She used dread game against me

Sympraxis · 2023-07-12T02:31:34+00:00

That's not a shit test, it's just a standard jealousy test. A shit test is when she checks to see if you are insecure about a weakness, like being bald or short. A jealousy test is when she talks about another guy or situation that could be romantic to see if you get jealous or not. You passed because you did not exhibit jealousy.

You don't need to call her out on it, and in fact it would be a little insecure to do so. She made a test, you passed it, end of story.

thexunnamable · 2023-07-12T14:29:49+00:00

Eerily similar to a recent situation I had with a girl. We were fucking for a month to a month-and-a-half (can't recall precisely). She was playing weird games throughout. Going from "I don't like labels" in the very beginning to making it obvious that she wanted me to date her seriously (joking about getting married/moving in/having my kid/saying how much she liked me/literally stalking my IG account and commenting on shit I felt it was weird for her to know, etc.). Good pussy and she was going out of her way to give it to me. But I felt that we didn't have any shared interests upon which to constitute an LTR.

Long story short, we were FaceTiming one night and she joked around about how this guy wanted to take her out and asked what I thought about it. The guy was some loser guy/old "friend" of hers who she would make fun of after I railed her (i.e., look at these pitiful texts this guy sends me, etc., etc.). I said that she should do what she wants. If she wanted to go out with him, then she should. She was visibly distraught by this. "I can't believe you said I should go out with him." Clearly she wanted me to protest. She proceeded to tell me that she wouldn't be seeing me for about a week-and-a-half which coincided with the fact that she had plans to visit NYC with friends during the upcoming weekend. Okay lol.

Next morning I'm doing work on my laptop. She proceeds to send me snaps of her taking a bath. Sends tits/ass/pussy. I'm like okay why don't you come over and fuck. She can't she's busy and she is leaving to go to the city that night.

Lo and behold, she stops responding to my communications while she's in the city over the weekend. This is new. Thereafter, she texts me saying that she wants to be "transparent" and that she actually went to the city to see someone she hadn't seen for four years (not friends, some dude) and that she didn't think we were meant to be more than friends, etc., etc. In the back of my mind, I'm like okay, whatever: this plate has broken. Just thought this event was eerily similar to the one you mentioned. So don't be surprised if she is looking for an LTR and decides to branch swing on you to save face in terms of rejecting you so that she doesn't have to feel rejected any longer.

Odd how a girl will do a fucking 180 if she feels rejected by you to project that onto you. I will miss slamming that submissive little piece of ass. But fuck it. She even proceeded to delete me off IG. Guess I hurt her feelings. Can't seriously date no lil TikTok watching thot tho.

UnorthodoxBodybuild · 2023-07-12T03:56:40+00:00

Stop overthinking bro if its a month and you wanna be exclusive then go for it. Shes gonna jump ship eventually if you just keep her in limbo

redhawkes · 2023-07-12T09:59:35+00:00

This is just a second half of the "what are we" talk.

As you probably know, there's no "a friend of a friend" date, it's just a plot to test the waters, since you didn't give her the answer before.

This is the oldest play in the book, to instill competition anxiety. Usually, when that happens, don't break frame and go full scarcity mode, instead, tell her "you're big girl, you know what to do", or "ok, if that's what you want" and overdrive the hamster.

I've dealt with that shit before, when a chick overtly uses another guy to make me jealous or try to upgrade herself to LTR. My go to was always, "he seems like a cool guy", then watch how her bluff goes down the drain when she says "I don't want to go blablbalba".

Relationships are like farts, if you have to force it then it's probably shit.

It's just a shit test. Don't ever break frame.

Aubrey_D_Graham · 2023-07-12T02:59:57+00:00

Like you said at the start, you've decided to not be exclusive, so why are you so hung up on a woman? If I was in your position, I would have invited her to stay the night instead letting her go. You can test women too. Get it?

never_nic · 2023-07-12T08:09:35+00:00

"Dread game" and "spinning plates" were borrowed straight out of the female dating strategy playbook lol. We copied over what they do naturally.

TheZimboKing · 2023-07-12T04:16:43+00:00

we’ve been spending a lot of time together, where do you see things going with us?”

I have always responded to this the same way, and as I have gotten older, my response to this has become truer and truer.

"I want nothing to change. I ask for too much in a relationship, and I don't want to put expectations on you that will be too hard for you to reach. But you can prove to me if you can take it."

Now, again, she has to qualify herself for a relationship with me and I raise my demands of her without calling us exclusive.

When she does something slightly disobedient, she gets hit with "see, you can't follow daddy's simplest rules." In a light-hearted manner, no need to be autistic about it. It gets her back into performance to please mode, without me losing my rights to play the field.

Very rarely, she does really perform great and I run out of unsatisfied demands. I find that with such girls I will be already confessing my "undying love" for them in no time.

I hate LTR's but "good girls" function best in them. When a girl you are attracted to really loves you, wants you, performs and defers to you, you are screwed. Good thing most girls are NOT like that.

(she) says “Hey this friend of a friend asked me to go to this thing tonight and I’m not sure if it’s like supposed to be a date but I want things to be transparent between us so I wanted to see how you feel about that.”

This would not have come up if she were trying to prove herself to be exclusive relationship material without it backfiring into her face.

"how you feel about that.”

I don't know your girl but you do. What is apparent is that she is looking for boundaries. You have offered none. I would give mine without attachment.

If I want to stay open with her AND absolutely don't want an LTR at all, I would encourage her to go. Ask her if she "found love" later when I am thrusting into her, her naked ass against my carpet.

If I wanted an LTR I would have conditioned her from the start at least to not bring up her dates around me. It's basic etiquette.

My Conclusion: if I have been fucking a girl for a month and she still wants to go on dates with other guys, she could never be my gf.

justtenofusinhere · 2023-07-12T15:35:09+00:00

You didn't necessarily fail, but you didn't ace that jealousy test.

A better response would have been along the lines of, "If that sounds like something you want to do, go for it, just know I'm not into sharing, so...." and leave the ball in her court. If she goes, black her on everything.

Elysium____ · 2023-07-12T11:13:26+00:00

She’s running dread game on you because you’re taking things too slow this whole thing about taking things slow it’s not what women want if they want a guy they want the guy to make moves the slower the guy takes things the more she thinks he’s a pussy escalate until you hear no or stop. Stop cockblocking yourself and get out of your own head. Come on be a man.

hiktaka · 2023-07-12T07:54:09+00:00

Any girl putting another man into the picture is just a bad LTR material, let alone during the courtship phase. Either you mateguard her and lose, or stay cool and she proceeds fucking him, and you lose too.

Put her down as a plate, or enjoy MFM threesome if you're into it.

Redpiller1988 · 2023-07-12T12:16:20+00:00

Women will shit test you constantly. It’s their way of probing a man to see if he’ll stay centered or not. You did good man, don’t be too hard on yourself. Next time you see her don’t mention a thing. In the future if something like that is thrown your way don’t respond at all. Or make it something like, “have fun!”

Woujo · 2023-07-13T13:51:51+00:00

Whether or not you responded correctly depends on what you want.

Do you want an exclusive relationship. If so, you passed the "test."

Do you just want her to be a plate? If so, you lied to her because you are weak and needy. So you failed.

One of the stupid ideas that Red Pillers need to let go is the fantasy that every girl will be a plate. No, some girls want an exclusive relationship and if you don't give it to them they will leave. I have had lots of women ask me for exclusive relationships that I did not want to be exclusive with, and one of 3 things happens:

1) I say no and they leave, OR

2) I say no and they understand and things stay good, OR

3) I say no and they stick around and keep fucking me, but the fucking is "under protest," which means they are constantly scheming on how they can be exclusive with me and sabotage my other relationships.

BeetleLord · 2023-07-12T09:44:27+00:00

You know, if you keep fucking around this woman is going to be fucking other guys because you're essentially giving her permission to do so. If you want to be exclusive, then just do it. Doesn't mean you have to change anything else about your behavior.

Br41n_w4sh3d · 2023-07-12T06:20:45+00:00

I honestly think it was more of a “is this guy even really into me” test. If she’s real, then I would quit playing the “red pill” game and treat her like a woman.

RisingTigre · 2023-07-12T10:13:12+00:00

Why would you explain shit like “I know we’re not officially exclusive yet.. blah blah blah” when you could’ve just told her “aight have fun” and not think about it? Also don’t LTR if she has that type of behavior.

Xersis2020 · 2023-07-12T11:33:24+00:00

Spin another plate. Or more if you can manage.

If you have multiple options then you'll be much more prepared for this kind of test.

kclanton80 · 2023-07-12T13:45:52+00:00

She should be officially eliminated from ltr consideration for pulling this nonsense. If it's a test....it's bad. If it's real....it's WORSE.

It's likely real and as women are taught today, she has been exploring her options the whole time. You want a woman that she's you as her tope choice from the start and is not exploring other options IF you have LTR interest.

This woman is a plate....and a plate it's likely time for you to drop. You had your fun...when the bullshit starts move on.

redpillschool · 2023-07-12T15:20:45+00:00

Is she a plate? Then ignore.

Did you want a LTR? Then soft next.

YDDMS · 2023-07-12T16:44:35+00:00

This wasn't a test or dread. Females don't use dread. This is just basic hypergamy. She's exploring her options while you seem to have none.

She didn't "break your frame" with the phone call.

Your frame is not some lifebar in a video game. It's who you are. And you communicated poorly that: I'm saying "Do what you gotta do" but.... I'm super needy and want to be exclusive with you blah blah blah so this is in short doublespeak.

Calling her out will make it worse. Again, this is basic female hypergamy not a "mind game"

Get your shit together get some options, because based off of your post you're living a scarcity mindset and she is seeing right through it.

TheZimboKing · 2023-07-12T04:41:27+00:00

(she) says “Hey this friend of a friend asked me to go to this thing tonight and I’m not sure if it’s like supposed to be a date but I want things to be transparent between us so I wanted to see how you feel about that.”

This would not have come up if she were trying to prove herself to be exclusive relationship material without it backfiring into her face.

"how you feel about that.”

I don't know your girl but you do. What is apparent is that she is looking for boundaries. You have offered none. I would give mine without attachment.

If I want to stay open with her AND absolutely don't want an LTR at all, I would encourage her to go. Ask her if she "found love" later when I am thrusting into her, her naked ass against my carpet.

If I am wanted an LTR I would have conditioned her from the start not to mention dates with other guys around me. It's basic etiquette.

Shot-Cellist9635 · 2023-09-11T19:17:09+00:00

It's called boundaries and self respect. Playing games with a woman's heart is a recipe for you to die alone with only paid nurses who won't issue you. You didn't want her you playd her she's doing her best to accept that with you there will never be emotional intimacy because you need to hold your frame. Women do have feelings whether you want to accept that is up to you but look at the girls on the alpha boy podcasts.. heap girls. Ladies don't accept those games. We keep ourselves on the pedestal and I'd a man tries to knock us off it then we leave. Unlike men women form tight social groups we celebrate holidays together buy houses travel everything.. healthy women WANT men but don't need it so Westby single until we meet a man who makes our life more meaningful than being single..you messed up. Big time. You don't deserve a woman's love if this is how you treat her. You gius really are pathetic

Master_of_bitches · 2023-07-12T02:14:32+00:00

Hey, how do you post on this subreddit? Are there some requirements I can't find! Or do they check every post before letting it through. I have been trying to post a few times now and nothing has popped up.

josh_e_pants · 2023-07-12T17:48:02+00:00

A girl did this to me once. I told her I didn't want her to go out with another guy because it made me jealous. That made her very happy and we dated for another 2 years. She's just trying to force your hand. If you acted super insecurely about it, that would obviously change the cost benefit analysis for her, but a little bit of jealousy is fine. Women want a high value man to be jealous over them.

TrenWarrior · 2023-07-12T13:57:51+00:00

I wouldn't say failed, I would say it was a minor slip-up, keep doing what you're doing, but keep awareness of what you say, and do not bring that shit up again.

mister_k1 · 2023-07-12T15:03:52+00:00

“...but I do want to become exclusive with you soon.”

like you aren't already?? man if you had options you'll have never utter such stupid words...with replies like this i can tell you never had frame in the first place. not trying to be mean but someone has to be upfront with you.

_do_not_read_this_ · 2023-07-12T12:33:45+00:00

Messy sentence

No shit. Move on, she already has.

Opening_Tell9388 · 2023-07-12T14:26:16+00:00

Ya'll come off doofy af trying to "Hold frame."

RP is coming off as like "pick me" but the many man men edition.

AcrobaticRhubarb2147 · 2023-07-12T16:44:26+00:00

well, you've been playing her and she played you back. no harm no foul. just ignore and move on, just realize you kinda deserved it. Of course she is into you and wanted to be exclusive and if you want the same, but came off aloof, then that's a hard to get game you played on her. And well, you started the game and she just finished it. Essentially, she called you out. she called your bluff.

drewdontcare · 2023-07-12T16:57:53+00:00

I would have to told her “make sure you use a condom in case I want to fuck you this week”….you fucked up.

ktheguy · 2023-07-13T23:01:47+00:00

first sentence was all you needed.

as for moving forward:

fuck it. remember Ivan Drago. "if it dies, it dies."

Mighty-Bear · 2023-07-14T23:19:56+00:00

Would it be too bad of a choice of just saying she can do what she wants but if she goes out with another man you don't want do see her anymore?

hotwomyn · 2023-07-17T09:24:52+00:00

Either don’t bring it up at all, or make fun of her for 20 min bringing it up all night while you’re both laughing. Don’t have a serious convo about it. Take her somewhere fun, fk her good that night and go back to working on your mission.

Title	She used dread game against me
Author	russianbot24
Upvotes	75
Comments	73
Date	July 12, 2023 2:05 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/14xasac/she_used_dread_game_against_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/she-used-dread-game-against-me.1225002 https://theredarchive.com/post/1225002

Comments