Thanks to everyone for the great advice in my first post. It's all really made me think. A lot. Anyway, I'm a little under a week in. Most of the way through NMMNG and reading lots of the sidebar. There's a lot to read.

To set up my question, about two weeks ago she came in the bedroom where I was working on a brief due the next day, and she said "are you going to put the boys to bed??" And then walked back out. So of course I jumped up and did it.

I'm clear on the fact that I shouldn't have responded that way. My questions:

  1. That was a sh!t test that I completely failed, right?

  2. When it happens again, should I refuse ("No, I'm working.")? Or tell her to ask me again nicely ("Try using please and thank you")? Or just ignore it?

  3. And if I ultimately don't do it, won't a massive fight immediately ensue? I get it that my fear of this fight is the problem, but don't I need to be prepared for the massive fight too?

Thanks.