Dumped. Need some short advice.

npdthrow · 2023-11-22T22:31:38+00:00

Lots of issues here. I won't dig into you too hard here, but take a step back.

When the relationship ends, especially when not under your terms, the first thing you do is withdraw all of the beta shit that you provided her throughout it. All the reassuring actions and words, the 'trying to make it work', the grand displays of emotion.

Internally, you need to go from 'loving boyfriend who just got dumped' to 'single man playing his options' in the blink of an eye.

Instead of pleading you should've told her you had no clue she was this upset (make her anticipate your beta coddling) but fair enough (the rug pull), gave her a date and time to pick up her shit, and moved the fuck on. All with the stern grace of a disappointed father.

The "friends" proposition was her emotional parachute from your dick to the next. It would be the good ending if you successfully turned her into an alpha widow. But judging by everything in this post, you didn't. Pleading and crying? Yeesh. If you even had a chance to stick the landing, you set whatever was left of the operation on fire.

The harsh truth: she initially figured she'd have to keep you around as a 'friend' to leech off your reassuring beta energy for a couple months while she gets readjusted to life as a single woman. She thought she'd have to fuck you for a little while longer to get that. But no, you've been blasting her with it so hard and for free lately that she's more than good just off the fumes.

Fatal error, my friend. The respect for the man you are/your frame likely doesn't exist anymore.

The 'island in the kitchen' thing is the last rev of her engine at you in the IDGAF street race. "Look at me, unbothered and taking on fun hard work without your help." Good on you for not responding, because she's done talking. From this point forward her goal is to shit all over your very existence.

You're down a couple points. If you really want to get back at her, take a couple months in monk mode, come out with a better body, better game, better style, and fuck on one of her friends.

If you ever see her again, don't cower and act all beta. Treat her politely like a brand new prospect, but a low priority one. Stand tall, smile politely, flirt but don't pursue. Don't get deep and bring up anything that implies you remember her as your dear ex-girlfriend, keep it surface level and brief.

If she's moved by your change of energy and bites, tada, you have a really shitty, unpredictable, emotionally charged plate.

So yeah, I say fully move on unless your ego insists that you plate her as revenge for making you cry. But considering how low you've stooped to get where you are now, that lemon doesn't seem worth the squeeze.

Bboytunero · 2023-11-22T21:32:12+00:00

This sub has truly gone to shit… cut contact with her and don’t forget to read the sidebar.. go monk mode (lift, eat right and be productive) cos you still sound blue-pilled asf you probably did ltr and got too comfortable that’s why she dumped your sorry ass

toobadnosad · 2023-11-22T21:11:56+00:00

Do you like eating from dumpsters?

Cut contact, lift, fuck ten other women then reassess if you still give a shit.

rosesmellikepoopoo · 2023-11-22T21:31:24+00:00

She’s feeding you bait to see if you’ll still bite.

Move on, never text her again, watch her text you in a year about how much she misses you and thinks about you.

Carry on ignoring her.

Never go back.

AwakenTheSavage · 2023-11-22T21:22:23+00:00

She dumped you but doesn’t want to feel guilty about it and doesn’t want to seem like the bad guy, so she suggested you two can stay friends so she doesn’t feel bad about herself for dumping you.

Do you want her back? Do you want to just be friends? No? Then cut her off and tell her that you can’t be just friends after what you’ve shared. Leave the door open in case she changes her mind, but start reflecting on what might have caused her to dump you, then never do it again. Lift, go fuck ten other women, etc.

mister_k1 · 2023-11-22T21:35:12+00:00

needs to focus on herself ...

she is riding that cock carousel buddy and everybody knows it.

to be up front i cried once, didn't ask her to take me back tho, but she never looked at me the same since then, there's something that goes off in a woman brain when a man cries in front of her and sadly there's no going back from that. move on and have options, that's the only way to not suffer immensely from break ups

TRPSenpai · 2023-11-22T23:47:57+00:00

I just got dumped a few weeks ago. I was in LTR of three years, she told me she wasn't feeling it. I was caught off guard, but asked her if she as sure... and if she didn't want a week to think it over, she said "Yes, I am sure."

I was over her house, I immediately removed all my things. Wordlessly, and emotional-lessly carried all my stuff to my car.
Cut off all contact, blocked her on social media, removed her from friends chat groups. Since we dated so long, she had access to my friend groups.
Waited 1 week, gather every single item belonging to her from my Condo, put it in one box and had it shipped directly to her house.
Accepted it was over, and downloaded all my dating apps again.

There is literally no point in being friends my bud. You can't uncry your tears in front of her, but next time you should be more stoic. Your unnecessary loss of frame in front of her killed any chance of getting back together, and really any respect/attraction she might have had for you.

When you are dumped, *YOU* have to control how things end on *YOUR* terms. The fact that you still communicate with her actually helps her get over you. You being friends with her on *HER* terms, is how she absolves herself of any guilt or feelings for you.

I highly suggest before jumping into another relationship, you read the sidebar material of learned men here. There is wisdom to be found in the history here.

hydro908 · 2023-11-22T22:11:35+00:00

She entertaining other men , move on and be cold towards her or no contact

pbar · 2023-11-22T23:30:23+00:00

I just read the first paragraph and my reaction is, make it stop.

She is jerking you around, and I promise you, she's enjoying it.

You need to learn the word, "No". It is one of the best words

Any time you aren't quite sure what to say, just say, "No."

"Maybe we can still be friends after awhile if I decide I want to after getting stuffed by Tyrone."

"No."

See how easy, and even fun, that is?

Fire_Stoic14 · 2023-11-22T22:37:28+00:00

She dumped you, your response is you shouldn’t take her back. There’s plenty more my friend. Plus you can use that free time for self improvement endeavors

ferbje · 2023-11-22T21:20:15+00:00

Women are not rational. They just do things that make no sense to a man’s mind. You don’t need to try and figure out reasons or what this could all possibly mean. One time a girl dumped me and a few weeks later was feeling horny so she decided to send me some pictures, i guess because i was the safe option. It didn’t make logical sense, she just dumped me. But i don’t try to understand why. Just play along and flirt and act like your life is fine with or without her, or just don’t respond. Whatever you do, at least take control of the situation like a man should instead of letting her dominate and bother you so much. Flirt with her and take your time, prove she’s missing out, or just cut her off and move on.

You truly have to not care how this ends up in order for anything to work. You’ll be fine either way, know that

rednoids · 2023-11-22T21:14:27+00:00

Why let a woman control you? Move on yesterday.

Billy405 · 2023-11-22T23:02:03+00:00

Move on.
Our human instinct has evolved over millions of years to keep us safe... listen to it.

Smithy975 · 2023-11-24T01:15:05+00:00

4 sets of Incline Dumbbell Press, 8-10 reps 3 sets of Bench Press, 8-10 reps 3 sets of Incline Flies, 8-10 reps 3 sets of Chest Dips until failure 3 sets of Barbell Curls, 8-10 reps 3 sets of Preacher Curls, 8-10 reps, then drop the weight to half, and push out another 8 Tuesday: Legs/Calves

4 sets of Squats 8-10 reps 3 sets of Lunges 8-10 reps 3 sets of Leg Press 8-10 reps 3 sets of Leg Extensions till failure 3 sets of Leg Curls 8-10 reps Calves are self explanatory, just use some of the machines till failure, a lot of reps, feel the burn.

Wednesday: Back

3 sets of Lat Pulldowns 8-10 reps 4 sets of Deadlifts 8-10 reps 3 sets of Bent Over Rows 8-10 reps 3 sets of Dumbell Rows 8-10 reps 3 sets of Hyperextensions 8-10 reps Thursday: Shoulders/Triceps

4 sets of Shoulder Press, alternate with Barbell & Dumbell every week 8-10 reps 3 sets of Upright Rows supersetted with Lateral Raises 8-10 reps 3 sets of front raises 8-10 reps 3 sets of Lying Rear Delt Raises 8-10 reps 3 sets of Close-Grip Bench Press 8-10 reps 4 sets of Pulldowns 8-10 reps 3 sets of Skullcrushers 8-10 reps Saturday: Full Body

3 sets of Deadlifts 8-10 reps 3 sets of Squats 8-10 reps 3 sets of Clean and Jerk 8-10 reps 3 sets of Weighted Pull ups 8-10 reps

raging_pastafarian · 2023-11-22T22:58:08+00:00

She's downgraded to plate status. Give her a half-hearted zero-effort spin if you'd still bang. Text her back and say "hope the kitchen island went well". That's it. Keep it THAT short, don't ask questions, don't ask how she's doing, don't talk about you or her or anything else.

And as others have said, stuff your feels bro, and get back out there. Go lift, and fuck some other girls. Line up the abundance and see just how much greener the grass is. You'll probably discover that you're happier.

Pelon01 · 2023-11-23T00:24:14+00:00

Bro, as much as it hurts, a golden rule is if she doesn’t want you, you move on. You can’t make someone like you and if you were to convince her to give you another shot, it would likely eventually end the same way anyhow.

If she wants to leave you show her the door. There is no other way.

thetonybvd · 2023-11-23T10:08:21+00:00

A lot of things to analyse, but :

She said she would be down to hang out as friends in 1 week.

The week goes by and she calls me the day before we were going to hang out to say she is going on hiatus from talking to me or any of her friends for 2 weeks because she "needs to focus on herself and be stress-free" and assured me it had nothing to do with me

Bullshit. It was an another guy she wants to fuck with, just used an argument as a breakup, still wants to use you.

she can let me know if she needs anything.

Bruh. The 1st response to that is no response at all, you should have stopped to respond after that. Wtf bro

Anyways, she wanted to hookup with a better guy than you while keeping you as a backup option in case it doesn't works with the other guy.

My prescription is : You should learn holding a confident frame, being calm and cold, stoïc and not begging/crying like a bitch. Now it's time to monk mode.

Ghost her, ignore her forever, you shouldn't respond to her even she tries to come back. Don't block her however, show her you don't care, you have moved on, and you aren't pissed off by her anymore. Just delete her number.

Start to glow up. Hit the gym, do your cardio, dress better, haircut, beard, sleep, diet, side hustles and most importantly : Date other women asap. But stop that blue pill mindset.

It's taboo in the redpill community but : Learn how to fuck better with women. Be the best fuck ever lived for women.

And if you have the opportunity, hookup with her female friends

MrBowick · 2023-11-22T23:47:59+00:00

Lmao you got a long journey dawgy.. best thing to do is never ever hit her up again, you will fall back into the old ways if you do. Just embrace the heart ache. Growth is painful like in the gym, ego growth sucks balls. Start by lifting and then going out and talking to as many woman as possible. Trial by fire is really the only way. You can read all you want but learning is doing

BlocknGhost · 2023-11-22T23:49:13+00:00

The question you’re asking is RP 101. Ghost her entirely for eternity, improve your professional skills, hit the gym, improve your diet, dress better, go out and socialize with other people, date other women.

People who respect themselves don’t let exes yank them around.

Leonhart93 · 2023-11-23T00:37:24+00:00

She has other guys but is unsure whether they would work out or not, so she keeps you on the back burner. DO NOT take her back.

And never cry or beg in front of her, ever. Her pussy probably dried down at that moment.

English26 · 2023-11-23T06:39:03+00:00

Bro, based on your story she very likely has been seeing another dude imo. Uses a dumb excuse to break up, instantly cuts off all ties, says she needs a hiatus and then suddenly she's fully happy.

Sounds to me like she shoot her shot with another bloke and it landed.

Sendmeloveletters · 2023-11-24T15:11:54+00:00

It’s over forever. Once you cry in front of her and beg, she will never see you as a man again. Once a woman loses respect for you it’s gone forever. You showed her she’s above you in your mind and at your core and that is disgusting to her. Imagine how you would feel if a guy begged you to suck your dick for crack money. He’s so desperate for the emotional state he wants and so out of control over his own feelings that you can see he’s a total mess and completely unstable.

You gotta just go no contact and get over her and work on yourself before you’re ready for a woman. Don’t ever let this happen to you again.

ThrowawayYAYAY2002 · 2023-11-24T21:37:13+00:00

The old "I need to focus on myself".

The moment they come out with that they might as well say the truth. That truth, and it's always this, is that there's another man in the picture. Sorry to break that to you. I had the same thing said to me. Guess what I found out? She was fucking another man.

The island? Possibly a chance for you to see her, sounds like she was saying that. But then again it could be something else.

Friend, cut that fucker loose now. She's dead to you. And I'll tell you something else - she's been finished with you for ages, and most likely cheated.

Delete her number, lift, meet other women. No second chances.

El0vution · 2023-11-23T01:55:28+00:00

There’s no answer here that will help you more than reading the sidebar. So get with it.

papo4ever · 2023-11-23T23:19:42+00:00

You absolutely don't know how evil women can be. Women often do the 'breakup' and then call all friendly. BTW they often call after they had sex with another guy, the idea of them calling an ex while having cum from another man inside turns them on, it's disgusting but I saw it happen.

She's playing with you, keeping you in the backburner in case things are not so good with the new guy (remember there is always a new guy).

phantypanty · 2023-11-24T10:02:45+00:00

Ghost her & block her, shes been banging other people this whole time & has dumped you but is still using you cause she knows she can. She knows your weakness is her she aint gonna talk to you but still use you as a emotional tampon while shes got other mens salami in all her holes(she wont mention that though probably or maybe she will to make you even more pliable). How can it possibly make sense she can essentially throw you away but still casually message you about dumb gf shit, snes taking you for a mug cause she thinks shes above you & can get you back anytime. Saying she F'ed up the order of things you are literally in her frame. Go do your own stuff get a new girl or a proffessional if you have to. Pretty sure everyone else here are saying the same or similar. Know your worth man, and increase it if needed she should of been the one crying for you.

townboyj · 2023-11-23T00:52:01+00:00

On to the next! Don’t try to rationalize humans, and don’t wait for them either

Lake_Silent · 2023-11-23T02:56:47+00:00

She's banging someone else and the only reason she's texting you still is so she can convince herself she's not the bad guy in for dumping you, a certified nice guy. STFU and get in the squat rack.

sauceyzaddy · 2023-11-22T23:49:46+00:00

Bro at the end of the day you broke up. Move on.

ApeMindFitness · 2023-11-23T01:19:26+00:00

She’s fucking someone else.

EnigmaScientist · 2023-11-23T00:17:59+00:00

If its over its over. Also for the record, crying in front of a parter you’re serious with isn’t bad. It can help create a closer connection. Begging for them back is lame. Just let it be and you’ll meet someone new. Thats what she’s up to right now.

pm-for-fun · 2023-11-23T03:38:10+00:00

To even post this shows you have no game.

0L_Gunner · 2023-11-27T22:58:11+00:00

Step 1: Get some other Bitches Step 2: Repost when you’ve done Step 1 and reacquired your balls

pepo930 · 2023-11-23T09:28:57+00:00

Here's my not so redpill opinion on this and more of a common sense one:
She's not sure of the relationship and texted you like that to see if things would feel the same as before. (They probably don't and it's all downhill from here). She's also taking a break from things and just wants to chill, it's not mandatory that she's doing anything with someone else. No one likes breakups so this friendship thing is more of an emotional cushion (it doesn't always work for both parties tho).

But in the end it comes down to what YOU want. Your relationship is probably over but you can try fixing it. It'll take a lot of time and energy and she'll most probably hold things against you. You two should sit down together and talk it through, what's everyone's needs and wants and how you see things going forward. Be OK with the idea that things won't go forward and break up on somewhat good terms. You'll be free to do whatever you want after that without holding as much emotional baggage from the relationship.

WRPrichter · 2023-11-25T14:20:33+00:00

Move on. Do not answer her calls. Do not respond to texts. Do not block her on social media. Go out and live your best life and let her watch you.

Gurisito · 2023-11-27T16:01:07+00:00

Go fuck 10 other women. If you cant, it means you have work to do. Lift, work in yourself.

Sympraxis · 2023-12-01T03:41:34+00:00

You need to step back, read some PUA books, date some different women and get some fresh experience. This situation with this girl is so totally effed up that you are a long way from having the skill set to fix it.

thop89 · 2023-12-18T22:40:21+00:00

Block and forget. Problem solved.

Sasssqwach · 2023-12-21T10:29:48+00:00

mate, it's over. she pushed you to the friend zone to be polite. that's what women do when you haven't done anything wrong, but they just don't like you that much.

it would have been rude and disrespectful to stay with you because she feels sorry for you.

she wants nothing from you.

small talk is probably making sure you're OK (after all that crying and shit) without letting you back in to boyfriend zone.

don't make it harder on yourself by hanging out thinking something will change. just be polite and move on.

if you all keep playing these weird alpha male games, then all the women will eventually be messed up, and then jobs as 'males' will become extinct

Title	Dumped. Need some short advice.
Author	danlucas
Upvotes	54
Comments	80
Date	November 22, 2023 9:00 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/181jklk/dumped_need_some_short_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/dumped-need-some-short-advice.1239112 https://theredarchive.com/post/1239112

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