I did a bad thing. I looked at my boyfriend's phone because he's been paranoid recently about the idea of me cheating on him and I was concerned he was the one cheating.

Wellllll, I found a few conversations in there that worried me. Background info: he has a good male friend from college who lives out of state and about once every two or three months he goes to his friend's house or the friend comes here. I knew they get drunk and hang out but I didn't think I had anything to be worried about.

The conversations on my boyfriend's phone were full of him talking to this chick trying to get her to come over and meet his friend. She doesn't respond the way he wants so he starts talking about f*****g her and if she likes the idea of that. I don't even know what to think. We talked for a couple hours last night and he said its a leftover thing from college he and his buddy do when they get hammered. They text girls they know are promiscuous and try to get them to come over so his buddy can get some. My boyfriend told me he's never cheated on me, but I made it clear in the beginning that if he did I'm gone, like, immediately. Is he just telling me what I want to hear, does this sound like something guys do when they hang out?

I'm absolutely heartbroken, he isn't the man I fell in love with. I love him but I look at him and all I can think is him talking to these other women. We exchanged house keys a few weeks ago and everything has been going so well. Last November he commented that he was nervous for me to meet his buddy because then I might want to break up with him but I laughed it off. And every time his buddy comes over I haven't been over at the same time. I was nervous about meeting someone who's like a brother to him so I didn't push it. I met his friend a couple months ago when he came out to help bf redo his roof and he seemed alright, kind of weird but who isn't? They're both attractive and I know they were wild in college but I just can't believe he thought this was okay.

He's been cheated on in the past and is so gung-ho about the importance of honesty and commitment, it hurts so bad that he did this and has been doing this and didn't stop to think how it might make me feel if I knew their little activities. I asked him how this doesn't qualify as cheating and he said its because he didn't really want to do anything sexual with these women, he was just drunk and saying what it took to get them here so his friend could have them.

Please advise me. Is this something we can work past, anyone have any resources? Or do I need to let him go?