30 First Date Conversation Starters That Will Kick Awkwardness In The Butt

incredible-mee · 2020-01-05T15:36:22+00:00

If you're planning on what to say, you're already taking a step in the wrong direction. If you wanna get good at conversation, listen to podcasts. You get to see what a good conversation looks like, and you'll learn some interesting shit you can talk about.

LADS2323 · 2020-01-05T17:34:50+00:00

How you say things > what you say

EarthWarping · 2020-01-05T15:29:17+00:00

[permanently deleted]

AGameofTrolls · 2020-01-05T17:59:15+00:00

Some of the questions are good, some are kind of tacky, and others are way too personal for a first date. I guess you could nitpick what you think would work best for you, but overall they do help you to get the conversation going and that's what you want before the first ackward silence begins to settle in.

aceshighsays · 2020-01-05T22:08:19+00:00

What is the worst thing someone could do on a date with you?

having a date in the style of an interview instead of a conversation.

Alex_O7 · 2020-01-05T18:28:25+00:00

WFT?

If a girl answer to the question "tell me about your self" with "i like reading/writing/painting/whatever" that's a great conversation starts as you could let her tall avout her passions (the easiest thing to do), give you some ideas if your passions match, and also give you a lot of hints for let the conversation flow.

For example if a girl answer me "i like reading" i will say "oh great also i love to read (which is actually true), i like to read x y and z, what do you like?" She answer, if you have some book or writer in common so let's talk about that if not let her talk why she like this or that book. At this point the conversation have already its flow and you have to continue with the association of ideas and thoughts. Then naturally lead the convo whatever you want.

Talking about passions seems to be plain and odd, but if you're an actually intresting guy, with different passions and interest, you can talk with any girl. Instead using a set of prepared line just for the occasion, unless you are a very good actor will be the recipe for a disaster.

ejpusa · 2020-01-05T17:14:48+00:00

Seems pretty unisex.

omega_constant · 2020-01-05T19:52:01+00:00

This list gives great ideas for brainstorming.

As pointed out already, being present is the most important thing. For example, let's say you have a coffee date. You both order, and sit down, and she's still not offered a topic to start the conversation. No problem, the most obvious questions have to do with where you are. For example, "So, are you new to <the town you're in>?" If you're a native or an old-timer, there are two possibilities. If she is new, then you can use things about this place that most people from other places don't usually know as small-talk topics as you try to make her comfortable to ask more direct questions about herself. If she is a native, then you can commiserate about the common woes of living there... the awful traffic, and so on, or keep it light by chatting about the good weather, the funny people, the cliches of that place, and so on. If you're new to that place, just reverse the logic for each possibility. While this is not a "magic formula", it's pretty reliable for just "filling the awkward silence" as you feel out the conversation and prepare to ask more pointed, personal questions. Opening with, "tell me about yourself," can say to her, "I am putting zero effort into this conversation." But opening with, "which traumas that you experienced as a child do you think most define you as an adult?" (for example) is a bit extreme for a conversation-opener. You need to find a balance and chit-chat gives you a little breathing space to do that.

ThorLives · 2020-01-06T03:20:56+00:00

Yeah, a lot of these come off sounding like job-interview questions. I would avoid them because I'd feel embarrassed asking them.

Some of these questions might work well enough if the conversation happened to swing in that direction. For example, if you were talking about buying a stuffed animal for your nephew's birthday because he wants to become a zoologist, and you say that's exactly what you wanted to do when you were a kid, then it might be fine to ask "Is there anything you wanted to be when you were a kid". It wouldn't come-off as weird and canned.

But, if you ask that question out of nowhere, it seems canned and forced.

BatmanvSuperman3 · 2020-01-06T08:21:00+00:00

At least Half of those suck because they are closed ended questions. (And not open-ended to avoid short answers).

“Do you work best in morning or evening?”

Who the hell asks that question. Chances are she will say “uhhh idk like by noon”. Conversation direction should NEVER be scripted. You just have to let it come naturally.

Dunc0ne · 2020-01-06T08:46:48+00:00

I was at a friends house-warming yesterday. I started chatting to this woman(Amy). We started with the easy stuff("How is life going," "What are you interested in," " What do you do with your free time," etc), we then progressed on to slightly higher grade stuff("This might be slightly left field, you said something about nature management, what do you think about the reintroduction of species? Should we be reintroducing rhe wooly mammoth or the passenger pigeon," etc).

Turns out she holds three degrees, in vetinary, nature management and one other. At about 00:45am we broke.

Amy: "I never speak like this... it just... thank you."

I'm in a relationship at the moment and so didn't take it any further but I could if I'd wanted to.

MIERDAPORQUE · 2020-01-05T19:51:02+00:00

This is terrible

Fluid_Economics · 2020-01-06T13:27:09+00:00

"So tell me about yourself" is what I hear coming from women way too often, because they are sitting there with no idea on what to say or go forward. They didn't really listen to what you said before, didn't pick up anything they can bring up and segway into another topic.

Xazax310 · 2020-01-06T17:51:25+00:00

If your on the "first date" (never say date to a girl BTW when asking her out) The girl should be doing 80% or more of the talking. Your simply asking the right questions or making statements. (What was college like for you?) (You were a party girl I bet) If there's a lull. You pause. let her ask you a question. Make it fun or interesting.

If you need conversation starters I'm not even sure how you talked her and got the "date" to begin with... sounds like some Cosmo BS here.

hi_idkwhoIam · 2020-01-05T20:16:43+00:00

!remindme 2 days

Title	30 First Date Conversation Starters That Will Kick Awkwardness In The Butt
Author	nisasda11
Upvotes	534
Comments	55
Date	January 5, 2020 2:32 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ekdpbz/30_first_date_conversation_starters_that_will/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/30-first-date-conversation-starters-that-will-kick.1487802 https://theredarchive.com/post/1487802

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