Well fuck.

Kill_Your_Ego · 2015-09-16T02:35:41+00:00

Read through the sidebar. Keep improving yourself. I've sometimes felt bad for my friends when I see them doting on girls and giving them attention thinking this gets their vaginas moisturizing. It does not. Just one of the many lies we've been spoon fed.

Welcome aboard.

abdada · 2015-09-16T02:29:38+00:00

Anger mode is "anger at yourself" mode. Glad you're past it.

Google: 12 levels of dread and pay attention to the reading materials. Internalize.

HappyScribe · 2015-09-16T08:55:07+00:00

Lots of people will tell you this but you need to go monk mode - Realise you can be happy without women, work on yourself, lift weights, do shit that scares you.

I've been reading the sidebar and posts for over a year, and I still haven't internalized it. Yes, I understand everything on an intellectual level, I'm now a lot more stoic, but I still occasionally do beta things - I don't recognise shit tests; I supplicate; I have little woe is me days.

If you haven't read these books, I recommend them:

No More Mr Nice Guy - It's a fundamental book. It explained so much to me.
The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi

There are many other books, but those two helped me the most.

This will sound hippy like, but the most important thing is learn to love and respect yourself. Put yourself first, have pride in who you are, and you'll notice people will react differently toward you.

projectself · 2015-09-16T05:49:36+00:00

http://www.redpillhandbook.com/

handbook v2 and sidebar pdfs..

let the kungfu download begin..

Viminia7 · 2015-09-16T13:50:12+00:00

A book called No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover might help you here. It sounds like (and correct me if I'm wrong) you've probably fallen into the nice guy trap and could use a book like this to help with your unplugging.

Otherwise, just the same old. Lift, read sidebar etc.

Welcome.

Hunter2isit · 2015-09-16T03:14:15+00:00

eing buds, giving her chocolate, taking her to breakfast, bringing her starbucks at work, texting compliments and.

stop being a fucking faggot. Shit I'm on booze and ambien and I have the clairvoyance to see that shit show.

Outcome independence

This is to be your religion. Worship in the alter of the sidebar. Know its branches of self improvement, the strong wind of abundance, and its ambivalence to validation. There in the sidebar you will find your way to appreciating the art, the tree of knowledge. May we bask in its glory

I had 2 glasses of wine with dinner and an ambien so FYI this might all be shit

moneyandsexislife · Wed Sep 16 2:40:59 2015 UTC

You need to give more details about your epiphany. Someone's going to come after you on the fence, and if his situation looks like yours, you've saved him. Otherwise, this belongs at thanks.

razorwan · 2015-09-16T03:32:12+00:00

A lot of times we think that we have a grasp on a situation in our head but when it comes time to tango, we fuck up. It's OK-- the most RP lesson is that learning is without pretense. Stay constructive, keep your head up. Go try again and again and again but make the active attempt to learn from past fuck-ups. This is the only way to learn how to change a lifestyle you were conditioned in since you were a kid. It's not easy, but fuck all of that-- it's necessary.

nrokchi · 2015-09-16T13:41:52+00:00

Read the side bar through.

For me, it has been about discipline. Setting clear, unambiguous goals for myself and following through with them. All too often we are put in padded, climate controlled boxes of comfort. So comfortable that when we finally have the opportunity to leave, we choose not to. Making the choice to get uncomfortable helps you challenge yourself. Overcoming challenges builds character, builds confidence, builds aptitude, and builds you.

When you're at the gym, do you listen to music or information? Are you a Democrat? Listen to Republican podcasts! Are you a Christian? Listen to atheism YouTube videos! Is what you ordered at dinner not what you expected? Call the wait staff or chef out on it! Getting yourself intellectually uncomfortable is as important as being socially or physically uncomfortable. It isn't about becoming the opposite of what you are, it's about the process by which you have convinced yourself you are an X and not a Y. Listening to Y as presented by intelligent, thoughtful people challenges you to justify why you are still an X. Can't do it? Then why the hell were you an X in the first place? That is the process by which we unplug and find ourselves; the search is as important as the outcome.

What's next? Start getting outside of your comfort zone. Welcome and good luck!

WilsonSelf · 2015-09-16T15:56:03+00:00

"Then I passed that anger and got to someplace that was pretty fucking scary. It was cold, emotionless, and pitiless towards myself."

This. This needs an acronym, because it's not the anger phase. It's as if you're standing in the eye of the storm, completely and utterly calm & impenetrable, nothing can move you, good or bad. There's almost room for laughter because this place is so fucking devoid of emotion, like being thrown into a temporary state of psychopathy as a defense mechanism.

I've been there plenty of times, never because of the red pill. The first time was when my dear friend passed away, I went on a bender for a couple of weeks and ended up in that state. Second was when my fostermother was diagnosed with cancer when I was a kid, ended up there in the end as well.

The Empty Space, perhaps. It's so fucking powerful.

Paid_Internet_Troll · 2015-09-16T20:40:19+00:00

"Ever loved someone so much, you would do anything for them? Yeah, well, make that someone yourself and do whatever the hell you want." - Harvey Specter

DarkSayed · 2015-09-16T21:25:44+00:00

AWALT.

Channel the anger/despair/hate into something useful.

Also, AWALT, don't forget it unless you want to feel like a fool again.

sigmayogi · 2015-09-16T13:44:15+00:00

Lift bro. Lift like you are zyzz himself.

I cannot overestimate the effects of testosterone on a male psyche.

That 14 year old dumbass you turn into will be replaced by an alpha.

raceAround126 · 2015-09-16T08:54:33+00:00

Most of us have been where you are. Concentrating on yourself - which includes a proper weight training regimen - is your first priority always. And fuck anyone who tries to tell you that you either "don't need to" or "you look fine" or "what are you trying to prove". No answers required.

All of it does pass. If you told me ten years ago I'd be scoring one night stands with ease, I'd wonder what's been put in your coffee. Nowadays, my only big regret is wondering why I didn't start sooner or why nobody let me in on this secret in the first place.

Noculum · 2015-09-16T09:27:42+00:00

Learn to worship yourself and not women.

nantucketghost · 2015-09-16T11:32:13+00:00

deleted ^{^{^What}} ^{^{^is}} ^{^{^this?}}

Buchloe · 2015-09-16T22:17:39+00:00

Watch. In less than a year you'll read your post again, and viscerally cringe and the thought of even considering buying a girl chocolate and being her bud. It's a good feeling knowing deep down what the proper approach towards women is.

deeman010 · 2015-09-16T22:23:08+00:00

Just get rich. Who the fuck cares about anything else?

Alexfortomorrow · 2015-09-16T08:08:57+00:00

The sidebar is literally kung fu, read that shit till your eyes bleed.

Anyway welcome, swallowing the pill is the start of a great journey of self improvement.

Rules:

Stop being a beta faggot willing to do everything for her. It's bad. 1a. If you don't do it already: Lift.
Forget everything you've ever thought you knew so well about women, sex, relationships etc... All those rules where complete BS. 2a. Prepare to have your mind completely rewired. It will look weird and fucked up at first but believe me it will all make sense soon enough.
Read the shit out of this sub, lurking is a must. You'll probably post again months from now (like I did)
Forget the past, it's shit that's already done and should be gone from your mind. Focus on the present.

Welcome to the club!

-Quotidian · 2015-09-16T09:38:15+00:00

Didn't think I'd ever say this, but keep using those needles. Keep track of your emotional development--the phases you're going through, the changes in your opinions and responses, how you initially view things--and continue optimizing your mind and body.

The next step, my friend, is to figure out what you want for yourself. If it's a woman, pick something else. If it's women in general, there's reading and practicing ahead of you. The sidebar is our prerequisite syllabus. Scour TRP's best posts, but make sure to implement the strategies you find useful. Practice. Go out and do shit. Find happiness and fulfillment without women. Know how to recognize blue-pill shit and stop it cold.

Your journey has just begun, and it sounds like you're in a good position to really implement these changes. Welcome to the real world.

xkcd_puppy · 2015-09-16T10:05:36+00:00

AWALT. May help you understand a lot of things you just can't logic.

NightwingTRP · 2015-09-16T11:35:44+00:00

Once you've read the basic theory on the sidebar, there's two pretty obvious broad brushstroke steps to getting your sexual strategy back on track.

Step one: Objectively assess your own SMV level and don't be generous. It's better to be harsh. Looks, grooming, style, how close is your body to the male ideal (an ideal which hasn't changed in hundreds of years.) Go Monk Mode if you need to improve.

Step two: Get out there and start practicing your game. I put together the TRP Field Toolkit (which you can find in my submissions history) for this very purpose. It unifies all the basics of raw game from attitude, through posture, to interactions and making judgement calls. Internalise that 4-part series and you'll see almost instant results in your interactions with women.

Once you've got that first lay or two under your belt, you'll start feeling much better about yourself. But never forget... that Disney love story doesn't exist. Don't let that nonsense you could never have, take away from the sex you can have. Love, as Rollo shows in "Men in love," is a luxury men can no longer afford.

McLarenX · 2015-09-16T11:51:24+00:00

My #1 advice is to read the recommended RP books and start setting short term and long term goals for yourself. Goals that you WILL hold yourself to no matter what.

EGOtyst · 2015-09-16T12:08:11+00:00

Remember too: you have been conditioned to be like this by social pressure as a whole, not by individuals.

Anger phase is natural, but eventually you realize that women aren't necessarily to blame, and being angry at them is silly. It's like the story of the frog and the scorpion.

You just have to deprogram, and start being a man, because they are just being women.

joshsoowong · 2015-09-16T12:16:43+00:00

I think reading rp books can help reshape your mind. What you think you will become.

keeekeeess · 2015-09-16T12:56:09+00:00

Read/Listen to the book No more mister nice guy.

isayimnothere · 2015-09-16T13:28:45+00:00

Use your anger to improve yourself. Welcome to the real world. It sucks but its all there is. Crush it and make it your own. This places ideas freed me from depression and put everything in a framework I understand. If you can embrace it and motivate yourself to improve and enjoy your life you will be in for a good time. Me? I'm just finally happy I understand what is actually going on.

Sdom1 · 2015-09-16T14:48:08+00:00

tl;dr - Don't do nice things for people unless they've done something to deserve it. It plays games with their minds, and not the kind you want.

First off, don't beat yourself up. Straying off course and getting back on, or having to make on the fly adjustments are parts of any endeavor. From hitting a target with a missile, to landing a ship on the moon, to launching a product on time.

So, here's the problem with what you did with this girl. It's OK to do nice things for her, BUT...your problem is that you're doing them way too much, way too early, and she's not doing anything to deserve it. There are a few reasons why, and it's the context that you need to understand and internalize. Get that right and you'll know what to do in unforeseen situations.

The first concept I want you to understand is that people do not value that which they didn't earn. It's similar to the Tragedy of the Commons. Either they don't understand that it has value, since you just gave it to them for nothing, or they deep down don't believe they deserve it and thus reject it at that deep level. Ever heard a woman say that she felt like a guy had an ulterior motive somehow, even though it makes no sense and he was just being nice? Well, he was too nice and she thought he wanted something from her in the future since she'd done nothing in the present to merit this treatment.

In this case, you bulldozed this chick with flowers, chocolate, weekends in Tuscany, etc. She knows she did nothing to deserve this treatment. A lot of player techniques build off of this - they make her sell you on her as a person. She's working for your affection, so when she gets it, she values it. She earned it!

So, let's apply the concept to your situation. You can give her things, and do nice things for her, but you should have spread it way the hell out, and you only do these things for her if everything is going well and she's adding value to your life. Quid pro quo.

Another reason you want to avoid doing too many dramatic gestures for her is what's called a person's baseline for happiness. Ever wonder how a celebrity could be miserable? They are wealthy, most people love them, they get special treatment everywhere they go, etc, etc, right?

It's because after awhile, no matter how awesome shit is, it becomes your baseline. That celebrity? He EXPECTS shit to be fucking awesome all the time, and when it's only somewhat awesome, he is unhappy. It's common for a celebrity who loses his fame and position to be miserable for the rest of his life, even if his life is still way better than the average person's.

Same thing with a woman. If you get her used to being worshipped, and for whatever reason she's OK with it after awhile, the problem is that you need to keep that shit up forever, or suddenly you're a bad boyfriend or husband! She'll bitch to her friends about how the spark is gone, you're such an asshole, or inattentive, bla bla bla.

Add that to the fact that, if you're with the girl for awhile that things are bound to get less romantic (marriage, kids, increased job responsibilities, etc) and you can see how you set yourself up for disaster later on.

SkorchZang · 2015-09-16T14:54:01+00:00

cold, emotionless, and pitiless towards myself

Flip it around, and you'll see that you just described for yourself the archetypical female: "hot-headed, emotional, full of pity toward herself". This is a clue, detective exarkun007. Why, you have literally been trying to be a woman all this time, because of the blue pill disinformation. No wonder you have not succeeded. Bless your heart that you have not!

That scary "cold, emotionless, and pitiless towards myself" place is the precious forbidden seedling of being an actual man. You'll find that even just that by itself, when it manifests in your behavior, is very attractive to the opposite sex. Opposites attract.

MattyAnon · 2015-09-16T15:43:15+00:00

Been reading the sidebar stuff for a few days, finally subbed, and I'm ready.

Absorb it, live your life fully awake, eyes wide open and fully accepting of the realities of TRP. This seems to take anywhere from 6 to 12 months at your age, so don't rush through the anger stage.

Main tenet of TRP: put yourself (your body, mind and mission) first. Ditch any girls that distract you or are too demanding.

the_red_scimitar · 2015-09-16T16:33:12+00:00

It's super common for a guy to discover TRP, get all into it, and THEN have that one, final, disastrous "relationship" in which he goes all beta, fucks it all up, and then sits there, reexamining everything he knows he should have done differently. It's really at that point one finally, often, commits to a real red-pill life.

RXRob · 2015-09-16T17:31:54+00:00

Internalise TRP.

There's no set path to this. Just keep reading, practising and living.

One day you'll wake up and you won't be faking it until you make it, you'll have made it. That's when life gets truly awesome.

BlackHeart89 · 2015-09-16T18:13:13+00:00

What's next?

Read the sidebar and chill out. And learn to get rid of "anger" in general. Its a useless emotion for the most part. Burns too much energy and often time distorts your vision.

pheluhnee · 2015-09-16T18:22:49+00:00

[deleted]

What is this?

Derzu_Uzala · 2015-09-16T18:22:55+00:00

Depedestalize women

They are just human beings WITH A TOTALLY different sexual agenda.

Reread the sidebar, go out and test things in the field. You'll crash and burn a lot, reread again, repeat cycle. Then you'll start to fly.

Welcome

newmeforever · 2015-09-16T18:41:24+00:00

Welcome to the club ;)

You will enjoy your stay here. At least I have.

No more Mr. Nice Guy

Doc_redpill · 2015-09-16T18:54:29+00:00

Let the jimmies rustle through you.... In other words it's okay to be mad, it's a step towards swallowing the full red pill. Dont let anyone deny you that step. But stay here and lurk a while. Learn some new tactics, they arent all about getting pussy (they have improved my quality of life) and read all the side bar info possible. Im still learning but the more I read and the more I put this knowledge to use in my life the more im seeing positive affects on everything. Anyways good luck bro.

BobBobCan · 2015-09-16T19:10:36+00:00

Welcome on board. The prevalent advice is to lift, socialize , get pussy but I'm of the opinion that your no.1 priority should be to think clearly about your passion and interests in life and craft a plan to achieve these. This is very urgent and supercedes everything else.

To do this you will need to become realistic to the core; a modern day courtier that knows how to get his things in life. There is no one way street here to get here, you will need to find your path. To arm yourself through this, Robert Greene work '48 laws of power' will arm you in your power struggles. Its a core red pill book. His book on strategy is equally important.

For intergender dynamic, Professor Tomassi has a fantastic blog with weekly updates and a must read 'best of' of articles to learn more about women, relationship etc. But really, you should focus on your goals in life and put these under all curcumstances as a top priority. Everything else will follow from there.

should_ · 2015-09-16T19:36:41+00:00

Then I passed that anger and got to someplace that was pretty fucking scary. It was cold, emotionless, and pitiless towards myself. I took stock of myself in that state and was disgusted by what I had allowed myself to become.

I have been in that state ever since the anger phase and hadn't seen it as a problem...oops

What's the 'improved' part of this? More fun-loving? I kind of like being very rational and I'm sure no one's arguing against that; it seems like the alternatives are blue pill and just being a warm overall good guy...who keeps his new reality-biting secrets to himself. Right?

Alleycat0 · 2015-09-17T20:52:30+00:00

Exactly, if you could read my mind.

higgitydoo · 2015-09-17T22:00:56+00:00

Fucking right man. My life hasn't been better since I got my shit in gear and did things for me first.

HappyMGTOW · 2015-09-20T04:12:00+00:00

|Normally I'm fine, but put me with an attractive girl, and I suddenly have the social skills of a 14 year old down syndrome kid who was raised by wolves.

What got me over this was being abound yoga babes on a daily basis for two+years now. To me they are ho hum

advisor4 · 2015-09-16T18:47:35+00:00

You need monk mode. (look it up yourself!)

You get and believe the theory, but you have yet to see it. Read the fucking sidebar, read the top 100 posts. Then the top 200. Get your red fucking lenses. At some point in that journey will it all click. DO NOT STOP READING when it does. But do then go out and get laid.

Chopin_ · 2015-09-16T05:18:24+00:00

Tom Lyieks, youtube, he has a 101 class for guys like you if you don't want to read, but at least read the sidebar.

tigerjaws · 2015-09-16T08:36:58+00:00

Why are you angry with YOURSELF? It's not you that did anything wrong, if anything you just followed the shit you were fed your entire life! "Give her chocolates, tell her she's pretty, don't ever question her, blah blah' This is what we're all fed through TV and shit and it turns you into a beta and I'm glad you've seen the light and realized that it's not you that did anything wrong it's this shit culture we live in with feminism that encourages girls to be hypergamous as fuck and to fuck you over look man, it's possible you'll find a unicorn out there but i agree with you man, i hate the way women have become. And i get it, a 3 month relationship but imagine if it was with a girl you'd been married to for 15 years? And had 2 kids? it happens to a lot of guys

Title	Well fuck.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	94
Comments	85
Date	September 16, 2015 2:21 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3l4en2/well_fuck/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/well-fuck.36452 https://theredarchive.com/post/36452

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