How do you deal with being ghosted?

infamous3238 · 2018-06-06T19:30:16+00:00

Plates break. Could have been for a million different reasons. Maybe she wanted a BB to commit to her, maybe she found a better Chad. Don’t take it personally.

You deal with it by accepting it’s eventually going to happen (she’s not yours, it’s just your turn) and having multiple options lined up to replace her (abundance mentality).

MattyAnon · 2018-06-07T00:31:29+00:00

It particularly hurts because I feel like I did everything right

Just because you do everything "right" doesn't mean you get guaranteed results. Girls are not "do A, get result B". There's a big element of random thrown in there.

Anyways, it sucks, and it hurts

How many other girls you seeing?

It's your ego that's hurt. You see this as a rejection of yourself, which it isn't. It's just a girl who has changed her mind. Things change. Situations change. It was your turn. Now it isn't.

Rohan98k · 2018-06-06T19:40:14+00:00

Don't focus on this too much . Just go on and continue doing whatever the hell you were doing . 90% of the times she will come back and drop a text to see if you were actually bothered if she left , just act like nothing happened and continue smashing . If she doesn't come however , why do you think she was a plate in the first place ?

VasiliyZaitzev · 2018-06-06T20:06:15+00:00

You lack abundance mentality.

GFTOW.

FemtoG · 2018-06-06T21:03:20+00:00

Make sure the next one is hotter/better.

rayrayray1234 · 2018-06-06T20:44:10+00:00

Let it sink in, this is how ALL relationships will end. This one, the next one and so on. This is how it is, this is How it’s always going to be

MotiMorphosys · 2018-06-06T19:41:33+00:00

Yeah, it sucks.

I follow the two text rule. If she hasn't texted back in a while, and I was the last one that texted, I will send one final text saying something like hey, everything okay? If I don't get a response within a week I just delete everything to do with her and move on. This is part of the game.

It sucks, But you should have other irons in the fire.

Youcantbanthechamp · 2018-06-06T23:50:02+00:00

2 things to learn here:

You took a fuck buddy out to places.
Yes, orgasmic sex is that important. It's literally the basis of the relationship.

On moving on:

Occupy yourself with shit that will actually benefit you like school, reading, lifting etc.

When you go up at least one notch in sexual value, and be honest with yourself, I want you to make a banging tinder profile and swipe right like it's your job for a day.

If you're at least a 6 with a solid profile and in an area near college campuses, you'll quickly start getting laid again.

More plates and improving yourself will help you move on. Good luck.

Peter_B_Long · 2018-06-06T23:57:41+00:00

It sounds like you got some oneitis for this one.

It stings a little when plates break. You're not a robot. You're not going to be 100% unreactive when someone you've been making love with straight up abandons you.

If I were you, I would use this experience as a lesson for future plates. Now you will KNOW that any plate you're spinning can potentially straight up abandon you without notice.

I was most hurt by my first RP plate because she also ghosted me out of nowhere and I never found out why (probably cause I got butthurt at some shit tbh)

This other girl straight up wanted everything to do with me. She would like literally quiver if I had a finger close to her clit. I could've probably made her climax from just dry humping. She hated that I talked to other girls and would shit test me hard about not being exclusive. She really wanted a boyfriend and when the next guy came along offering commitment, she straight up ghosted me and hasn't talked to me since.

Plates break unfortunately and you just need to accept that. She's not yours, it's just your turn is seriously top 3 best advice you'll learn in this sub. I've become so adaptive to "it's just your turn" that I barely even tailor my plans for plates. Even if they give a definite yes to coming over, I'll still take it as a maybe and I'll have a plan B set up already.

Always try to have more than one plate. Right now I have 2 (I've been kinda lazy with finding more) and they're both pretty reliable. They both know that I'm fucking other girls and they both are free enough that I can hit up last minute and they'll come through.

If this girl was your only plate, then there's only 1 thing you can do. GO OUT AND GET MORE PLATES. That's it. Lift, Study, Learn, Practice, Cold Approach, Escalate, Game. The more plates you're spinning and the more girls you're talking to = The less fucks you'll give if one of them ghosts you.

TheTrenTrannyTrain · 2018-06-07T01:10:27+00:00

Been there done that.

When you have amazing sex and great connection, it stings when you lose that. Exact same thing happened to me 3 week ago, and after some reflection I believed I did almost everything right. It is in our nature to figure out the reason why she ghost, but we are talking about women, reasons don't apply, only feelings.

Go no contact, refocus on your Mission, find peace in knowing that you didn't backpedal into BP and you will come out stronger.

Edit: http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2014/10/12/important-ignore-breakup/

This is a good read, it helps me realign my priority.

bootruman · 2018-06-07T02:07:01+00:00

You ghost like your life depends on it.

Just kidding... But really doing it to someone else you understand how easy it is to slip into that behavior and makes getting ghosted in the future feel less shitty. Just keep meeting new people! And work on the skill of meeting new people, use dating apps, social media, and practice talking to complete strangers. If you work at it, they will pop up, swallow your pride and don’t fret over why the last girl didn’t like you as much as you liked her. I think social media has really morphed the institution of dating in ways that we don’t completely grasp. One of the side effects is talking to someone and they just suddenly - whoosh! - disappear.

chazthundergut · 2018-06-07T03:55:17+00:00

Reading what you wrote here tells us all we need to know. You may think you did everything right, but in your core you were still her sweet little thing. And trust me, she knows it.

Kill the beta. Continue your transformation.

Practical advice? She's ghosted you so now she's gone, end of story. Now go and take all your pain and frustration and put it under the squat rack you thirsty bitch.

Good luck dude.

BeeBopJoe · 2018-06-06T23:44:16+00:00

She probably instinctively felt like the relationship wasn't heading towards commitment so she bailed.

Don't take it personally dude, sometimes peoples goals don't align and they have to make whatever decision feels right.

Donman876 · 2018-06-07T06:42:29+00:00

Scarcity mindset, too many bitches out here my guy. Reading this she probably ghosted you because you're still beta.

anabolic92 · 2018-06-07T07:11:00+00:00

She has ghosted you but she could also have given you a shitty excuse.

Women reserve the right, since birth, to be dishonest and change their mind anytime, why would you get mad over that? Women are covert communicators, you know it.

Call them out and you are a salty motherfucker.

Be glad you can see through all of her shit thanks to TRP and just laugh it off.

batfish55 · 2018-06-07T11:20:10+00:00

Seriously? Get more digits.

I can't speak for all guys, but if I'm dating more than one chick, it's really easy to not catch the feels for any particular one.

Andorli · 2018-06-07T12:09:55+00:00

How do you deal with being ghosted?

You don't. You don't give a shit, people change, they have their own reasons for doing shit. You ideally should not care. If you do, occupy yourself with other shit to do and indulge in hobbies or go out and find a better plate.

Circle of life my friend.

BusterVadge · 2018-06-07T13:12:40+00:00

She might be getting serious with someone else. It happens. Always good to have more than 1 plate so you're able to get the sex you need while looking to replace the broken one.

ImmunosuppressedTau · 2018-06-07T13:57:33+00:00

Here's the thing you need to engineer your life in such a way that you are so busy dealing with your own shit and you have so much abundance that you hardly even notice that she's gone.

My life is fully packed now with BJJ, Tai-jitsu, gym, my PHD that I don't have the time to worry about if a woman messages me back. I met a chic on a train. She later added me on fb. So I reach out an arrange drinks but I was busy so I had to cancel last minute and had rearrange until next week. I never got a reply. Didn't bother me and I filled the time slot with something more productive and worthwhile.

hawkeaglejesus · 2018-06-07T16:40:50+00:00

"You're acting like a bitch and there is nothing anybody can tell you that will magically make you not a bitch."

uncommoncommoner · 2018-11-23T17:10:06+00:00

I've taken it really hard, even though it's been a few years since it happened. It's as if the symptoms were asleep and now the more I question, the more awake they are and I can't...find peace.

Title	How do you deal with being ghosted?
Author	MrGoodStuff05
Upvotes	33
Comments	38
Date	June 6, 2018 7:27 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8p3klg/how_do_you_deal_with_being_ghosted/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-you-deal-with-being-ghosted.758 https://theredarchive.com/post/758

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