My girlfriend texts her "best guy friend" multiple times a week

hstabley · 2017-12-12T21:20:01+00:00

Doesn't matter. All girls will do this. If you're really that worried you need to work on your self esteem.

LordThunderbolt · 2017-12-13T00:29:01+00:00

"Best guy friend" equals bad news. Trust me. They've thought about fucking/they're fucking/they fucked/they're gonna fuck. I dont know a single girl who has a "best guy friend" that hasn't at least sucked his dick.

Demote the broad to plate and engage with more women. Better yet, tell me how long you were playing her before you committed.

oprahsghost · 2017-12-12T21:31:04+00:00

Yes this is normal. This becomes abnormal if she begins meeting up for drinks or displaying strange behavior like locking her phone when you're around or hiding things. Then it's worth at least asking about or looking into.

bluepillcarl · 2017-12-12T21:22:06+00:00

He's her girlfriend.

chazthundergut · 2017-12-12T21:23:42+00:00

You're in a lose/lose situation.

On the one hand, you can't have your chick texting some dude all the time, especially one she only met shortly before you.

On the other hand, anything you say to her that communicates that she shouldn't text him will reveal that you give a shit and you are insecure.

If it were me, I would start texting other girls, frequently and in front of her. Never bring it up, and never make a big deal about it. Let her make a big deal about it, if it bothers her.

And if she calls you out on it, just say that you're fine with her texting her guy friends so why shouldn't you be allowed to do the same?

If she offers to stop texting him, then tell her you will think about it. And tell her to text him: "I can't talk to you anymore I have a boyfriend."

However, my assumption is that this guy is a topic that you guys have already discussed. And you've already given up frame to her over it, or most likely she feels too comfortable around you and you're not attractive enough to her. Girls who are really attracted to their boyfriend don't text other guys, because they're worried that their boyfriend might drop them.

blackedoutfast · 2017-12-12T22:00:27+00:00

he's probably just some orbiter stuck in the friendzone.

but if she goes on overnight trips "for work" or "to see her family" or "to see her (female) friend" or something like that then he's probably the guy she's fucking.

master_beta89 · 2017-12-13T00:35:49+00:00

If he is really a friend you would be friends with him too.

I cannot imagine a scenario where a gf of mine would have a best friend I haven’t met / hungout with.

If the three of you can’t hangout, he’s not a friend.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2017-12-13T10:28:35+00:00

So here's a scenario for you:

I have a female friend who I communicate with from time to time, whether she's in a relationship or not. I have zero interest in ever banging her (she's attractive enough, but she's way too short for me, and is outside of my target demo for a number of reasons, and I have abundance in my preferred demo). When she starts dating a new guy, after a whiles, she explain to him who I am, etc., never hides my existence, etc. We've also been friends for a number.

She also has another male BFF who desperately wants to bang her and has for the entire time they've known each other. IIRC, they went on a couple of dates and then she FriendZoned him. Whenever she ends a relationship, he circles back through to see if he has a shot with her.

So you have to figure out which type of guy this guy is. Have you ever met him? Does she try to keep you from meeting him? What is the nature of their convos? Is it just "life" stuff or is she flirty with him?

Anyway, your move is to be chill about it, but then up the dread level if necessary.

jb_trp · 2017-12-12T21:38:38+00:00

It's up to her to communicate to you that you are her Number 1 priority (as far as guys go), and to show you that she sets healthy boundaries with other dudes.

But you can't ask her to do this, or to tell her she can't text this guy specifically. Mate guarding is beta AF and in that situation, you will lose.

If she doesn't show you that you're a priority and that she's setting good boundaries with men, you need to next her.

chim_city · 2018-02-07T18:12:59+00:00

"I would never seriously date a woman who didn't have good boundaries with other men," and then see how she responds over time.

RunawayGrain · 2017-12-12T22:10:47+00:00

One of you two is the backup plan. Is she seeing this guy in person?

walawalawa · 2017-12-13T00:49:47+00:00

I was in this situation...the girl was playing me off another two of my "friends".

The problem is that it became a situation where these two idiots were constantly undermining me to try to get into her pants.

They gave her constant attention and my attempts to soft-next and modify her behavior were constantly undermined because she'd just hang out with one of these idiots.

I would suggest rather than dumping her...you start spinning plates and have a few more on the go.

This girl is not someone you want in your life long-term.

mushroom_overlord · 2017-12-13T02:16:51+00:00

He is probably an orbiter. Act like he doesn't matter until there is an indication he or she has crossed a line, in which case reinforce your borders unless the transgression is too great to continue.

fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck- · 2017-12-12T21:30:44+00:00

He’s her girlfriend.... or you are.

If they’re not childhood friends, then this guy is either her orbiter (she wouldn’t need to talk to an orbiter daily) or a guy she sometimes fucks but, for logistical reasons, it’s easier for her to be with you full time.

If you’re regularly filling her with cum, then don’t worry about it so much.

Dustin_Bromain · 2017-12-12T22:30:08+00:00

Chill out man....

deadassfinna · 2017-12-13T08:16:00+00:00

Solution? Balance the scales. Text another girl the same way.

htbf · 2017-12-13T17:21:46+00:00

Meet him and find ut what kind of man he is. Some men are really not an issue and have their use as friends to your LTR. They will help you deal with her emotional burden. She will vent to him when she gets stressed out and will keep your relationship light.

If she's flirty with him though... it's a different story.

Pork_Sword3 · 2017-12-13T01:26:18+00:00

You’re thinking about this too much OP. He was there before you but you became her boyfriend. Sounds to me he is just her emotional tampon/orbiter/guy-girlfriend. Stop worrying about stupid shit and get on with your life.

Ascended_One · 2017-12-13T09:13:36+00:00

Sounds like a beta orbiter, chill out man

Title	My girlfriend texts her "best guy friend" multiple times a week
Author	drawing7
Upvotes	20
Comments	52
Date	December 12, 2017 9:04 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7jdyao/my_girlfriend_texts_her_best_guy_friend_multiple/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/my-girlfriend-texts-her-best-guy-friend-multiple.119976 https://theredarchive.com/post/119976

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