So many conditional statements a programmer couldn't debug. If you....muh big fake boobies.

goodmansaysfuckyou · 2020-02-24T03:27:38+00:00

Just judging from the pictures; she is attractive, she takes care of herself, and has regal qualities. I do not think that she is unattractive--especially for her listed age. She is most definitely attractive enough that someone will wife her up...if we were talking about an average middle class 50 year old re-THOT. However, we are not. Some of the information that rule#6 removes sets up a different playing field and occasionally can provide valuable information about the THOT being showcased.

With this particular THOT, the main problem is that she lives in the 'country club district' suburbs of a large city; and while the average guy would wife her up in minute; the high value--high net worth guys her age, that own multiple $2-10M homes, would not.

She will be on Tinder for a long time trying to find that independently wealthy Thaddeus in her age range because he is busy dating the 25-30 year old daughters of her friends. The best that she can hope for is to 'slum it' a little bit with the middle (or upper middle) class Chad; because if she ends up in a marriage or certain types of LTR's (in the state she resides) then she will loose her alimony payments from her big money ex.

Odinson864 · 2020-02-20T14:10:57+00:00

50 year old and still refers to herself as girl.

BarryBenbow · 2020-02-20T14:22:36+00:00

Taking everything at face value (my guess is that the picture is 7 years and 30 pounds ago), she's in the top 1% for her age group. The fake boobs are well done and don't look bolted on.

The top 1% of 50 year old women have a real disadvantage though. The top 1% of 50 year old men don't marry the top 1% of 50 year old women unless they bring money, class, or connections to the table. This is an aging party girl who married Chad, had him pay for the boobies, then got traded in for a newer model.

The best she'll be able to do for marriage is, nah, that ship sailed and left her in port. She can still pull dick, but she wants the ring and bragging rights.

TerpsMakeMeDrink · 2020-02-20T14:24:26+00:00

Can you imagine the fuckin MEAT FLAPS on a 50 year old CC rider? Looking like an Arby's Big Montana.

Something_Chronical · 2020-02-20T14:55:57+00:00

If you like fake balloon boobs and wrinkled vaginas, swipe right.

AngryCockOfJustice · 2020-02-20T14:41:55+00:00

I like to laugh...at post wall women demanding everything and more while nothing to offer except used up body, saggy tits, flappy stomach and behavioral issues.

sleepyweaselisawake · 2020-02-20T15:12:55+00:00

If you're 50.. you're not my girl.

Honest_Solution · 2020-02-20T14:19:21+00:00

Even at 50 they’re still showing their tits off

OracleofFl · 2020-02-20T14:45:09+00:00

Should have used a Case statement!

Yuuzhan83 · 2020-02-20T15:14:51+00:00

[deleted]

RunawayGrain · 2020-02-20T16:06:24+00:00

If that expiration date is 20 years ago... I'm not your guy.

If you have tats on fake tits, but paradoxically a list of demands ... I'm not your guy.

If your profile pic looks like the Joker disguised and in drag ... I'm not your guy.

If you're fifty and making the same demands a twenty year old in her prime would ... I'm not your guy.

Finally, I'm a gentleman, like to laugh, want to do new and fun things, if you're looking for a relationship ... I'm looking for a girl half your age.

Westernhagen · 2020-02-20T15:29:48+00:00

Note the low-quality photo - poor resolution that conceals wrinkles and poor skin quality. Wonder if any of the other photos in her profile are of good quality. Not uncommon for women over 40 to have nothing but crappy low-res photos in their profile - "oops, tee hee, I just don't have many good photos of myself, sorry!" - to lure in the unwary.

evergreen35 · 2020-02-20T14:50:47+00:00

If you are 50 or older, you are not my girl.

Mathiya · 2020-02-20T15:29:36+00:00

This prune will be writing a blog about why no manis willing to get involved with her, give it a month

thenotoriousdougie · 2020-02-20T16:17:31+00:00

You’re 50. You haven’t been a “girl” for decades. You barely still qualify as a “woman”.

ugluk1 · 2020-02-20T16:24:23+00:00

Selling STDs on Tinder, latest HIV strain.

NickTesla2018 · 2020-02-20T15:22:00+00:00

If you've got big titties but hit the wall with a list of demands, I'm not your guy.

MGTOW_BEASTMODE · 2020-02-20T16:26:45+00:00

"IM 50 WITH NICE TITS HERE ARE MY DEMANDS"

blakswan1976 · 2020-02-20T18:48:45+00:00

No chances of pregnancy, so no need for condoms, I think this is a good candidate for rawdog pump'n'dump, whenever any of the boyos feel like it, nothing more, nothing less.

Aldabruzzo · 2020-02-20T21:32:42+00:00

say whatever you want. She's attractive enough that someone will wife that up.

2020-02-20T19:31:21+00:00

yikes lady. shes 50 on tinder. LOL.

GSFleming · 2020-02-20T20:15:55+00:00

That's a whole lot of conditions just to get with someone's grandma.

Alpha_Black_Knight · 2020-02-20T15:47:05+00:00

You're 50 and have smashed the wall several times. You're definitely not my girl.

The_mightiest_punt · 2020-02-20T16:27:10+00:00

If you're 50... You're not my girl.

reinaldo866 · 2020-02-20T17:47:06+00:00

It could have been solved with a switch statement

switch (old_thot_requeriments): case 'no_job': no_date(); break; case 'no_house': no_date(); break; case 'anything': no_date(); break; default: no_date(); break;

SirKolbath · 2020-02-21T00:01:55+00:00

If you can't put a single thing you offer in your profile, I'm not your boy.

If you present only a list of entitled demands, I'm not your boy.

If your profile pic is so low-effort that you literally cropped your ex out of a couples pic, I'm not your boy.

If you insist on telling me all the reasons you're not going to be my girl, I'm not your boy.

meerita · 2020-02-20T16:29:40+00:00

girl having 50 years old, well, we know what problem she has.

Dorinus2 · 2020-02-20T18:03:48+00:00

How does she even dare to behave like this after she got ass raped by the wall.

If she won't MILF she is used goods at best. "Her guy" could easily get stacies half her age that will treat him way better.

She should learn her place

RRFdev · 2020-02-20T23:13:27+00:00

var marryher: Boolean

private var eligibility = old() || damaged() || alphaWidowed() || cheater() || singleMother() || sexPhobic() || leech() || stillThinkingOfChad()

if (!eligibility) marryher = false

11bNg · 2020-02-21T03:04:52+00:00

The bitch is 50yo let that shit go

vampyreking666 · 2020-02-21T03:11:57+00:00

The last time she was a “girl” she drank wine with Cleopatra

B_P_G · 2020-02-21T04:03:47+00:00

This stuff takes on a whole different meaning once you consider the fact that she's 50. I mean if you don't have a job and you're looking to date a 50 year old woman then you're more likely to be early-retired than some driftless bum. And if you live with your parents at that age then it's more likely that they moved in with you and you're taking care of them and keeping them out of a nursing home. She probably copied this stuff verbatim off of the Tinder profile of someone half her age.

2020-02-20T16:47:59+00:00

Wrap that shit in a if worth_it block

Gloval1 · 2020-02-20T20:33:56+00:00

I can solve this programming issue.

do {

NOTDATE;

} while( WOMEN=='Demanding, smug, and OLD' );

MasterThief34 · 2020-02-20T20:39:26+00:00

As a programmer, I'd recommend just using one if statement and OR everything together.

b_a_d_r0b0t · 2020-02-20T20:44:25+00:00

Probably because u r not a girl

Overkillengine · 2020-02-20T21:35:39+00:00

50

No point in reading any further even if the pic did not have you already swiping left out of revulsion.

dbfkf · 2020-02-21T00:42:12+00:00

Whatta catch...

newyearzz2020 · 2020-02-21T00:52:03+00:00

Her body count is in the stratosphere if she’s on tinder at 50 years old

Rottinghere · 2020-02-21T02:07:33+00:00

Wow. Those crow's feet have begun to fold in on themselves.

harharry · 2020-02-21T02:47:46+00:00

Not a girl. Period.

RyansPutter · 2020-02-21T02:54:20+00:00

To be fair, I'd look for those qualities in a girl. Although I hate it when people fill the "About Me" section of their profiles with this instead of you know, telling us about them.

down_vote_militia · 2020-02-21T04:06:25+00:00

No, no you're not....

PHUCK_THE_HIVE · 2020-02-21T04:12:41+00:00

Damn I'd love to be married with doing hookups without having to work because I live on my rich parent's house.

Guess she isn't my girl.

Fantastically_Inept · 2020-02-21T06:50:29+00:00

Well, I guess I'll hit her up when her majesty is done making her demands.

PhantasyBoy · 2020-02-21T08:45:50+00:00

This isn’t so bad, I mean at 50 she really doesn’t need someone who lives at home with their mum

MHGEyoutube · 2020-02-22T04:23:30+00:00

What 50 year old man is living with his parents? Does she really assume some 25 year old guy is gonna wife up a 50 year old?

bajanbiker47 · 2020-02-21T03:46:04+00:00

Her demands are longer than my grocery list 🚩

packo33 · 2020-02-21T23:39:24+00:00

Cyclomatic complexity too high

john_L27 · 2020-03-05T00:24:51+00:00

If you're looking for a young, hot, and fertile chick that hasn't been riding the CC for most of her life...

thetotalpackage7 · 2020-02-20T21:37:13+00:00

Ehhh, this ones not that bad. Her requests are not unreasonable and she is kind of attractive and not fat. Just because she is 50 doesn't mean she is an asshole.

Lameador · 2020-02-20T18:14:23+00:00

Sorry , but I think of her as a decent, a very decent profile. She has the age of her years, otherwise she’s not asking for Superman, she makes a welcome effort to groom and photograph herself favourably

If you’re 30 years old looking for the mother of your children, then you’re not the target. Nether the less , GILF can have a romantic life too

Sounds like the hidden (dollar store) gem of the sub

Title	So many conditional statements a programmer couldn't debug. If you....muh big fake boobies.
Author	goodmansaysfuckyou
Upvotes	212
Comments	123
Date	February 20, 2020 2:01 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/f6thio/so_many_conditional_statements_a_programmer/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/so-many-conditional-statements-a-programmer.341831 https://theredarchive.com/post/341831

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