How do I stop thinking about a girl without having an abundance of other girls?

Justanotherredditt · 2019-04-28T14:40:00+00:00

Get busy with other shit. Invest in yourself

FereallyRed · 2019-04-28T16:30:01+00:00

Answer is in your title.

Spend time and energy getting an abundance rather than wasting your time and energy on a oneitus.

Alternatively, take your shot at the hottie. You'll find out one way or the other really quick.

What I'm saying is pull your thumb out of your ass and do something.

JSuma · 2019-04-28T18:43:43+00:00

Reflection without action is the road to depression. I’m going through the same shit rn. Stay occupied and stay horny and we’ll have new girls in no time, it’s no different than the first time we felt this way.

EvanPetersDouble · 2019-04-28T18:11:35+00:00

Have an abundance of other girls.

resnine · 2019-04-28T14:43:46+00:00

You mean the ultimate question of "how do I have abundance mentality when I don't actually have abundance?"

middobbo · 2019-04-28T14:39:16+00:00

Every time you catch yourself thinking about her, imagine her taking a really loose, absolute stinking shit.

letmereadthatshit · 2019-04-28T22:11:19+00:00

Put this in your mind you re in this world in the end no one cares about you and you shouldn't care about nobody else either work on yourself make money build a nice lifestyle build a Greek god body after you become a top 10 man everybody will wanna be a part of your life .work and focus on yourself and everything will be ok

ogkushinjapan · 2019-04-28T17:56:27+00:00

She’s prob only a 9 in your head. Most likely just a 7 irl

319Skew · 2019-04-28T18:14:54+00:00

It's easy to fall into a pit when your head is in the clouds.

When you game only one girl, you start to double down on the way she makes you feel and you forget that :

It's just your turn

AWALT

She's had other guys and will have others

You forget your purpose (hint : it's not her)

You start to idolize her strength and ignore falts

uptimex · 2019-04-28T20:01:59+00:00

It is not abundance if you don't have another 9.5 to spin plates yet.

wobbleelbbow · 2019-04-28T17:34:34+00:00

Convince yourself that you are irresistible to women. Or in other words, fake it till you make it. Stop being sad, be awesome. Hit the gym. Read sidebar. In time you will stop giving a fuck.

fuckrbrasilmods · 2019-04-28T17:36:05+00:00

Simply persist on a day to day basis. Attraction subsides. You have to deconstruct her image a little bit: is she really a 9.5? How will she look in 10 years?

dm222 · 2019-04-28T19:44:47+00:00

cut her out of you life completly, that helped me, but it took 6 months to completly forget her, like pass weeks without thinking about her...

and now not only I dont miss her, as I realize how dumb I was...

but 4 years later I developed oenitis for another girl, very similar situation, and thats why I was red pilled...

fartingaround · 2019-04-28T21:32:27+00:00

Dont chase em replace em. The only over one is on top of another

SlappaDaBayssMon · 2019-04-28T22:33:02+00:00

Just read your edit.

Dude you're a teenager, you're smitten.

I actually don't know what advice to give you other than you've just gotta go through it.

"Abundance" for almost all of us is learned the hard way. One day it just clicks and you find yourself no longer upset by flakes and rejection, you know there's always other girls out there, and that you have something to offer them.

I know young guys hate hearing this from us older dudes, but you'll learn as you get older.

Good news is you're here now, and not just finding this shit when you're 30.

Just let yourself like the girl. If it doesn't work, let it suck.

Then go get after another one.

Flintblood · 2019-04-28T23:58:03+00:00

Abundance mentality doesn’t require actual present abundance. It comes from internalizing; it comes from within. Past success helps builds that, but you don’t need a double digit roster of plates to have faith in your belief that one girl will not make or break your world.

Enjoy the moments while they last. Experience should teach you that these moments, your turn, is not promised to continue on and on. Acting on this experience should lead you to be present and fully inhale the moment while you’re living it.

salieri145 · 2019-04-28T17:09:42+00:00

fake it till you make it

freew33zy · 2019-04-28T19:36:13+00:00

Think about building an abundance lol

AClive22 · 2019-04-28T20:25:10+00:00

Next her if you must and work on your game to actually get abundance. Once you start banging other girls she will be a distant memory. Getting busy with hobbies that are interesting to you helps as well

laurcrv · 2019-04-28T22:48:12+00:00

Are you my twin brother?

Thinkingard · 2019-04-28T23:54:45+00:00

You are at your apex of SMV. You aren't able to trick your brain into thinking you have abundance if you don't actually have abundance (fucking girls, but, more importantly, knowing you could get laid with an attractive girl if you wanted, but this happens after fucking other girls). Is this girl thinking about you like you think about her? You talk like you are big value, but you debase your value and put this girl on a pedestal. Maybe she likes the chase, but all girls are gonna flake. Just find others you want, if anything, that will make her jealous and want you, but assume it's a sailed ship.

chazthundergut · 2019-04-29T02:35:38+00:00

Purpose.

Find your mission in life and get after it

Gordon-G · 2019-04-29T02:54:29+00:00

Don’t ever place a woman on a pedestal, and never have oneitis! Always play the field !

adam-l · 2019-04-29T05:36:51+00:00

Stop giving her free attention (and free hugs). She now has both her attention needs covered, and a complete.sense of control. Why should she give any of this up? HB9s need a man who is a challenge. Stop wagging your tail to every bone she throws you.

As a sidenote, she's most probably a bad case for a LTR, anyway. It makes no sense spending more time thinking about her than you'll spend with her if you get together.

INNASKILLZ2K18 · 2019-04-29T12:10:58+00:00

'dimes like her aren't exactly easy to come by'

Yes they are

'getting girls is definitely not a problem'

Then why be hung up?

Also, why the long list of traits qualifying yourself to us?

Frankly, this girl is fucking you around, and you're orbiting her. Stop that. There is an abundance of women who aren't going to fuck you around 'talking' about sex, and flaking. Have some self respect. You teach others to respect your time and desires, by first respecting yourself.

You have oneitis and are putting her on a pedestal.

YourShadowScholar · 2019-04-29T14:56:51+00:00

Try to focus on getting flexible enough to suck your own penis. The effort involved will help keep your mind off of the girl. Also, it will enable you to think of her blowjobs less often as you will be able to give great ones to yourself!

extraterrestial · 2019-04-29T19:42:13+00:00

Research taking 5-htp för a couple of Days.. has helped me a couple of times.

roughback · 2019-04-28T21:20:21+00:00

remind yourself that other men have busted fat nuts inside her, and she loved it.

handfulofnuts · 2019-04-29T06:06:52+00:00

She’s not a 9, I can almost guarantee you. 10s don’t exist, or rather, a 10 is an objective 9 that happens to fit your subjective preferences (a 10 is a 9 who’s “your type”). E.g., I like Asian girls, so an Asian 9 with big tits and a nice ass could be a 10 for me (rare, unfortunately, but they’re out there).

So for her to be a 9, she has to be as hot as a girl gets. She’s in high school, so...she ain’t. Extremely rare exceptions may exist, but they prove the rule.

Also, trust me on this, in a few years you’ll think of the “hot girls” from high school and wonder why the hell you thought they were so hot. You will have had more experience with more girls in more places, and you’ll realize those girls were just “cute for Pembroke Hills High School” or whatever.

Plus, 9s don’t like guys their own age, especially not when they’re 18. Sorry dude. They date guys who are a few years older, at least.

So all that said, she’s a 7, maaaaaaybe an 8 at best. You may not agree, but it’s best to think of her that way anyway, so you don’t pedestalize her. She’s just a 7, so what’s the big deal?

And look, if this 7 is into you, other 7s will be into you too. You may not know they are, but they are. Some 8s will be into you. Maybe even a 9 or two, once you’re older. Definitely a bunch of 6s.

So that’s where abundance mentality comes from when you don’t have an actual abundance of bitches around you. The first time I hooked up with an 8 (an objective 8, but a 9 for me because she was a gorgeous Japanese chick), I knew I could get other girls like her. Even if I wouldn’t get one as hot as her for a while (and it did take a while), I knew I could, and I knew that a bunch of girls a bit less hot than her would definitely be into me. So that gave me the abundance to go out and find them.

So move on. You’ve got options. And if you start acting like a guy who has options, she may even become more interested.

goblinboglin · 2019-04-28T16:44:02+00:00

This is a problem that occurs very often.

People say go lift, do other things and game new chicks.

That has never helped me.

What helped me was to begin hating her. Either her way of talking, dressing, how slutty is she, etc.

After some time you will begin to feel disgust and hatred towards her and you can't lust something that evokes hatred and disgust at the first thought.

Yes, it's stupid and childish, hating a girl because she doesn't want you/you can't have her/you don't want her but have feeling towards her.

But it works wonders.

GandMeChattri · 2019-04-28T22:01:38+00:00

I'll be blunt.

If you're incapable of snagging that HB9 then you're self-sabotaging and nothing else.

Rather have a HB6 hole to stick your dick in than daydream about a HB9 hoe. I'm willing to personally go as low as a 4 if her personality is pleasant.

When you're banging that HB6, your sexual urges are taken care of and you won't think about that HB9 24x7.

Title	How do I stop thinking about a girl without having an abundance of other girls?
Author	monkofallmonks
Upvotes	84
Comments	66
Date	April 28, 2019 2:29 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bibs92/how_do_i_stop_thinking_about_a_girl_without/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-stop-thinking-about-a-girl-without-having.236475 https://theredarchive.com/post/236475

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