I'm posting this in this subreddit, because basically I'm done here on reddit, and this looked like the only place that would understand this.

I signed up here because I had an idea for a new type of community of my own in the self-improvement niche. My plan was, since there were large numbers of young men coming here on different subreddits asking for life help, that I could give them the advice (basically just the common sense advice you guys would all already know), and then angle it into somehow poaching them into my new community.

The new community was going to be fundamentally based on the ass-kicking principle: tell us what you commit to doing; show us your records that you're doing it, or fuck off; and if you fail to do it we will comment on it. (of course, doing it gets wordy encouragement too). As a result of them taking this action for a sustained period of time, they will get the goodies (women, career, etc). It's simply unavoidable for 90%+ of men: if you're expending full effort every day, be it in the gym, or on your business, or on your other pursuits, or on meeting women, you're going to get the goodies eventually.

There is simply no better principle to follow when it comes to rectifying courses of action, which is why the military is "sir, yes sir", not "hhiiii private! Are you having a comfortable time in the barracks? Are you enjoying my command or do you have some feedback?

The reason I wanted to start this type of community was that I suffered immensely as a bottom-tier young man, completely unnecessarily, and I want to help prevent it happening to others.

But now I see it's pointless trying to do that here on reddit. Every single time I've reached out to help some kid who asked a "my life is horrible/meaningless what do I do?", and laid out to him exactly what to do, I've received the following types of responses:

  • Never hear back from him again. Account goes permanently silent.

  • Deletes his account (that hurt, because they were in real shit positions I new exactly how to help them out of)

  • Continues to whine and reject common sense advice instead of committing to do at least one small piece of it

  • Ignores offers to be held accountable (by them posting their weekly work)

  • Continues to ask more questions unnecessarily, to put off having to take action. I call this "false advice seeking lazyness", it allows them to pretend they're working towards improving, whilst doing literally the least effort thing they can: posting something whiny on reddit for 30 minutes. And they don't even bother to format it right. And then they follow zero of the advice or even delete their account.

I've yet to have a single case where the kid actually took up arms against his situation.

I can now say that in most cases, young men being in a shit position is their own deliberate, conscious, self doing. Followed by garbage parenting (although those two can be intertwined), and a final last their environment and genes. I'm estimating 60-30-10.

So I'd be interested to see in the comments if anyone had ideas how to recruit young men for a genuine self-improvement community, who'd actually take the advice and submit to being held accountable for executing it.

But overall it's pretty demoralizing. I had this image in my head that if someone laid out logically how to get out of a shit situation, these kids would get excited and at least do some of it and report back. But it turns out the mere asking of the question is the sum total of the energy they're willing to expend to alleviate their desperation and pain. What the hell gives?

I blame all of it on the parents. Their parenting is so bad, it even imbues their kids with the incapacity to escape it.

These guys are literally their own worst enemy. They're deliberately holding themselves in the shit.

I really want to do work in this area. But what I want to recruit is as follows:

  • Young men in a shit situation (e.g. can't get a woman, no idea of what work/career they want to pursue, living a shitty meaningless life, see no hope for the future, etc; all primarily through failures of their parents/teachers/etc

  • Are actually willing to commit to more than 1% of the effort it will take to fix the situation. Like, at least willing to come back to an online anonymous forum and reply with their recent efforts, if someone can paint a logical compelling picture of why the work will fix the situation.

I just don't get what the fuck this is. When I was in my shit situation I reached out and hunted for years for some guidance out of it. I would've killed to be given the common sense advice I've now gathered and that has lead me to an acceptable life. But these kids are in pain but willing to do nothing at all to fix it. It's just filling me with disgust instead of sympathy and compassion.

EDIT: I've been receiving a constant stream of messages asking for guidance as a result of this post. Seems like I shouldn't have even bothered in the other subreddits. I'm going to try and get the community system up and running as soon as practical. Also I hope this isn't frowned upon as poaching, since it won't really actually overlap with the bulk of what this community is for.