25 year old virgin here.

CharliesDaniels · 2013-11-27T20:55:12+00:00

Haven't really kissed a girl in my life and haven't had sex so I thought that having sex with a prostitute in a different country would help, but it really didn't. 2 years later same issues were going on. I'm a pretty smooth talker, but physically escalating was always an issue as well. Myself and all my friends knew it was a struggle.

Just recently I decided just to man up and not chicken out when that chance came around again. It was my second time seeing this girl and she was showing IOIs both times we were around each other. We were both drunk I just gently pullled her in with my hand and started making out with her. We made out all night brought her back to my place. Started hooking up regularly over the next few weeks and we've touched all bases but sex. First time I mentally told myself "fuck it just do it" in the situation. Also, I realized that I used to get real drunk thinking it would help, but If you can't do it when your sober, you can't do it when your hammered. Made sure I just drank a few beers to get the edge off and did it. Dude, it's awesome being intimate with a women. We are in our 20's and have to make the most of being young!!!

There are really no tricks, if you can recognize the moment, you just have be a MAN and do it.

jonkedi · 2013-11-27T20:20:05+00:00

Your problem is due to the fact that at some point (probably multiple times, actually), you were made to feel ashamed of your sexuality. Whenever you enter a sexual situation with a girl you are re-triggering those feelings of shame. The girl notices how you are feeling, and it turns her off.

It's possible that going to sex worker could help you get over some part of this, and there's nothing wrong with trying it if you want to, but I doubt it will fix the core issue. Most sex workers are have a lot of unresolved issues of their own in regard to their sexuality and will not be able to help you with yours.

Really this is an issue that is best addressed in person by a knowledgeable coach or therapist. It's entirely mental and once you let go of it you will enjoy women much more.

infernalsatan · 2013-11-27T17:19:11+00:00

I am almost certain you are my doppelganger

colucci · 2013-11-27T17:49:20+00:00

wow.

Listen if youre an attractive guy and you respect yourself.

Do it right. Meet a girl, build an attraction and just break it to her that youre carrying your V card still. A good women will understand. A lot of girls at 25+ you can take them out and just be perfectly blunt about it.

Prostitutes... come on bro. Get yourself together.

sharkacolypse · 2013-11-27T17:37:40+00:00

Sounds like you have a mental barrier to overcome. I'd like to share few different techniques I've used to overcome mental barriers, hopefully one will help you. One thing that might help is pulling her into you for a kiss, instead of going to her or meeting her half way. This way you don't have to think of it as "going in for the kiss".

To approach girls, I used to think about something completely unrelated to approaching, and then when I was immersed in that other thought I would turn and walk over to the girl before I realized what I was doing. I tricked my brain, in a way, and even though I knew exactly what was going to happen the whole time, the "trick" helped me approach. I use this trick to get out of bed in the morning, too.

Lastly, my friends and I use a trick when we want to do something (like flips off of walls) that we're really nervous to do. One person counts up to three, and on three the person not counting has to do whatever it is we're doing. Counting yourself doesn't work because you can psych yourself out, but by having someone else count there's an element of competition, and this method has always worked for my friends and I. So you could have a girl count to three for you, not knowing what it's for, and then go for the kiss.

footlong24seven · 2013-11-27T19:47:28+00:00

No shame in losing it to a prosty.

As far as your escalation anxiety goes, I get it sometimes too, but you gotta learn to stop thinking and let the untamed animal inside you out (in the non-rapey way). If you wanna kiss her, attack! Pushing forward is the only way to know how far it goes.

HappyJerk · 2013-11-27T17:34:30+00:00

JFK lost his virginity to a prostitute so go for it.

In all seriousness, you need to realize that sex isn't a big deal. When you do it fireworks aren't going to go off, the world will not change, angels will not come from heaven and crown you. It's just a physical act that is sometimes awesome and loving and sometimes awkward and shitty.

luke7dude · 2013-11-27T17:26:28+00:00

I would start off with a massage. It will help you bring down the physical barrier. No need to go straight in with a prostitute.

Pit_Sweat · 2013-11-27T17:25:04+00:00

Personally, I would not. It's much healthier to learn to face your fears in real time - you gain more experience and learn a lot more about yourself that way.

But that being said, no one understands your situation better than you do. I've never had a crippling fear of anything before so I can't exactly put myself in your shoes. You do what you think is best for you, as long as you do it purposefully, confidently, and shamelessly.

2013-11-28T15:30:22+00:00

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Sed7away · 2013-11-28T04:07:56+00:00

I turn 22 in a month and I'm afraid of this so damn much...

DapperTillDeath · 2013-11-28T05:27:16+00:00

Trust me do nofap for a good 3 weeks and you won't chicken out

OPPyayouknowme · 2013-11-28T04:28:11+00:00

I lost mine at that age. A sex worker might help but please don't think in terms of 'extreme measures.' You are fine and your virginity is fine. Think in terms of smaller steps, victories, and in terms of becoming more confident in your sexual self. You have to start believing you're a sexual creature because you are. Girls want to fuck you. You just have to be able to find those that do and not waist time on those that don't.

2013-11-28T06:00:40+00:00

When you get a girl in bed play the passionate, aggressive role so you do not have time for negative thoughts that you would otherwise have throughout foreplay. Undress her and stop thinking. You'll seem like a Man, a bad ass, and a professional. This should start happening right when you hit the sheets.

SpinMyRiki · 2013-11-27T18:40:21+00:00

sorry but prostitutes dn't solve anything and will fill you with regret later.

dongpal · 2013-11-27T20:37:51+00:00

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throw1272526 · 2013-11-27T18:14:29+00:00

just get really drunk. fear gone.

asad16 · 2013-11-28T03:40:42+00:00

I'm not fat, not socially awkward, dress well, am doing well

I've had multiple occasions where I could have but every single time I've chickened out

Admit you have some problems with girls and you are socially awkward, and make the right steps so you can get through this situation. baby steps man. Google the shit on how to kiss a girl, get a good idea and set a goal. Go on from there

storytimewitharalloy · 2013-11-28T02:19:46+00:00

yeah just fuck a prostitute. that's what I did.

dongpal · 2013-11-28T03:26:05+00:00

What's wrong with taking things slowly with a chick? You should tell her that you want to take things a little slower. Most women will understand and will work with you. Denying physical contact will turn people off but communicating with them will only reinforce a bond.

2013-11-28T03:33:08+00:00

Tyler's latest video is actually very relevant, he explains how he was a lot like you when he was younger:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LWuP5FFgTg

McShizzL · 2013-11-28T06:40:34+00:00

The idea that you're a virgin means wayyyyyyy more to you than anyone else in this world. "pffft... haha you're still a virgin, bro" / "teheehee you're a virgin, that's so sweeeeeet" NOW ENDING THOUGHT PROCESS * BEEP BOOP BEEP *. That's it.

One bonus of being a virgin is that you can sniff out other virgins. It's an awesome skill.

2013-11-28T00:22:31+00:00

You have deep anxiety issues about being physical with women. Therapy would be helpful.

If you don't wish to take that step, I suggest Intimate Connections by David R Burns. It will give you the tools to work through these issues.

Having sex with a prostitute likely wouldn't solve the issue because it's a different sort of interaction. You'd still have to deal with your insecurities. It's just as likely to hurt as it is to help.

citizensounds · 2013-11-28T02:11:47+00:00

I'd try getting to know a girl well enough and just tell her the truth. A prostitute seems extreme, although I've thought about it ;)

dmightx · 2013-11-28T04:17:34+00:00

If you have sex with a prostitute you will most likely be ashamed of it and increase the insecurities that are preventing you from intimacy.

2013-11-28T05:28:07+00:00

Go to a prostitute if you want. Or don't . But the only way you re goin to get over this is to just do it. Next time you have a chance to, just let go of all fucks and worries and put your Johnson into her Lilly.

omonster89 · 2013-11-28T05:48:00+00:00

You should get a prostitute. I think that it will get you over your insecurities and realize that its not such a big deal.

dioxholster · 2013-11-28T06:48:36+00:00

First of all its all about atitude, and you need to show women you mean business. Are you funny? you better be, because if you not making them laugh they will not want to sleep with you. Humor is important its like having sex with them without touching, you build an emotional bond through jokes. if you have a fear of kissing then you can overcome that by not fapping for weeks.

readonlyuser · 2013-11-28T08:32:10+00:00

Sex is, among many other things, a skill set. Playing tennis once doesn't make someone a different person, same with sex. Paying a bunch of money because you think that will change who you are is ridiculous. Your problem can be solved by meeting more women, eventually you'll become inured.

PuempelsPurpose · 2013-11-28T09:46:37+00:00

Get to the point where you have that 'almost kiss' moment, move your face a little bit forward, and say "kiss me".

I wouldn't usually recommend doing that but if you need her to make the final move you can at least be aggressive with the penultimate move.

throwaway9484774 · 2013-11-28T20:03:45+00:00

I am 23 and I had never kissed a girl or had sex until last month. While I was traveling in Thailand, I got a Thai hooker. Let me share my experience.

I was very nervous and wanted to try kissing first. It was super awkward. So I asked for a blowjob. I was prepared to be blown away but at the same time I was afraid I would come too fast. But I didn't feel anything. Nothing. Are condoms really that desensitizing? I then asked her if I could eat her out, it was awkward as well, so I just had sex with her. I was going at it very fast but once again I didn't feel anything. Is that it? Is that what all the fuss is about? Nevertheless, I finished very quickly which she was very happy about. I left disappointed but at least I knew what to expect now.

I realized kissing/sex is not something that comes naturally to you once you try it. It only gets better with practice. It bummed me out because it meant the next time it would still probably be just as awkward. I also realized that sex without emotions can't possibly be great because when I tried kissing her body it felt like kissing a piece of meat.

Towards the end of my trip, I got another hooker. This time I took her for the whole night because I wanted to know what it's like to sleep next to a woman. This time it was great. I was honest with her and she gave me a girlfriend experience. Kissing was not awkward at all, it was awesome. She kissed and teased me. Unfortunately, I still didn't feel anything during sex and bare back blowjob, but at least this time I lasted a long time. Afterwards we started talking (pillow talk, lol) and I got a feeling we liked each other. In the morning we had sex again and then later she wanted to have sex for the third time (even though I had paid only for two times) and was audibly upset when I couldn't get it up because I was too tired. I thought I'd seduced a hooker.

On my last night in Thailand, I went looking for a hooker again. I found a really cute girl but before she could come with me I saw the girl from last time so I went home with her. This time it was like I was in a porn movie. It was fantastic. The only weird thing was that she wouldn't let me eat her out. Because I would run away. Wait, what? I convinced her to let me do it and something seemed off. I asked her if she's a girl and she said yes. But she didn't seem offended. But she can't be a ladyboy, her tits are fake, yes, but she has no scars, no adam's apple, she looks so much like a girl and she told me she'd traveled a lot and I had read that ladyboys have difficulty traveling abroad so they don't do it much, she can't be a ladyboy. But why did the hotel receptionist laugh out loud when she showed him her ID? Why did she say I'd run away? But to my questions if she's a girl she always replied yes. Phew.

Today, I feel more confident. Next time it happens I won't hesitate go for the kiss. Even though sex may still be a bit awkward at least I will know what to do and I know I can last a long time because I won't feel anything anyway. So I don't regret anything.

The next morning I asked the hotel receptionist if the girl's ID said she was male or female and he told me it said male. He then showed me a copy of her ID and it had "Mr" before her name. Fuuuuck. I'd had sex with a ladyboy and I couldn't even tell it. How embarrassing :(

massacreindisguise · 2013-11-27T22:37:39+00:00

Having to get a prostitute is ridiculous and will annoy you the rest of your life as soon as you realize how little of a deal sex is.

Just get drunk for fuck's sake like everyone else does it

ImChrisBrown · 2013-11-27T23:14:40+00:00

There's a lot of good suggestions here, here's my input.

I'm a 24 year old kissless virgin. I'm well traveled, interesting, live a very active life, attractive, in good shape, funny, blah blah blah - a ton of great qualities. I lead women on, often, I love Jesus Christ and i'm celibate but I find the sport entertaining. I find that I take such an alpha role that the women 'sit back' and go along for the ride, i have such a strong sense of direction that they let me make every move. I'll usually escalate to some physical point and then stop.

So what do you do? Two options - Continue to be as alpha as you are and be upfront and honest with the girl or be less alpha and let the girl take more of the lead. Build enough attraction and she's bound to make a move.

2013-11-27T23:02:46+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	25 year old virgin here.
Author	5748374937395
Upvotes	93
Comments	124
Date	November 27, 2013 5:13 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1rkzbc/25_year_old_virgin_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/25-year-old-virgin-here.1308165 https://theredarchive.com/post/1308165

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