You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you.

Maintaining your state:

You can tell the character of a man by how he takes criticism. Is he shaken up? Is he defensive and threatened? Is he apprehensive? Does he get nervous?

Recently I approached my dad, and I said: “dad, your gaining weight. You look fat, and it’s not healthy. You need to lose weight”. (We have an honest, straightforward relationship. I am genuinely am concerned for him, because of his sedentary lifestyle.)

Instead of being reactive, he calmly looked me in the eye and said:

“You think so? What types of things should I start doing? What are the risks of being heavier? Maybe you could show me a few pointers on you and your brothers weight lifting routine.” Laughed, and shook my hand. Then we went out kayaking on the lake after that.

I was stunned. He diffused the situation, took ownership, held frame, and turned criticism into an area where he could improve. Then after the conversation, he thanked me for the feedback. He did not become unsteady, or glance away, his body language didn’t change.

I know many people who would’ve been very offended. And said things like, oh fuck you, you lose weight. Or don’t tell me how to live. Or oh your not perfect either. Or play the victim, (get all sullen and act offended — then go passive aggressive) like my mother would.

Despite my dad being not in control of the weight gain — as in not directly his fault. (he has a mental illness, and a side effect of anti-psychotics is weight gain), he had complete control over the situation and his frame. He didn’t DEER (defend, explain, excuse, rationalize). He accepted the comment, and worked on improving himself.

You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing everything with logic; true power is restraint. If words control you that means everyone else can control you; breath and allow things to pass.

There are going to be times where men and women will test you. Test your frame, and criticize you. People will say things like:

“You’ve been lifting weights for 2 years and you don’t look like so and so on instagram”.

“So and so bitch’s guy does this for her and he’s taking her to Cuba”.

“Why don’t you get a job like everyone else and stop working on your business. It’s clearly not working for you.”

“Your lame, why don’t you come out and drink with us Monday night?”

Maintain your state control.

You are an oak tree. You will not be manipulated by crying, yelling, lying, head games, sexual withdrawal, jealousy ploys, pity plays, shit tests, hot/cold/hot/cold, disappearing acts, or guilt trips. She will rain and thunder all around you and you will shelter her until her storm passes. She will not drag you into her chaos or uproot you. When you have mastery over yourself, you will have mastery over her.

— cited from redpillschool

How you respond to each test is going to vary (sexual mate, LTR, friends, family) but the importance is to hold frame. Responses to shit tests have been covered at length here. Use the search function.

Actionable advice:

Accept criticism in a calm and collected way.

Summary:

They’ll test you, and then they’ll test you again, and they’ll do it again to try and break you. Most men will break. Most people will break. If you want to measure a true alpha’s strength, watch how they take criticism.