Ill try to make this short and sweet. My dad is an alpha but also a selfish dick. Ive been hospitalized and near death (no joke) 3 times each time my mother past girlfriends or a friend drove me to the hospital my father always said "he'll be fine" and never gave shit, last year I had an embolism and was hospitalized and about 2-3 hours away from death due to calcified arteries and a moving clot. Like clock work he doesnt call or ask how im doing. This year he was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and is about to die. I didnt show up at the hospital. My family says im being petty but all my dad does with me is fish for my sympathy when he never gave me any when I was in his situation. He said he is disgusted with my actions (I havent done or said anything simply ignored his requests) and that I could play ball and be a good son or be disinherited. I chose self respect and said no amount of money is worth sacrificing my self respect especially to someone who doesnt care about me. My dad told me the day he kicked me out at 19 and 3 months after he divorced my mom "I want to start my life without my kids" No warning. I feel like I may regret standing my ground and losing a TON of money but is it really worth it? I feel like my mental well being is far more important. Help!

Update: thanks for the advice everyone, I went to see him this morning. He turned me showing up into some sort of "victory" on his part I told him flat out im here to attempt to mend things I dont care about the money. I told him my thoughts on the 3 times I was near death and he wasnt there and said its hypocritical to expect special treatment when your going through the same thing, even now with him its just about his ego and winning. I wanted an apology before I could say "I forgive you" I went to show everyone here and in my family im above being petty and just wanted to state how I felt but like always it just turned into well you showed up on my terms and frame so I win you lose with him. So I left. I now no longer feel regret im pretty much alone family wise but ive learned alot from this and my dad and I feel stronger for not sacrificing my self respect but atleast trying to offer my hand out in friendship and forgiveness.