How does an alpha command respect from other men?

zpatriarchy · 2014-12-05T15:01:35+00:00

He's insecure, and he'll get angry like a little girl if you say anything back.

Whatever you do, give no indication that it bothers you. If that's difficult, tell yourself something on the inside like "I'm the greatest". Your face will leak that, and you'll save face.

He's trying to establish dominance, so you can take it back from him with a "I thought you were a bottom", "don't you have ED?", etc.

Be ready for violence. Someone secure will find no need for this type of nonsense, but someone insecure who's clearly lost verbally may try to take back dominance physically.

IceColdTang · 2014-12-05T16:26:34+00:00

Watch the National Geographic's Going Ape: The Alpha Male episode. It's available for free on YouTube.

This will give you an idea of how social dynamics go as far as submitting to an alpha male or having betas submit to you simply by demonstrating certain qualities/attributes.

[deleted] · 2014-12-06T00:28:30+00:00

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robotghow · 2014-12-05T15:06:37+00:00

Some guys act juvenile because they're used to getting away with it. The trouble is that by the time they're adults, if you shame them publicly they will resent you for it. I would take an opportunity when I'm alone with the guy and start ribbing him and dominating him, to the point of being insulting but still friendly. If he's smart, he will be more careful around you from then on.

bbidabbong · 2014-12-05T21:06:58+00:00

I guess that where I am coming from we are just different. Guys here gave you peaceful advices. When other guy say to me fuck you just like that, I will confront him immediately. Like, stop the conversation, face him, and ask him what is the problem. If he wants to fight he is going to get it.

Of course, guy always should respond appropriately to disrespect. If he teased you a bit more lightly, you would respond in intelligent manner using your wit.

But coming out with fuck you like that and he is asking for a fucking knockout.

frequentlywrong · 2014-12-05T15:59:21+00:00

Mock him and his childishness (while having an unemotional straight face). Does his behavior come off as cool in your circle? I'm completely unable to picture a scenario where this comes off as anything other than stupid. Can you provide an example?

An alpha response is always unphased confidence. You don't give a fuck and when assaulted with a challenge such as that, mockery is the best answer.

brotherjustincrowe · 2014-12-06T02:30:12+00:00

Same way you deal with any shit test: amused mastery, outcome independence, hold frame. Smile (like you're laughing at him not with him) and tell him how cute he is when he flirts or something like that to break his frame, which seems pretty fragile. The more you out him as a petulant child the more people will see him that way.

And "lol" isn't punctuation.

GayLubeOil · 2014-12-05T19:04:46+00:00

Next time he says fuck you, agree and amplify and ask him where he wants to have gay sex. You keep talking about it and you got me all excited. I want to run my fingers through your silky hair as you stroke my hard cock with your tongue. When he flips the fuck out call him a tease. Now he is the butt of the joke.

TimPartendale · 2014-12-05T17:21:10+00:00

What's with all these /r/askTRP posts popping up in the main sub.. let alone, there's now a friday discussion board. These questions aren't deep enough to warrant it's own post here.

xcallide · 2014-12-05T15:37:00+00:00

Forget "alpha"; this is in the realm of being a respectable person, man or woman.

You say he acts like a kid, and it looks like he does. Take his insults like its a child's insults. Imagine that a child said that to you, and act accordingly. Being respectable is less about what canned response you can muster up during the moment, and more about the mindset that you approach these things. Only then will the "desired response" to these moments naturally and genuinely form.

robertpaulsontitties · 2014-12-05T17:08:02+00:00

I can't really tell from the OP how severe this is and what the guys actual deal is. A lot of guys will trash talk each other for fun but on the other hand this guy might be really out to tear you down for his own social benefit. The guy might be trying to be friends with you but you will need to figure that our yourself. I will just assume that this is at the worse end of the spectrum.

Be observant. Take note of what you know about him and his interpersonal tactics and see if any insights emerge over time. Does he have any vulnerabilities? How does he interact with others besides yourself? Do the times when he says "fuck you", etc share anything in common, especially as far as what you're doing?
Don't let yourself become emotional. This is one of those pieces of advice that is way easier said than done but regardless you will have to find a way to exert control over your emotions. If you become angry he has already won, as it will color your thinking, how you respond, body language and it will be quite plain to him and any 3rd party spectators. Projecting anger only reveals hurt and therefore vulnerability.
Comebacks are really tricky since you're being ambushed out of the blue and have only moments to deliver a clear headed response. It isn't practical to be on alert at all times, just be mentally aware that these surprises trickle in periodically over time and your own emotional response when they occur (see #2). If all his insults follow a basic formula or theme, perhaps you could cook up some canned responses. I dunno I might be overthinking this, maybe a casually delivered "eat a dick" is all that is needed here. But generally speaking, a sizable portion of bullies are too versatile to be held in check by canned lines. This is really a skill set that you will have to develop over time.
Go on offense. Don't have any moral qualms about striking first out of the blue. Some guys will construct some brittle and impractical Hollywood moral code where they will only reciprocate with clear justification. This is a totally losing strategy and these guys seriously need to relax, thinking they're Captain Picard or something. Look for opportunities to humiliate him in front of others. The most important thing is that it has to be funny to an audience. Nothing is too vicious as long as its funny. This is where #1 is going to help you. It is important that you appear happy and carefree while you do it, as projecting anger only reveals hurt and therefore vulnerability (see #2 again). You catch him doing or saying something dumb, lay down a sick burn. This could be something as simple as doing an impression of him. Is he short? Is he fat? Does he dress poorly? Feel free to use anything about him that is less than flattering and work that into your comedy routine. Like everything else on this list, thinking up ways to insult people is a skill that needs to be developed over time.
Make peace with the fact that occasionally dealing with people like this isn't limited to childhood or even college but is a permanent feature of life at any age.

MyNewAccount9 · 2014-12-05T19:01:43+00:00

Maybe he thinks you're uptight and he's trying to fuck with you a little bit.

Guys sometimes say fuck you to each other. I flip off my buddies all the fucking time and they do it back and it's how we say hi. I'd be worried if i didn't see a middle finger every once in a while.

Dont be a pussy and ignore it. Either:

a) Escalate Playfully. Dont take this shit as a threat. Embrace this stupid shit and have fun with it. He's not "disrespecting you". He's not overpowering you. He's flipping you off. So play the fucking game. Flip him off. Send him a snapchat of you flipping him off. Flip him off at random times when you get bored, and like, get his attention so he sees you sitting there, enjoying your beer, flipping him off. This is childish, juvenile behavior. If you think you're above it, then you're missing out on some fun shit. when you go to his house, draw a middle finger on his bathroom mirror with shaving cream. draw middle fingers in a bar napkin and slide them over to him like you're handing him the launch code. The point: CHILL OUT AND HAVE FUN WITH THIS SHIT. DONT WORRY ABOUT COMMANDING RESPECT, FUCKING HAVE FUN WITH A DUDE THAT'S CHILL ENOUGH TO TOSS OUT A RANDOM "FUCK YOU" EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE.

b) If you must take this as some kind of disrespect, then fucking confront him back. Make fun of something you know he feels insecure about. Say something kind of fucked up to him. If you feel it's a bullying dynamic, then that means he feels like you're a pussy and he can put you down. So: make it uncomfortable for him to do this and he'll focus on someone else. But don't reason with him, dont argue with him, dont act like a pussy. Take it as a direct insult and directly insult something he feels insecure about. Make fun of his whatever. Tell him his teeth look crooked and that's why he only bangs wierd chicks. I dont know. Just put him down and dont be nice or fair or gentle about it. And then call him a "little bitch." He'll probably have a little tantrum. Which you just ignore. then he'll get over it and act normal around you. and you never bring it up again.

c) if you're physically stronger than him, then do something that's playful but also kind of aggressive. Like: Put him in a headlock, but like, keep him there a little too long. Or punch him in the arm, but just a little too hard. Like you're buds, but just a little more force than that. Thats another way you can project a little dominance.

I have no fucking clue why people are telling you to ignore this. Obviously that doesn't work. I also have no clue why you say you dont care. Obviously you do or you wouldn't be posting here.

Wolf_A · 2014-12-05T14:57:41+00:00

You should first show that you value yourself very high. In other words be cocky when you need to be. In regular discussions if he says some bullshit just call him out so he knows that you just don't go along with anything. Also appreciate when he says something good. You will gain more respect when you stick to your guns while being reasonable. Don't go out of your way to do him any favors or help him out. Make him earn them. Back yourself up on how he deserved to be treated by belittling you. For the time being dismiss his comments by not giving them worth like "Geez dude, you know we aren't in middle school anymore. Stop being a kid/dick".

Assert your value in the form of money, effort and importantly time and that they are not up for grabs. Make him realize that you are not to fuck with by applying power talk. This will have to be achieved gradually. Anything of this sort takes persistence. I suggest you read discussions on powertalk from the side bar. And yes, LIFT. If you are being cocky you should also have some mass on you to throw behind it.

A_Laf · 2014-12-05T15:41:21+00:00

An alpha wouldn't command respect. He just wouldn't tolerate disrespect.If he's a friend of yours it's probably his attempt at joking around even though it's annoying.

"You're adorable", "Don't flatter yourself", "Love you too", "Buy me a drink first" all work. You're showing his childish behavior doesn't bother you and you're spinning some humor into it and taking away the effect.

If it's to the point where he's being a prick and not just joking around...why do you hang out with him?

Hokuto199x · 2014-12-05T16:16:28+00:00

The word you were looking for was "flips" - he flips you off, as in flipping you the bird or giving you the middle finger. In any case, I laugh at people like this. I have always laughed out loud at people posturing. It totally breaks their frame and shows they have no negative effect on yours.

dickinlips · 2014-12-05T16:43:45+00:00

Nah, I'm straight, [unphazed]

[deleted] · 2014-12-05T17:18:48+00:00

Make fun of his childish bullshit and be nonphased. If you can get him mad while maintaining your own calm he looks like the fool. Keep doing it and he'll learn eventually not to fuck with you.

[deleted] · 2014-12-05T17:27:25+00:00

Through fear. I think you should go the "yea whatever" route with this guy, then get away from him. If he keeps pushing, you're gonna have to fight him. If he's tall to the point you can't win, you're gonna have to blindside him or someone he cares about.

You get the idea.

soulmatter · 2014-12-05T17:50:52+00:00

Don't look for approval from other men when you interact with them. In this case, you don't need to acknowledge him. The next time he does it, quickly change the subject or continue off where the conversation was. Like you're "above" his level of discourse.

JooGhitSew · 2014-12-05T17:55:49+00:00

Elliot has the answer you're looking for if it truely bothers you. Laugh it off, or do this

[deleted] · 2014-12-05T18:38:22+00:00

A so-called alpha never have to deal with such situations. He acts in such a way by which these kind of situations never occur to him.

A so-called alpha never command respect. He acts in such a way by which people will naturally want to respect him.

[deleted] · 2014-12-05T19:58:47+00:00

An alpha does not "command" respect. An alpha does not seek for anyone to follow him. An Alpha will behave as he believes he should, and others will admire that and follow.

In this case, like other posters have said just ignore it. I would not respond at all. If he does it look at him with a blank stare for just a second but continue doing whatever it is you're doing with your day. Not worth your energy.

Never put blatant energy and effort into getting people to follow you.

forbinsdecline · 2014-12-06T00:26:49+00:00

If you feel the need to do anything in front of others, just call him out and let him know he's acting like a child. But really, it sounds like he's doing a good job of making himself look like an ass on his own.

Seuguh · 2014-12-11T00:36:26+00:00

Dude, just stop hanging out with the bozo. There are millions of possible good friends out there, don't let this cat kill your vibe. Have some self respect.

The way I see it, if the people in your circle don't constantly lift you up or push for better, then they're bringing you down or stopping you from soaring. You only get one life, and it's way too short to be measuring dicks with other dudes.

themoor · 2014-12-05T15:31:43+00:00

Next time he flips you off:

"No, AMOG, how many times to I have to tell you I'm not sitting on your finger??"

growsomegarlic · 2014-12-05T15:53:07+00:00

"Buy me a few beers and we'll see."

AchillesOtherLeg · 2014-12-05T19:51:01+00:00

Respect is a ninja...

It creeps up on you.

You will be the last person to realise that you have become respected. People will start to use your opinion as the last word in disputes or you will be sought out in times of crisis because no one is quite sure what the best way to proceed is. Your presence will have a calming effect on jittery people. You will be described as solid, everyone knows where you are and people will make plans for when you're not there.

You don't so much take respect all at once as accumulate it naturally as a by-product of your daily routine. It's like a prayer wheel, slowly grinding out microscopic additions to your aura. That sounds a little magical but you get the idea.

Basically respect is like good health or a sharp skill, it is practised and maintained over a long period. People will often talk about frame without consideration of context. You have to cultivate your context. How can you expect to be somebody important if you're not important in a given setting?

Anyway with that said you're not talking about respect you're asking how to deal with rudeness. My response is "directly".

Einen777 · 2014-12-06T01:31:50+00:00

My advice would be to laugh in his face. Treat it as an in joke. If he tries to take it further then laugh more and belittle him.

[deleted] · 2014-12-05T17:54:58+00:00

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tombreck2 · 2014-12-05T14:57:26+00:00

You can ignore it or do some AMOG:

You: There aren't a lot of mirrors in your house are there

You: You don't get out much do you

You: I see they decided to leave in your feeding tube

TheSliceman · 2014-12-05T19:29:05+00:00

The second he does that, stop everything. Completely halt the converstation, turn toward him so your shoulders are squared up to him. Look him directly in the eye and say "What did you just say?", "Did you just flip me off?".

He will try and ignore and change the subject and pretend like thats not happening.

Hold your ground. Get right in front of him, shoulders squared, holding eye contact. Insist he answer you. "Did you really just say fuck me? Why would you say that?" Question him until you get an answer.

At this point he will be try his hardest to defuse. Hold frame, game face, and let him know "You will not be doing that again. Am I clear?"

Then go back to the normal conversation. The other people there will be like 0_0 . You turn back to them and apologize on your friends behalf. "Sorry, my friend is still learning how to behave properly. Where were we? Oh ya, your new car I love it!". And pretend like nothing happened.

Your friend will feel embarrassed, dominated, and stupid. Any girls in the conversation will be like sploosh.

Im telling you, my friend, this is the most alpha response one can have.

the99percent1 · 2014-12-05T15:09:05+00:00

This is a stupid question... respect is rarely commanded, it is earned...

Respect is a by-product of leadership. Leadership is you exerting influence on others who willingly or by force, do things that you want. You cannot command respect..

Learn how to be an effective leader, exert influence and only then can you proclaim people respect you.

Ghost_Ghoul_Guy · 2014-12-05T16:31:25+00:00

Address the group of people first

When he flicks you off just look at him impassively with a straight face, then look at and address the group with a joking-insult, something like, "Does anyone else think this is border-line retarded behavior?". If you can get a few laughs or smirks out of the crowd the guy will get embarrassed.

Turn back to the guy and say something like, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that, I know this is you at your best". If you can burn him in front of people he might just shut up in humiliation, everyone will know what happened and that's the whole show.

If you can keep your responses calm and jokingly insult him (aim for the poise, lines and delivery of a comedian addressing a heckler) then you cut the legs off of any response of his like, "dude, I was just joking" because you never actually got mad. Plus, this type of response works well for a crowd.

He might try and make something more out of the situation, if he does, don't break character and just keep ragging on him in the same way. If he starts something violent, immediately take him down and defend yourself.

If all of that seems too much of an interaction and confrontation for you. You can do this: when he flicks you off, turn towards the girls and knowingly say, "he does that because he wants you to like him". If you call him out for exactly what he is doing, you don't need a whole lot of trim to make what you say cut him.

elscorcho1991 · 2014-12-05T14:37:29+00:00

You may be over-thinking it. In my friendships, we often give each other shit like that cause it's our sense of humor. Do you feel disrespected by it? If not, there isn't a problem if you brush it off or do some ribbing back.

Title	How does an alpha command respect from other men?
Author	hrm0894
Upvotes	12
Comments	67
Date	December 5, 2014 2:31 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2od64v/how_does_an_alpha_command_respect_from_other_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/how-does-an-alpha-command-respect-from-other-men.25844 https://theredarchive.com/post/25844

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