Questions about my frame.

PoohTao · 2023-08-23T15:01:27+00:00

Dude you’re with a 23F and it’s already dead bedroom… if you’re gonna pick money over everything else and not dump her then do yourself a favor and just accept it won’t get better.

She’s 23 man… you really think things will be different and she’ll wanna fuck you in 10 years when she’s older and taking care of your kids?

It kills me to see YOUNG unmarried dudes tolerate a dead bedroom and still consider marrying the girl as if it’s going to get better with a more complicated future life. Such a mentalities will always remain in her frame…

Responsible_Sun_7466 · 2023-08-23T12:13:24+00:00

That was a lot of hamstering and covert contracts to unpack. Your frame sucks!

try LTR for the personal belief that I think it is a better to have children in that type of situation [...] I won't break up with her; no need to explain, but there are indeed a lot of perks to being with a girl with rich parents

It sounds like your goal is to get children. Then later it sounds like your goal is to marry rich, even if she won't have sex with you. Good luck getting kids if she won't fuck you.

I have now a super high paying job [...] If I had tons of money, I wouldn't even be with her, as I would rather opt for surugacy to have children

It's not us you are lying to, it's yourself. Either you have a super high paying job and a surrogacy is no problem, or you don't.

I can way more easily just jump the boat and have sex with multiple different women [...] opt for surugacy

You do know that women can help you make babies right? Which one is it?

And since I have met her, I have only improved everything about myself

Covert contract.

fed up with doing shit I didn't want to do with the expectation that we were going to fuck

Covert contract.

Her: "We can't have sex" (Bull excuse)..

Shit test that you failed.

Her Trying to convince me it's not her fault, excuse this and that.

She is right, it is your fault. Attraction is not negotiable and involuntary, and you are entitled and fat.

You want a hug? then blow me.

Covert contract.

You want me to come with your family? then blow me.

Covert contract.

You need to read the sidebar, start with NMMNG and fix your covert contracts. And please for the love of God, STFU, you are driving 80 mph in the wrong direction. If you want to break up with her, go ahead and do so without trying to get us to help you rationalize your decision, but be aware that this too is a covert contract and it won't get her to fuck you.

mabden · 2023-08-23T14:54:37+00:00

"I believe this is a strong frame if the intention is for her to break up with me."

Just breaking up with her (instead of being such a dick that she breaks up with you) would be a stronger frame.

_RPeed · 2023-08-23T11:08:43+00:00

Statistically one of the many women waiting to fuck you must be rich too.

Why not be with her?

Jallyn24 · 2023-08-23T13:28:36+00:00

Sounds like a lot of effort for just a girlfriend. Why would you want to marry her and have kids with her? Plus, you’re only 27.

Wild-Cheesecake-6465 · 2023-08-23T15:47:41+00:00

I’m 44 and no sexy times in my marriage myself. I’m frustrated as fuck like you, so why do I stay with my wife instead of leaving her? Because I need to fix my own mess and man up before I would wanna start my mess allover again and repeat that shit with another woman. Might as well change myself first before I decide if I wanna switch wife or if she is worth keeping.

ObjectionTrue · 2023-08-23T16:38:56+00:00

If you're living on her dime, then you're living in her frame. Money from others rarely comes without strings . . .

Kitchen_Resource2656 · 2023-08-23T11:49:09+00:00

What is your initiation like? I say this because I was in a similar boat. I got lax and was being boring in the bedroom on top of slacking some in the gym.

Needless to say I stopped being a bitch and started just taking what I wanted and not approaching sex like it's barting a fucking trade deal lol.

redwall92 · 2023-08-23T13:21:50+00:00

Sounds like you fast-forwaded to the last chapter of Athol Kay's book - "fuck you or fuck me."

Pretty sure that chapter lays out the plan and what some possible outcomes are. Let us know how it works.

dmk078 · 2023-08-23T15:11:26+00:00

Sounds like you are in the anger/rambo stage which means you are still in her frame. She sleeping like a baby and your hamster is running full throttle. If you next her you will still have the same problem in the future. Also there are so many covert contacts in that post I don’t know where to start. The one that stood out the most was you did shit you didn’t want to do with an expectation that you would fuck. That is a textbook covert contract you need to read NMMNG like yesterday. Listen to yourself you are in the south of Spain on someone else’s dime. If you had an once frame or outcome independence you wouldn’t give a fuck about what she is doing or if your fucking her. You would say fuck it I’m going to have a good time regardless of weather we fuck at the end of the night. You can’t fake that shit she will smell it a mile away which is probably why she doesn’t fuck you now. She can sense the covert contacts and probably isn’t attracted to you.
To give you an example of frame you said I’m not going to do what she wants so if she asks for a hug I will tell her to blow me. Most likely she will tell you no and you will lose frame and be pissed the rest of the day and write a Reddit post asking why it didn’t work. If you had frame when she told you no you would laugh give her a hug anyway and tell her that’s alright I know it makes your jaw hurt when you suck on my huge cock and we wouldn’t want that. Then go have a good time and enjoy your vacation. Also if you truly don’t want to do something just don’t if she gets mad that’s on her what’s the worst that could happen she wont fuck you that’s already not happening.

re0st92mg · 2023-08-23T16:40:47+00:00

never truly understood frame

Frame is just doing what's in your best interest and not allowing other things to get you to act against that (no longer in your own frame).

Some things that can cause this:

Fear of judgement
"nice guy" conditioning from your upbringing
Manipulation
What society tells you is right/wrong

So the way to find your frame is to learn how to stand up to and disregard those things. Once you're able to do that, you will consistently act in your own best interest. Then you'll be in your own frame.

JediKrys · 2023-08-23T13:32:42+00:00

Sounds like she just isn’t into you sexually anymore. Something must have happened for her to turn off but she’s on autopilot now.

Neville_Neville · 2023-08-23T15:29:42+00:00

I was/am fat because of my university thesis

Was it an experimental design where you eating a lot of donuts was part of it?

james-the-professor · 2023-08-24T01:05:05+00:00

You have no frame.

Everything you do is calculated with a woman at the center of your universe.

You are also a coward for not breaking up with her and behaving poorly so she will break up with you - because although "you don't care", it's painfully obvious you do.

You're immature with rigid thinking: "I'm only going to give a long term relationship a try once". GTFO with that bullshit. We all know it's not true.

You think a 6 pack makes you "Alpha" ... You're delusional.

Frame is what happens when you get out of your head and you live your life for you.

Frame is when you have standards and boundaries and you END RELATIONSHIPS that are not working for you - not when you play power games and head games to manipulate a women who doesn't want to fuck you, to fuck you.

nikfury69 · 2023-08-24T15:27:54+00:00

Her family. Her money. Her rules. Her frame. Her, her, her...

She's in charge and she knows it.

What's left to figure out?

Praexology · 2023-08-23T18:28:06+00:00

Asking for more sex (You cant negotiate attration).

Sex does not necessitate attraction, but I can speciate wanting to have enthusiastic sex. "Negotiating attraction" is an idea to stop men from attempting to debate their LTRs into being attracted to them. It is a fruitless endeavor, but you can certainly still initiate.

Hence:

Trying to logically justify my decisions (talking with women is pointless; just state what you want and STFU, and make her STFU or just leave the room)

from having a six pack (Alpha)

If your mental is screwed up, physical attractiveness only works as a short term strategy to source sex. In the same way men get annoyed and bored after a time with gorgeous women, women get bored and annoyed with attractive men.

Now to all of you, I won't break up with her;

Now my goal is to either give me sex or break up with me (I don't care

As long as you accept that you are parasitizing and mooching off her no problem, but it is pretty lame.

I feel that, but I am unsure why.

Having a strong frame is only one part to being attractive. The other part is actually being socially desireable.

A strong frame is enough to keep a bored woman in the home, but is insufficient to keep her aroused.

Aubrey_D_Graham · 2023-08-24T03:59:39+00:00

When any woman says no, it's because she thinks you're a fuckwit. You don't get the sex you want, so you then proceed to double down and be a fuckwit. Continue bro, I'm sure she'll fuck you eventually.

Stop focusing on sex when you're dependant on your girlfriend's daddy money. Of course she thinks you're a fuckwit.

mdjfodiepcklrn2 · 2023-08-24T05:16:50+00:00

You’re not angry at her, you’re angry at yourself. If you were high value you’d leave or just ignore her nonsense. You’re angry because she’s the best you can get right now and you know that you’re losing her.

I get it, it sucks. But this is your hard look in the mirror. You always have to ask, “if I was this woman, with the potential suitors and one night stands that she has, would I want to commit to me?”

I had to be brutally honest with myself and say no, I wouldn’t. Which means I need to follow my MAP. Usually, if you’re in a LTR, the girl really liked you at one point and probably saw you two getting married. For that to change, usually the guy either let themselves go or make mistakes. The girl can as well, but we’re focusing on ourselves here.

I was high value early in my relationship. I didn’t get jealous and angry because I had zero fear of losing her, while she feared losing me. Why? Because I had many options. I knew that I brought a lot to the table and that I could date someone else if she acted up enough. I am no longer that guy, so I’m no longer getting wild sex on demand like that guy did.

All I can control is me and same goes for you. You have to continuously be worth not letting that guy at work take her out, not letting that guy at the club take her home, and not letting her simps/orbiters have a shot. This is very difficult to fake - you have to genuinely believe that you’re awesome enough that you know you could get another great woman.

For now, stfu, follow map, and stay positive. Cool off on the pressure for sex and focus on initiating passion here and there. Be less available, focus on yourself.

Remington-Holmes · 2023-08-24T14:50:46+00:00

Masses of covert contracts and rationalisations. The other chaps have already called you out on much of the bullshit. "I'm fat because of my thesis" Seriously? I guess your thesis locked you up, and force fed you with junk food? The only times that I have added any fat is when I HAVE BEEN EATING TOO MUCH PROCESSED FOOD AND I HAVE CHOSEN TO BE SEDENTARY.

Consider that and apply it to everything in your life.

By your own admission you are fat, everyone can see that you're loaded with covert contracts, you have been negotiating sex, despite knowing that is pointless, and you appear to be living off that woman.

You mention 'Alpha'. You will be alpha when plenty of women are making themselves available for you to bang. Currently it sounds like you're fat, so that doesn't help, and your mindset is seriously unattractive. You sound like spoiled frustrated child. You have no abundance mentality whether that relates to money or women. You demonstrate no Outcome Independence.

Seriously, read your original post. Do you sound like an attractive adult?

Title	Questions about my frame.
Author	DECRYPT_ERROR
Upvotes	1
Comments	42
Date	August 23, 2023 10:54 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/15z0emw/questions_about_my_frame/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/questions-about-my-frame.1229495 https://theredarchive.com/post/1229495

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