tl;dr if possible, rephrase every question as a statement

When I first started talking to girls a lot I noticed a striking pattern; women almost never ask questions. And I realized that the more I mirrored their manner of speaking the more success I had. My take on it is that questions are an efficient, explicit, male way of transferring information that leave no room for mystery and therefore are no fun.

Also, questions leave you open to rejection whereas a statement does not.

Tl;dr told you the "how", now let's dive into the "why"

On a sub-conscious level, asking a question implies investment and neediness. It signals that you need them to reply and in doing so forces them into a lose/lose situation. They're stuck with two choices A) engage in a conversation you do not want to be in, or B) ignore the question and feel awkward.

Either way, they're now subjected to bad feelings the cause of which is you.

Now most people hate saying "no", women especially. They will entertain your question because to them the alternative, feeling socially awkward, literally feels like being set on fire. Nonetheless they now feel resentment towards you because you've forced them to do something they did not wish to do.

This is why if you start a conversation with a girl who's not interested by asking questions she'll give you cold one-word answers. Subconsciously she's going, "I don't want to talk to this person, but I also can't outright ignore them without making things awkward, so I'm going to do the bare-minimum required to be seen as someone who isn't rude."

Everyone has felt the awkwardness of having someone try to sell you shit.

Example A: "Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?" "No, I don't. But I'll talk to you for a minute or two just so I don't feel like a bad person for saying no."

Example B: "Hey, Jesus is pretty cool." "You know what, you're right. Tell me more."

In example A, you're being forced to either talk or feel like a bad person. In example B, you're free to keep walking but if you engage in conversation it is truly your choice.

Statements are outcome independent. You say your piece and that's it. Conversation is over. If they choose to reply, it's truly 100% their choice, not something they were pressured into through social blackmail with the alternative being awkwardness.

A question says, "Can you please give me the answer?" A statement says, "Here's what I think. Feel free to reply, but I don't really care if you don't."

There is also an implied power structure between the asker being subordinate and the replyer being in power.

  • A child asks questions. The parent makes statements.

  • An employee asks questions. The boss makes statements.

  • A student asks questions. The teacher makes statements.

  • A soldier requests orders. The general gives them.

Asking a question puts you in a submissive position because it implies the other person has knowledge that you need which you're requesting from them.

By keeping a conversation primarily statement based, you're verbally sparring as equals.

With statements conversation becomes like a game of tennis. You hit the ball over to their side and it's up to them to decide if they want to hit it back.

Imply something, let them pick up on the context of your statement, and they'll decide how to run with it.

Also depending on how you phrase the question, you could be signaling certain expectations by putting words into the other person's mouth.

For example, "Did you do anything fun this weekend?" "Well, no I didn't. I sat on my ass most of the day, did some laundry, went shopping, and hit the gym. But now your question is making me feel bad because I'm not living up to your implied expectation."

Again lose-lose. Either I lie that I did something fun, which I feel bad about. Or I tell you I'm a boring fuck, which I also feel bad about. All I know is, before we started talking I felt good and now because of your seemingly innocent question I feel like shit.

Rephrased as a statement: "Hope you enjoyed your weekend." "I did, thanks! How about you?" "Sure did. Thanks for asking."

When you make a statement, it's with an assumption of truth. Meaning if they say nothing, they are de facto agreeing with you and if you're wrong the burden is on them to correct you.

Just like Inception, people can always trace the origin of the idea.

Question: "What's your name?" "Lisa." She answered because you compelled her to give you her name.

Statement: "You're Mary right?" "No, I'm Lisa." She chose to give you her name because she wanted to correct you.

People hate feeling powerless. If you allow them to feel in control of their own voice they won't feel resentment towards you.

Examples of how you can turn a question into a statement while allowing the other person to give you the same response:

What do you do for work? / You must have an interesting job

How is your new job? / I heard you got a promotion

Would you like to go on a date? / We should get together sometime

Are you enjoying your meal? / That looks really good

Can you take a picture with me? / Let's take a selfie

Addendum A:

Eliminate weak cop out phrases from your vocabulary like, "I don't know, I'm not sure, I didn't think". Your English teachers taught you to rephrase using action verbs for a reason.

Where do you want to go eat? "I don't know" "I haven't decided yet"

"I don't know if they'll like it." "I wonder if they'll like it."

"I didn't think you'd mind." "I imagined it wouldn't be an issue."

Addendum B:

Rephrase negatives into positives. Always give the other person something to strive toward.

"Not good enough." "I think you can do better."

"I'm disappointed." "I expect more from you."