I'm pretty selective about who I sleep with. I slept only with my ex after we'd been together for 3 months. I knew that he loved me and he wouldn't leave me. He gave me a lot of attention but was also needy. He didn't have much ambition or much going on in his life.

I've started dating again and for the first time dating older men (I'm 22, I date around 25-28). They tend to be more ambitious, have their life more figured out and won't be as needy towards women (I myself am pretty stable in my life so I don't think I punch above my weight). However, there are some things I wonder about.

This particular guy, we hit it off right away. We had a lot of chemistry and we are similar in many ways. We've gone on 4 dates and he has opened up to me about his family, his personal life, the things he struggles with, etc (not to the point of over-sharing, just enough). Yet, I still felt like in-between dates he was too distant. He does have a lot going on and he did say he likes space, but it just made me feel like he wasn't that interested. Since I didn't feel like he was at the emotional hookpoint, I didn't sleep with him. He told me how crazy it is that we're so similar, how he enjoys talking with me because we have deep conversations, etc. He seems really interested judging by what he says but I try to judge actions more than words.

After our last date, he's been making less efforts to talk to me or see me. This guy is really attractive and charismatic. He's cultivated and has a good career. I know that he'd have no trouble finding casual sex if that's what he wanted. He told me that wasn't what he was looking for (I told him on our 2nd date I only have sex when I'm committed to someone and he respected that).

He told me in a different conversation how sex was important to him. It's a way to connect with another person like no other, to be vulnerable with that person, etc. He made it seem like he won't get too involved with someone unless there's sex first.

I have heard of this often. Well-established men who want sex by the first 3-4 dates max, otherwise they move on to someone else (they have lots of options, so they wouldn't put up with this). I'm wondering if this is a real thing. If in some cases it's better to have sex faster rather than wait?

So basically, is it possible for certain men to become more interested and more emotionally involved once sex has been had, or is this all manipulation from these same men just trying to sleep with you?