How Screwed am I? How to escape from hell?

Sepean · 2019-12-12T08:02:17+00:00

Read. The. Sidebar.

You seem to think your legal and financial situation is relevant to how your wife threats you. It isn't. Stop thinking like that. Your wife's treatment of you is a reflection of your alpha - it's about looks, confidence, being calm and unaffected by her shit, being cocky and dominant. All that stuff you can do if you're shit poor.

You're not in this jam because of your finances. It's your behavior. And your behavior can get you out of it, for free.

So read the sidebar, do what it says. As you improve, her attitude will follow, and over the coming (many) months you'll see attraction, love and respect return. With that, it won't matter what leverage she has.

So get to work.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2019-12-11T23:27:04+00:00

Let me guess. You don't make enough to pay for a gym membership, right.

BobbyPeru · 2019-12-12T00:18:39+00:00

Guy lives in his wife’s frame
Guy does everything his wife tells him willingly because he has no balls
Guy plays the victim card over all choices he made
Guy asks internet strangers how to get out of the shitty situation he got himself into.

Do you even lift?. Where are you on the sidebar?

Based on your post you haven’t done any work and want a quick bandaid fix for a complex situation.

Can’t help you there.

Start by doing some actual MRP work and quit digging your grave

UnbreakableFrame · 2019-12-12T00:35:15+00:00

Didn't have time to read the whole post, but threatening a spouse with deportation is actually illegal. Look at the laws around it, but my friend was in a similar situation and he was granted permanent residency in a case against his abusive wife who was doing the exact same thing as yours.

tap0988534 · 2019-12-11T23:29:05+00:00

Move to Thailand for a few years.

kundata · 2019-12-11T23:37:31+00:00

We've been married for 5 years.

Excuse 1: Who cares

We have a kid.

Excuse 2: So you're going to fuck your kid up?

Wife is stay at home.

Excuse 3: Stop funding her lifestyle that you don't want

I barely make enough to pay for the expensive rented apartment and the day to day stuff.

Excuse 4: Stop funding her lifestyle that you don't want

I can't afford a lawyer or the alimony or be able to keep paying for this expensive apartment for the wife if I have to move and she keeps the apartment.

Excuse 5: Stop funding the lifestyle that you don't want

but wife doesn't want to move. Her reason, that she can't live alone with me as I'm a terrible person and she needs to stay close to her parents.

Excuse 6: "I'm moving and not paying for this apartment, feel free to can stay if you figure out a way to pay for it"

Thats costing me an extra $600 in rent which I've been paying for nearly 2 years.

Excuse 7: See above

I'm studying on the side with my full time job but there isn't a chance of any income for a year or two.

Excuse 8: See above. Based on your other post 4 months ago you make 3k after taxes. That's not super great, but certainly doable.

I just go out for an hour but I have to come back and suffer again since I work from home and my woke station is in the home office.

Excuse 9: Work from a Starbucks

I can't do anything.

Excuse 10: Pfft, woe is me. Take your balls back and fix your life

I'm immigrant. She brought me here and constantly threatens to throw me out of the country.

Excuse 11: So what? What's the law say?

You're full of fucking excuses for being miserable - it's not your fault at all. What are your stats? What sidebar have you read?

Go talk to an immigration attorney and spend a few hundred to understand what exactly your legal standing is. And FFS - move to somewhere cheaper. You can't spend half your income on housing.

Tell her you're moving and you won't pay for it anymore. What's she going to do? Divorce you?

Perfectinmyeyes · 2019-12-12T12:14:56+00:00

I know where you are coming from but don't think it can't be worse... it can.

I see some issues... Your wife's at home with the kid and your trying to work from home. Not a good combination even in better circumstances. You guys are around each other too much, you are isolated ie different country and little or no friends.

Some people don't have a moral compass when it comes to abuse, they may think you/they deserve to be treated a certain way or the classic it's ok for them to be angry...

These guys gave you some good advice in regards to logistics ie seeing a lawyer and checking your options. Even if you don't care about red pill stuff, work on yourself, take care of your family as much as you can, work outside your home, and exit if it doesn't improve.

The only hell you will have is if 3+ years from now your still going through this and you stayed.

wkndatbernardus · 2019-12-12T05:56:14+00:00

Step 1: separate finances. Set up a new bank account, get your paycheck deposited there, transfer money from the joint account into the new one.

Step 2: stop paying the rent (get an eviction notice if need be). Move to a cheaper place together where you DON'T leave.

Step 3: wait for permanent residency after which you should file for divorce.

Step 4: start living your life with actual agency so that your child doesn't end up as an excuse factory like you.

RStonePT · 2019-12-12T13:21:05+00:00

Ima go on a limb here, bangladesh? IT for a 3rd party vendor like IBM who does IT for companies via contract?

Regardless, the advice is useless, you won't do any of it becuase you're afraid of your vengeful sunhat goddess.

Maybe buy more stuff and she will bring the rain for this years harvest, sacrifice some stuff for her.

Aditya77-scorpio · 2019-12-11T23:30:46+00:00

Are you a US citizen yet? Can she actually throw you out of the country?

NeoTheJuanDJ · 2019-12-15T20:40:33+00:00

First off, let’s start off with the title. “How screwed am I?”. You’re seeking validation from strangers on the internet that your predicament is in fact a predicament and that you have a right to be reactive (fear), that others have been where you are before, and that everything will be okay. You want this to be your testicular cancer meeting, and you will not get this here. Also, “How to escape from hell?”. Hell is a placeholder term for something unimaginably terrible to experience. That is just it: to experience. It is happening to you. You are admitting you have no control (in an area you should have control over).. You are admitting whatever you have no control over is causing you to react to life. This “hell” has control over you. Don’t let life happen to you, you happen to life. YOU, right now, are letting life happen to you. Don’t do that.

Moving on, Your wife is “abusing you” because she is reacting to the container you are placing her in (which is shitty - at best). She is reacting to your faggotry.

After reading what I just read, I can safely assume you have barely understood or internalized the sidebar (or at all). I, similar to others here, would suggest stfu, sidebar, and lift. Within the next coming months things will open up, you will begin to see (partially) why your wife is behaving this way, why you are getting these results in life, and how you can take control of the ship and steer it in a direction of your goals and vision.

Money is not the problem. If you guys stay together, you barely get by as it is. If you leave her, you will still struggle financially, anyways. Therefore, you’re struggling regardless. Therefore money is not the problem. The problem is the dynamic in your relationship. If you stay with her, why would you continue to struggle? Tell her to get a fuckin’ job (which would require taking control). If you leave, make sure you don’t do it out of a Rambo episode (you haven’t internalized the content, making an informed decision as a self actualized high value man).

django5001 · 2019-12-19T22:26:06+00:00

Stand up to her. Model that kind of behavior for your kid so that he doesn’t grow up thinking that he’s supposed to get shit on by his wife

kundata · 2019-12-12T04:52:40+00:00

[deleted]

SBIII · 2019-12-12T12:29:19+00:00

I feel really sorry for this poor woman. I mean, how fucking upset must she be?

She went to the trouble of importing a man from abroad to come over and pay for the lifestyle she wants - ie., stay at home, not earn any money - and what does she get?

A dude who can barely afford to pay the rent.

Then, when she's upset, he hides in his office, pretending to work. She has to practically kick the door down to get his attention and when she does, what does he do?

He records her on his phone and surveillance cameras.

I mean, all she really wants is to be told that everything is OK and then have the badness fucked out of her. But what does he do? Does he comfort her and then caveman her pussy into oblivion? No. He shuts down completely and acts like a fucking autistic child, then runs to internet strangers for help.

Now she'll probably have to return him to his country before the warranty expires and she's left stuck with him.

The poor gal.

Unlucky in Love.

ChokingDownRP · 2019-12-13T12:47:25+00:00

Wow, you're a pussy.

learning0007 · 2019-12-12T15:22:48+00:00

So do you feel better now that you've whined and gotten that off your chest, especially since your going to listen to absolutely nothing anyone says here. Why the fuck bother

Title	How Screwed am I? How to escape from hell?
Author	kundata
Upvotes	7
Comments	55
Date	December 11, 2019 11:21 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/e9f2zs/how_screwed_am_i_how_to_escape_from_hell/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/how-screwed-am-i-how-to-escape-from-hell.298864 https://theredarchive.com/post/298864

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