How can I stop being bitter?

ASeaOfQuotes · 2021-07-03T14:09:57+00:00

Have you always felt bitter, or is this just recently after discovering FDS? I feel like a lot of new members as they start to truly absorb the information do a total 180 on their feelings. They go from that hopeful, almost naive attitude towards men, to being legitimately nauseous by the things they’ve overlooked.

That is part of the growing pains, and they do fade as you continue to absorb and start to strategize and compare your notes with real life. Keep in mind social media couples are not measures of relationships, they are curated content meant to sell you a specific version or narrative of something. And the same can be said for FDS, you are reading content aimed at delivering a specific message, and as you mold these ideas into your own ideas of relationships, love, desirable men, etc, you likely won’t agree with every single aspect of the conversation and that’s okay. The important thing is to learn. And learning isn’t always easy.

Now if you’ve always felt bitter towards relationships, or you have a really cynical attitude and see everyone as self serving, that may be a sign you need to consider therapy or self help content to reframe your thought process. It’s not normal to view the world that way, and it’s often an indication of past abuse, trauma, or other troubling things involved in your growth.

Either way, this bitterness is normal fresh into FDS. Keep reading. Look at the green flag posts too. Look at the men who are peripheral in your life, and how they treat women. Yes, you may find 3/4 are pretty LV, but if they all are you need to expand your circle.

Cat_With_The_Fur · 2021-07-03T17:30:41+00:00

I noticed a lot of your posts focus on men wanting you. When I re-framed it to, do I want them? And the answer is absolutely NO, it made me feel more empowered.

dancedancedance83 · 2021-07-03T21:39:29+00:00

A lot of those gushy, happy couples on Instagram actually aren't that happy. It's the ones you see seldomly or every once in a while that tend to have happier relationships. But even then, the truth is we all don't know what truly goes on behind closed doors, so you shouldn't be as quick to take things as face value.

I'd examine how you speak about yourself and feel about yourself. If you're saying to yourself "no one wants me," you'll be seeking out people and experiences that reinforce that belief about yourself. You just need to change how you feel about and envision yourself. No one is here to rescue you or save you from believing that about yourself. Only you can do that.

to_learn_to_fly · 2021-07-03T16:23:55+00:00

Social media is just a show. A lot of these girls have settled for the very dudes you wouldn't settle for.

Title	How can I stop being bitter?
Author	kittycakes22
Upvotes	84
Comments	6
Date	July 3, 2021 11:34 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/ocwdo8/how_can_i_stop_being_bitter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/how-can-i-stop-being-bitter.791692 https://theredarchive.com/post/791692

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