So I'm reading my side bar, lifting, shutting the fuck up, and generally going by the numbers. 16 yr marriage going pretty well, and I'm working on all the concepts I'm learning and accepting it's going to be a long process. The concept of dread is a new one to me, and it brings to mind a potential scenario: how do you deal with dread coming in YOUR direction? I know the simple answer is, don't enter her frame, don't acknowledge that it's even a possibility, and simply present yourself as he superior alternative. But real life is messy...to wit:

The old lady goes to a chiropractor/massage therapist every other week to work on her shoulder and IT bands, both of which get tendinitis from exercise use.

The masseur in question is a casual family friend from when our sons played basketball together. He is also a fucking monster. Like Lou Ferrigno/Arnold in the 80's monster. Probably 6'4/250 and yoked. Also single (divorced). I'm 6'2/200, so have generally not felt physically intimidated by other men, but of course there's always someone bigger. I have a naturally skinny build, much easier to cut than bulk, so getting much bigger than 200 probably isn't gonna happen. I generally aim for "big enough" and "ripped"

The potential for them to get up to shit behind my back has never bothered me, basically since I trust both of them, and it clear as day that jealousy and suspicion are very low quality traits to display, or even contemplate. If I maintain my own frame that I am a desirable mate, then the natural outcome is that she'll want me.

But still, the fact remains that this huge and fairly handsome dude is literally (platonically) manhandling my wife every couple weeks, and if that potential for trouble didn't enter my brain, I would consider that a failure in my own risk analysis.

Thoughts?