Couldn't do it. Couldn't get over gf's sexual past.

raisins3142 · 2017-01-17T02:52:56+00:00

Dude, if she is a party girl that admits to 20, then it is probably higher.

Also, having an ex over at night alone is a huge no-non in a LTR. You were right to end it then.

Did she recognize how dumb and disrespectful that was to you?

If you are mid to late 20s and have a notch count under 10, then you will be freaked out like this by all chicks.

I'd date casually and get my notch count up and spin plates and then maybe one day upgrade one.

failingtheturingtest · 2017-01-17T03:18:01+00:00

Well done

It had to be said. You write like someone who's still having a hard time swallowing the pill, but you acted on point at every description. That's how you build your strength. You face challenges, you do what it takes even if you don't like it (and know the outcome).

Yes, the promiscuity of women can be an uncomfortable truth. "I know how I'll get over it... by having some fun" was her doing you a favour. She has in her last moment with you, shown you who she really is. Someone who can write off all the time, energy and commitment you gave her in one moment to make her feel powerful.

Asking for a one way open relationship is really such a strong move to see if you can get an unfavourable LTR to a place you're more comfortable with. Well done for giving it a shot.

You did everything you could, and this is really the best result you could get out of an LTR with someone who can flip to "I know how I'll get over it... by having some fun" so easily.

2comment · 2017-01-17T06:37:33+00:00

What's worse is even if I move on and find another girl... chances are she'll have a past too and if I can't get over it I'll be stuck in a cycle like this.... fucking don't know what to do.

Friend, you are your own soulmate, you will not find solace in another. That is the great mirage offered by the blue pill, this "significant other", with whom you will share your life, confidences, hopes and dreams with, this she does not exist.

We live in times of abundance, in everything, except quality women, that's been going downhill for decades and is a race to the bottom. I suggest not chasing that in a thankless marathon. However, there are multiple ways to approach that conundrum, and you can search TRP for your path.

But you need this pain right now to emotionally grow as a man. And it will take time on top of that. You just had your first real relationship, and instead of reading abstractly about it, you learned firsthand the true nature of women:

"I know how I'll get over it... by having some fun"

Just be glad you weren't married 7 years, owned a house together, and had 2 kids, when she met her rekindled guy friend and would say those words or something like it. And don't hamster it as an innocent meeting, nothing like that is, that's her weighing her options even if you think nothing happened. Listen to your gut, it's steering you right.

Us older guys have already seen many of our friends get married and go down in flames. Losing homes, having to support a broken family financially with NONE of the benefits. You've been lucky this time.

You tried to convert a ho into a housewife. Once they're over that fence, there is no reeling them back. That was your mistake, not the jealousy. Jealousy is instilled within us for an evolutionary reason, it's not some original sin you need to absolve -- except according to stupid feministas.

Dwell on the pain for a bit, explore and get to know it till you reached the end. Then do something else.

Lucius-Cincinnatus · 2017-01-18T02:47:10+00:00

Many many years ago I had a LTR with a beautiful 18 year old girl. Great body, great face and we got along pretty well.

After dating her for about 3 months she told me some things about herself that I could not accept in a girlfriend. 20+ N-count at 18 years old, been spit roasted, fucked a black guy.

When she told me it was like 2:00am at my place downtown, we had been drinking and she lived like 40 minutes away, so I kept my composure. The next morning I told her this wasn't going to work out and to GTFO.

At this point I would only upgrade a girl to LTR if she had an N-count under 5. Such girls don't exist. Ergo, I don't plan on ever getting into another LTR.

awayofthought · 2017-01-17T04:34:13+00:00

Basically you got yourself into a LTR with a slut, even though you knew she was a slut.

This is one of the dangers of plate spinning, or plate spinning without experience. "She was so cool omg" usually leads to 1-2 years of wasted time.

Here is some advice: learn to respect yourself before even considering an LTR with a girl that had more the ten cocks up her vagina.

450k_crackparty · 2017-01-17T12:06:31+00:00

The part about her dropping that line about having fun... woman can be infinitely, almost comically cold when it comes to breakups. The shit that comes out of their mouths will leave you wondering if they were secretly a serial killer the entire time. They can turn their empathy off like a switch if it suits them.

Schhwing · 2017-01-17T09:57:35+00:00

When she called you over again to end it, that was just a massive power play to crush you. Because she couldn't handle you dictating terms.

HookersAndBlow4ME · 2017-01-17T02:02:19+00:00

Try 60-100

bowie747 · 2017-01-17T07:27:42+00:00

That's what always hurt me the most. After breaking up with a girl I loved she would just go "have some fun" and forget me within the week.

That's when I came here.

ggyujjbi · 2017-01-17T09:41:32+00:00

You won't ever get over it. It doesn't matter if it's 20 or the number is less than yours - I know this feeling - and it will creep up on you and afflict you for the rest of your days in relationships. The best you can do is minimize the effect it has on you and your relationship. But the feeling will never truly go away.

quicklogaccount · 2017-01-17T10:03:18+00:00

I know how I'll get over it... by having some fun

She is right. It works for you too.

Dude, you were not designed to be monogamous. The biggest possible fulfillment you can get from your dick comes from spinning plates. AMALT.
What makes LTRs different is that the bonding opens other sources of joy, and we naively allow the relationship to grow out of proportion.
(there are reasons behind this) LTRs grow big enough to "fill the hollow" for a while, but they can't sustain that size for too long and trying to keep them like that inevitably leads to frustration.
If you let them shrink back to the fair and sustainable, you'll see that the sexual fulfillment they provide loses to spinning plates, and that your partner has to be way too good for you to leave polygamy behind.

Well, your insecurity will fade as you get experience. Fuck around a bit. Should you get to know a cc ridden girl that is good enough for an LTR, it will bother you less.
It is highly likely your ex wasn't great and it was just scarcity mentality getting you to hamster it.

super_hater · 2017-01-17T02:53:45+00:00

This is reality. Unfortunately young women these days think getting railed by 20+ guys is actually a "low" number. Just keep seeing and fuck more women. Your mindset will naturally change as you adapt an abudance mentality.

LewisCross · 2017-01-17T15:24:09+00:00

She then made the mistake of seeing one of her guy friends (also her ex from 6-7 years ago) at her place at night alone, and despite wanting to stick with her, this was too much for me.

See this is why the past is so important. Because it informs the present. She let her past dictate her present. Instead of staying away from her past and not letting it define her, she went back to her past to indulge herself in it.

It's not the past that was your problem with her. It's the present. It's what she did now. It's who she is now.

ecosci · 2017-01-17T04:41:27+00:00

Mega whore run away fast.

The__Tren__Train · 2017-01-17T06:54:39+00:00

welcome to the red pill LOL

oldredder · 2017-01-17T11:29:24+00:00

advice: most women are whores now who fucked at least 10-20 guys. My last serious GF of 2 years fucked 30.

That's NORMAL now.

You either accept it or you walk away forever.

Willow-girl · 2017-01-17T14:26:05+00:00

The worst part about it is when I saw her, she said "I know how I'll get over it... by having some fun"...

Best way to get over a guy is to get under a guy.

BusterVadge · 2017-01-17T15:34:43+00:00

Hos do what hos do, my friend... Just leave it at that. Now ghost her, block her on all social media and communication. It's really the only way to move on.

"I know how I'll get over it... by having some fun"

That was meant to hurt you. Looks like it worked, but I bet you will be over it in no time.

She then made the mistake of seeing one of her guy friends (also her ex from 6-7 years ago) at her place at night alone, and despite wanting to stick with her, this was too much for me. I'm certain she didn't cheat but it was crossing my boundary so I walked out hoping I wouldn't hear back.

You did the right thing.

One thing I notice about the tone of your post is that it reeks a little of one-itis. You will overcome this... You have to. And you will.

I think you said it correctly yourself when you mentioned not having enough abundance, you really do have to cultivate that belief and act on it.

0kool74 · 2017-01-17T17:33:43+00:00

and didn't lose my v-card till 25

OUCH! Yeah.....the longer you have that V card, the harder the reality shovel is gonna hit you.

and I'd just leave after having a bit of fun but we got along too well

Hmmmm...........correlation between crazy psycho sex and getting along too well anyone? Bueller?? Bueller???

and I was taking the sloppy seconds and committing to it

Yeah it kinda curdles your stomach like a bowl of bad borscht.

I'm certain she didn't cheat but it was crossing my boundary so I walked out hoping I wouldn't hear back

Are you sure about that, or are you just trying to convince us? LMAO

I told her the only way I'd continue seeing her was a one-way open relationship

Ok I was pretty much going along with you right up until this point. So she rode the CC before meeting you and you're so put off by that that you want to screw other girls while you're with her????? REALLY???

don't blame her but I feel like crap especially since we got along so well

Yeah you should definitely feel like crap on that one.

What's worse is even if I move on and find another girl... chances are she'll have a past too and if I can't get over it I'll be stuck in a cycle like this.... fucking don't know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated... really feeling shit atm.

Your value, life, validation, even the fibre of your being is caught up in your own sexual success and the sexual history of someone you wish as a suitor. You won't get ahead at all until you shake that bag of bricks off and develop a life of YOU.....and not a life of the past.

Wallace68LeMay · 2017-01-17T19:57:45+00:00

Stay the course brah. No contact whatsoever, delete and block everything.

Nyquil-Junkie · 2017-01-19T02:47:32+00:00

Many yrs form now you'll look back and say "damn.... I really blew that one."

301niko · 2017-01-17T02:02:59+00:00

M G T O W

Title	Couldn't do it. Couldn't get over gf's sexual past.
Author	trpppp123
Upvotes	23
Comments	96
Date	January 17, 2017 1:42 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5of3if/couldnt_do_it_couldnt_get_over_gfs_sexual_past/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/couldnt-do-it-couldnt-get-over-gfs-sexual-past.80914 https://theredarchive.com/post/80914

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