell and die earlier than women. He knows this but is happy with this 'deal'. Would he be happy if the shoe was on the other foot? Even if you still had the beauty of a 30 year old? IF you had an illness which meant he'd have to care for you over the next 20 years of your life and provide the care of the child you two may have who was more likely to have developmental disorders? IF you can't say that he would, I really would urge you to consider whether your value to him is the way you look or who you are and if he'd really look after you and your child.

Title	Update: Dating an older guy
Author	gdobssor
Upvotes	0
Comments	30
Date	October 1, 2021 2:58 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/pz9rb8/update_dating_an_older_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/update-dating-an-older-guy.1073157 https://theredarchive.com/post/1073157

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