On the fence

Trtntrenbrah · 2018-06-22T15:45:02+00:00

What’s there to save here realistically?

You have no kids.

Cut your losses and move on.

Divorce at this stage is a cakewalk

Do you really want to complicate shit further when children are involved.

Being distant. Lack of sex, threatening divorce.

What’s the dudes name ?

matrixtospartanatLV · 2018-06-22T19:05:03+00:00

I’ve only been here a year, but I do believe you are the first to ever say you STARTED a marriage being RP.

THAT’S FUCKING AWESOME!!

Oh, wait, this isn’t an FR about an RP marriage...

Damn..

You fell off the RP horse.

You lost your shit in a big blow-up.

Then there’s the yard sale debacle.

Of course, the best time to confront anyone about their attitude is when they are grieving.

YOU moved out of the marital bedroom. Why? Are YOU guilty of something?

You’re not sure you are right for each other. There are no kids, and you can envision life without her.

Your 3 issues are her lack of respect, lack of desire for sex, and she places others, like family, above your marriage.

Well, you are the poster boy for who MRP was written for!

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!?!

Go over to the sidebar, you remember where it is, right?, and find the 12 levels of dread and ...

START RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

Seriously, just do it. Be like Nike.

In less than 12 months you will be getting laid like tile.

Maybe the wife.

Probably someone else.

But DEFINITELY somebody.

Early in your journey, see some attorneys and get your shit straightened out about the house and other assets. Start building your warchest and be ready to divorce her.

You are the IDEAL candidate for MRP.

It would be awesome if you would post an FR every month or two detailing exactly how well this is working for you.

One caveat; you spill your seed in her and get her pregnant then..

ALL BETS ARE OFF.

You will deserve to get fucked without getting laid.

You will deserve to lose the house.

You will deserve to lose 40% of your gross while she fucks other men in your bed while raising your children to hate you.

You will deserve to be a financial cuck to her and the State for the next 19 years.

Don’t be a cuck.

Don’t be stupid.

ABCBC

ALWAYS BE in CHARGE of the BIRTH CONTROL.

Now, stop reading this, and...

START READING THAT!! >>>>>>>>>>

You’re welcome.

straius · 2018-06-22T16:31:49+00:00

If she's off the pill, DO NOT GET HER PREGNANT.

Then you'll see what a messy divorce really could look like. The house is not that big a deal, you can deal with whatever you need to deal with. The fear of loss is worse than whatever results with the house.

You are far better off making decisions from a place of strength and happiness. Don't make decisions while you are resentful, angry, etc... They are the birth place of regrets.

Get to a place where you're happy with the man you are and the decision will not be difficult to make (what you want and need to do will make itself known to you) and your conditions may be such at that point you no longer feel the need to make a decision to leave.

Right now you are focused on fault, but you have to get past that if you will ever clear your head.

MrChad_Thundercock · 2018-06-22T14:41:32+00:00

“my only issues are lack of respect, lack of sex, and she puts others like her family over us.”

Welcome to the club. ====>

RedPillCoach · 2018-06-22T19:35:37+00:00

I’m ready to move on and become the person I was before we were married that was more selfish and goal orientated.

Great! You can be that while married or after you are done being married. Your choice. You say you want to "try" because of your vows and I think that is great. Then maybe you need to try and stop watching the clock? This process takes at least a year and there are few shortcuts that are in your control. Sure you can juice and take your T Shots and build muscle quicker but you still have to go to the gym. Sure you might have a wife who responds better, or worse but you still have to follow the process.

anyone else go through anything like this?

That is rich. Funny even. At least you know you have found the right place.

Her relative died and she is more distant and cold than usual. I confront her about it and she said that she doesn’t have any more to give. I say that if you want to leave that’s fine with me

I think a better response might have been a light A and A: "OK, you can take from me for a while sweetheart, but don't make a habit out of it." You escalated it right into separation and divorce talk at exactly the wrong moment. IMHO.

InChargeMan · 2018-06-22T16:48:41+00:00

No kids = dating with slightly more paperwork. That's it.

Yes, divorce can get a little complicated, yes you might lose some assets, no big deal. You have lots of time to make more money.

This isn't me advocating for divorce, by the way, just reminding you to treat her like a slightly more committed girlfriend and act accordingly. Divorce at this stage is going to be pretty quick and painless.

Whatever you do, do not get her pregnant. In-fact, don't even hint that you are interested, tell her you don't want kids ever. At this point she should be qualifying herself to you, showing you why she is worth it to impregnate. The fact that this isn't happening is highly concerning. Usually the fisherman doesn't start reeling the fish in until after the fish takes the bait. i.e. the average noob post here is pretty much identical to yours except it is after kids.

Mouseman225 · 2018-06-22T14:54:10+00:00

I was at this point in my marriage. She was growing distant, we didn't connect or enjoy doing things with each other, and sex or the desire for sex dried up. I tried to talk through it, be a better partner, but in the end I don't think we were ever right for her. I would have been willing to make it work because I was raised that marriage was sacred, but she made it clear that she doesn't hold it in the same regard when I found her at someone else's house at 2am, which is funny because she's the one who pushed for a wedding. Long story short, I don't know you guys, but it sounds like you may not be right for each other even if you really wish you were. On the upshot, I've really found out a lot about myself since then and I'm much happier as a person, and I've recently found a relationship that I'm genuinely enjoying, not one where I'm planning "when we're this happy, I'll ask her to move in, when this happens, I'll ask her to marry me." If that makes sense. I was handling relationships the way I was taught you're "supposed to" but the relationship I'm in now, I just love everything about it and just want more of it.

johneyapocalypse · 2018-06-22T16:00:23+00:00

Fuck your vows. Or...

Outcome: Be unhappy, unfulfilled, bored, lonely, perhaps depressed for the next 30, 40, 50 years, because you...
Action: Honored your vows.

Of course a divorce is messy. So is dog shit on the floor. Clean up afterwards. Even better, prepare properly before.

Of note, you're only two years into this mistake, and she's already (1) fat, (2) saying she doesn't have more to give, and (3) saying it's not going to work.

I’m ready to move on and become the person I was before we were married that was more selfish and goal orientated.

Go forward young man. Be that guy again.

Unless of course you're just being dramatic and blaming it all on your fat wife.

Side bar vs. divorce.

Your choice.

Captain_pants4 · 2018-06-22T18:07:21+00:00

You said a few things that gave me the impression that the underlying issue is the fact that she can’t rely on you emotionally to weather he storms. Shit happens in life and your woman will not be able to handle it nearly as well as you do, and she doesn’t want to. Just be a calm emotional rock. If she’s still disrespectful then cut her loose. On a side note, most women will be on their best behavior until she has a baby in her belly. Everyone is right...divorce would be as painless as it can possibly be at this point

ChokingDownRP · 2018-06-22T15:46:03+00:00

The stay plan = the go plan. Work on yourself, she'll epithet come along for the ride and seek to please you, or you'll be a better man and better positioned to find a woman (or many women) who will sell to please you. Either way, your life will be better. Lift. Read. This shit works!!

plein_old · 2018-06-22T18:45:49+00:00

Being unhappy doesn't benefit anyone. How do you know you were more selfish before marriage? And why is the go plan is different from the stay plan?

Some men think that being miserable sitting around holding their angry wife's hand all the time is doing a tremendous favor to the wife. But what if it isn't?

screechhater · 2018-06-22T21:39:09+00:00

On the fence about what ?

Wholly shit grow a set and decide what you want

How long are you going to let another person be the tail and wag you emotionally ? Or, manipulate you ? Why on earth would you sign over a brokerage account you started before the relationship ?

You did not start RP, you may have had a mission, but you are so afraid of her, and her emotions, you have definitely lost your way

sockaccountant97 · 2018-06-22T22:59:36+00:00

Thanks, I really appreciate it. I owe you one. Forward progress no matter what. I’ll update you in a month

SharpestMarbel · 2018-06-23T16:17:16+00:00

"... my only issues respect, no sex, and not important to her at all." What an understatement... What other issues are more important?

The house is no reason to stick around at all.... Just sell it or have her buy out your equity. Make sure alimony is not an issue.

Honestly it doesn't sound like you really applied many MRP steps to bettering yourself and by default her. What dread level are you on?

redpillrobert · 2018-06-25T07:11:04+00:00

I want to make it work because of our vows

but i say unto thee, swear not at all

how the fuck can past you make decisions for future you when future you has more information to work from

Rian_Stone · 2018-06-22T14:54:24+00:00

You're not the kind of man to make this decision

Instead of kicking the can down the road, deal with your shut, then let THAT NEW HIGH VALUE Man decide.

youscum · 2018-06-22T14:58:48+00:00

had anyone else experienced anything like this?

Yes. Your woman is not unique.

Lack of sex ✔

Lack of respect ✔

Puts others before you✔

Welcome home, faggot. Now get to work.

Title	On the fence
Author	sockaccountant97
Upvotes	3
Comments	65
Date	June 22, 2018 2:34 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8t1sqs/on_the_fence/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/on-the-fence.204306 https://theredarchive.com/post/204306

Comments