What’s the point?

md8716 · 2018-01-05T19:39:09+00:00

You have a 10 year age gap. When you are 30 and he's 40, he is the one who is far more likely to want to just stay home with the kid(s) and not do anything, than you are. In fact, you're the one who's much more likely to stray from the relationship because you want to "see what you missed out on" while you're still young enough to attract other young guys.

If you stay fit, take care of your skin, and maintain a healthy attitude and good habits, you'll probably look pretty good into your 40s and have a pretty soft landing into your 50s.

You're not even done maturing yet, so I'd say your biggest problem here is focusing on your behavior, not his.

SouthernAthena · 2018-01-05T22:58:10+00:00

It sounds like you may have been spending some time over at TRP. I don't advise this.

So, you've taken the Red Pill. Good for you. It's not easy, is it?

However, you're already won the game. You are happily married and pregnant. You can relax knowing you've already secured comittment from a good man. (That doesn't mean "let yourself go," it means calm down).

TRP is mostly made up of men looking to spin plates. Many of them see this as the only viable interaction with women in the current sexual marketplace. While some of them reject marriage or LTRs, many would like those things but don't think they will find a suitable partner or think that the laws are not set up in their favor. That said, even some of the most Red Pilled men are still looking for marriage.

That said, TRP is not all men, and your husband has shown a clear sign of being interested in a committed relationship--he married you!

I think the idea that men only want sex is a lie promoted by feminism to make everyone afraid of commitment. In reality, most people want close, long-term relationships! Sure, men may want to sow their wild oats when young, especially in a culture that permits premarital sex, but it is a rare man who wants to continue playing the field forever.

You have the advantage of marrying a much older man. Chances are good that he had his fun when he was young and had the opportunity to think long and hard about what he wanted in life. Which is you, and his child and future children.

I don't think you need to worry. Focus on staying a great woman, and he will continue to cherish you.

eazolan · 2018-01-06T06:26:10+00:00

As a guy, we remember.

As long as you look somewhat like the woman they fell in love with, that's what we see. And we remember all the good time we had with that young hottie.

Guywithgirlwithabike · 2018-01-05T20:28:15+00:00

I'll add another aspect here that is one of the reasons I'm appreciative of my wife u/girlwithabike - a regular poster here, and that is career advancement. I'm fairly well-positioned at a Fortune 500 company, and am already quite successful in my career. However, there is a ceiling on the level of promotion achievable by some of my peers due to their bachelorhood - contrary to popular opinion on TwoX, there are quite a few successful, educated, high-salary men in their 30's who are MGTOW, it's just they have better things to do than to troll feminists on Reddit.

I'm being groomed for a position in upper management (years sooner than I had planned, by the way), and one of the reasons why is I've been with my wife for 10 years. Family men are viewed as safer and more stable investments in the business world (obviously), and a respectable wife is just as valuable an asset as a respectable education. Besides looking stunningly gorgeous in an evening gown, my wife is educated, erudite, and a charming conversationalist - a very useful counterbalance to my disagreeable temperament. Much in the same way women find married men attractive because they've already been vetted by another woman, corporations view the quality of your spouse as a proxy for an employee's potential. If a naturally hypergamous, high-value woman is married to me (and happily so), it speaks volumes of my character.

Your youthful beauty may fade with age, but if you develop yourself into a woman of bearing, dignity, and wisdom it will reflect well on your husband no matter what path he takes in life, which will reap benefits not just for him, but for you and your children as well.

I wish you the best of luck.

LateralThinker13 · 2018-01-05T18:40:40+00:00

You did not marry him just for his looks. He treats you well and with affection, your relationship is a "dream come true".

I imagine he married you for more than your looks as well. Your looks will fade in a decade, but you - the person - will still be there. Your kindness, warmth, compassion. Your hundreds of small loving acts, your efforts to provide him with a well-raised family, your contributions to the household...

Looks help to get a partner. But they aren't why most men - or most women - stay in a relationship. They stay because they're treated well. Treat your Captain well, and you have nothing to worry about.

As to why anybody marries... in this day and age, one primary reason is to provide a safe, reliable foundation for raising children. Statistically marriage between two biological parents is better than any other combination (LTR, single, widowed, cohabiting, whatever) for the well-being and raising of children. As you're expecting (congratulations, btw) you're in a good position.

vintagegirlgame · 2018-01-05T19:01:20+00:00

Wife goggles! You married young and he's getting you in your prime so that will be imprinted on him with a special bond. As long as you take care of yourself and age gracefully he'll find you attractive on the other side of the wall. As long as you build skills as a wife and a mother he'll still value you as a woman.

The wall really hurts when a woman is blind to it and smacks into it headlong. Party lifestyle, smoking, drinking, tanning...these will make aging a painful process and if she has no understanding of how her value needs to be based on more than looks, she'll suddenly find herself worthless.

[deleted] · 2018-01-06T15:42:46+00:00

Why would anybody marry knowing the beauty is going to fade and how to keep the attraction atrong always?

Because men aren't cardboard cutouts of The Red Pill. They're people with feelings and honor and if you're good to him and he committed to you in the first place, he'll likely continue to be good to you. Stay off TRP.

Rivkariver · 2018-01-05T20:26:02+00:00

You're 10 years younger. Most men will always feel lucky to have a younger wife, even though you won't always be 23. You met still young so he will still see you as the young woman he fell for.

Good people who love us don't toss aside women as we age. It's society. If you are in the U.S. we have a cult of youth. This isn't standard everywhere, in France they think older women are sexy, but the point is the problem is not him, it's the world.

All the more reason to secure a loving husband and have your marriage be a shelter from the world.

The world is harsh to everybody, people who love us are not.

The best way to age gracefully is to act your age. Accept certain things and behave more maturely and you will always have the he be sais quoi.

RubyWooToo · 2018-01-06T12:38:33+00:00

Has your husband given you any indication that he’s the kind of man who doesn’t respect his marriage vows, is concerned only with looks, or is otherwise not invested in the relationship? Why did he make such a big commitment as marriage in the first place?

If he’s given you no reason to be insecure, it’s unfair to judge your husband’s motives and future actions based on the opinions of anonymous strangers on the Internet, especially from a subreddit consisting of much younger men who are mostly unmarried and are mostly interested in sex rather than committed relationships.

Bria89 · 2018-01-06T14:57:03+00:00

This is a good post. Lots of great comments.

BewareTheOldMan · 2018-01-07T21:04:11+00:00

I do my best for him and him for me...

You answered your question with your own statement. Keep doing everything possible to earn the respected position of wife and mother every day and you will have much less worry than if you simply stop doing all those things that gave him interest in the first place. He's not just attracted to your beauty.

Most men don't get married only to divorce or trade in their wife for other women. The key is to build value and keep being the greatest wife ever - great wives and mothers are irreplaceable.

SmamelessMe · 2018-01-08T08:34:13+00:00

Not all men are like that. Most of us are more than happy to find one amazing woman. You underestimate the amount of effort it takes a man to find one. Ain't nobody got time to do it twice.

There is a statistic floating around that 80% of all divorces are initiated by women. Don't know its source, or how accurate it is, so take it for what it's worth. But it does suggest -- if it gives you any comfort -- it will be you who leaves him for a "younger model", when he's 40, and likes to stay home on Sundays to work on his truck, and drink beer while playing video games with his children, while you're "in your prime" and wanting to go out, meet new people and socialize.

The minority of men who do divorce are either bad people, plain and simple, or the marriage was not working out. I will provide no comment on what I think is the ratio of these, but having a look at the number of people in /r/deadbedrooms, and the fact there is no /r/lookatmynewermodel might give you some anecdotal evidence about what is the ratio of these men.

If anything, he should be afraid that you're gonna divorce him when he turns 40, take half his money, prevent him from seeing your children, and suck away 40% of his paycheck for next 10 years, so that you can "enjoy your life while you're still young".

These are of course ridiculous straw man examples I made to illustrate a point: Both men and women face risks when committing to LTR and marriage. You can only mitigate those risks, by trying to know the person you are about to bind your life to, but you can never eliminate them fully.

In the ideal world you would resolve any doubts before you have married your partner. That being said, there is no time like now to think really hard about what kind of person are they. Do their actions or behavior give you any reasons to doubt their intentions? If so, don't put your head in the sand and start taking steps to protect yourself and well-being of your children.

However, if they do not give you any valid reasons to doubt their commitment, perhaps your fear is unfounded. Fear of losing your partner is perfectly healthy -- it means you are a human, welcome to the club -- but you should make sure you accept the fear, and not let it overtake you. If it grows too large for no reason, ironically, it may be what tanks your marriage.

Disclaimer: I'm single, never married, trying to get over the same idea that benefits of trusting another person outweigh the risk.

Chelseaqix · 2018-01-09T02:41:21+00:00

If you’re worried that all he likes you for is your appearance than you probably shouldn’t have had a kid with him.

TakeEverything · 2018-01-11T01:06:55+00:00

Your understanding of RP is mistaken.

It doesn't sound like you have anything to worry about.

Title	What’s the point?
Author	Cestmoiyasmin01
Upvotes	33
Comments	24
Date	January 5, 2018 6:07 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/7od06m/whats_the_point/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/whats-the-point.2744 https://theredarchive.com/post/2744

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