[35M] Struggling with Dating After Separation—How Do I Get My Groove Back?

CavaSpi77er · 2024-08-09T11:18:34+00:00

Time my friend.

Learn the lessons from the girls you're with. They are telling you something. However, stay honest. You're on the right path.

Johnny_Kilroy · 2024-08-09T13:14:30+00:00

No offence but I think you are kidding yourself hoping for success if you are a 35 year old overweight Indian guy who dresses poorly and tells girls you're just looking for something casual.

DaygameCode · 2024-08-09T14:02:50+00:00

Did you know that 38 is supposed to be a man’s peak of attractiveness as long as he takes care of himself? A woman’s peak is around 23 as long as she takes care of herself then it start to fall down.

If you gained 15 pounds, you need to get your ass in the gym and stop eating processed food and switch it all with meats fish water and vegetables. If you take care of your body at your 30s it will look better than ever and women will drool over you cuz you’ll look like a real man. If you are fat, then women will see you as much older than 35.

Your confidence will be rebuilt when you actually look great physically and then you can do daygame in that order. There is no such things as “eventually” for your physique.

The car is irrelevant but the body is top priority the older you get because if you don’t take care of it you look way pass beyond your prime, women won’t ever think you’ll look better eventually, they’ll think you’ll just look worst and worst letting yourself go further and further.

So you cannot really afford to leave it for later, your weight always will be a detriment not because the belly looks bad but because the face the shoulders and everything makes you look worst and past your prime.

I’m not saying that being in top physique will make everything magically easy, but women will tolerate more mistakes and respond more positively initially at the very least than now which means more opportunities.

The older you get the less energy you’ll have to put in the work and will get harder. You are highly underestimating how bad your weight affects you specially if you look only for something casual. Like dude casual things are for hot guys not for mid guys whose looks are deteriorating.

GymBroTRT · 2024-08-09T12:42:29+00:00

Sounds like you’ve given up on yourself and are now pickachu face why women don’t want you anymore.

SalesAficionado · 2024-08-09T12:12:44+00:00

You're not seeing the same result because you've become a fat fuck (I need to lose weight too) who doesn't dress well and has no game. You don't need a nicer car. What you need is to hit the gym, get a nice haircut, buy better clothes and realize that cold approach is ALWAYS going to be high in rejections, that's just a pillar of dating. You need to approach a LOT as a man if you want to be promiscuous. Approaching a lot -> a lot of rejections and blowouts. That's it.

Again, by being straight forward you will filter women that actually like men who are straight forward and masculine. This process will OBVIOUSLY result in a high number of rejections. Rejections from women who wants to go on 4 dates before a kiss, women who wants to get married within a month etc.

You're just trying to get laid, you'll obviously going to turn off women who want that. That's okay.

Worried-One2399 · 2024-08-09T14:05:38+00:00

It’s probably hard to understand, I have trouble myself.

However, from an outsiders perspective. U r letting each “date” dictate how u should feel.

That’s not wat you should be saying. Also dating is a #’s game, the more woman u can attract. The more will be attracted to u.

I wouldn’t say the car from a BMW to a Tesla is a “downgrade”.

Woman care about confidence, can u make decisions when she’s unable too? Can u let her vent and state an unbiased perspective or response.

Build some credibility and go on dates w/ woman. But not ever date needs to turn into a “romantic connection”

I learned that later in life, when u think “well that didn’t go well” u want to be the prize, so make her want u more than u want her.

Tease her, etc… it comes with time. Trial & error, it happens to everybody. U just have to roll w/ the punches

freudweeks · 2024-08-09T16:09:47+00:00

She told me she doesn’t kiss on the first date, but I gave her a quick peck anyway. Later, she texted me saying I didn’t respect her boundaries and that she doesn’t want to see me again.

Don't double down on non-compliance. Girl says she doesn't want to do something, don't fucking do it, do something else she might like. There are a million other ways you could have heated things up without kissing her. If a girl says "I don't do x quickly" she means "I'm not horny enough yet, try again a little later".

All of that material stuff doesn't matter. The looks stuff matters but not as much as you might think. Get your shit together but don't stress yourself out about it. You get a lot more by internalizing that there is no reason you're not hot enough for any girl. The bar is very low and once you pass it every dude is effectively the same, but it's personality which is the important part. You get more than anything by being relaxed. Learn breathing exercises and paired muscle relaxation if you can't be totally chill.

If the girl is still talking to you, she wants to fuck you or will soon. It really is that simple.

Don't talk about yourself unprompted SERIOUSLY I MEAN IT, ask her lots of questions in a fun way, keep making moves in the ways that feel right (go find a list of ways you can make moves if you like. Personally I like having a sexual tone, staring at her body, maintaining eye contact, and clever compliments), RELAX, and really listen to her when she implies when she wants, especially if it's to fuck "where do you live? do you have roommates? what are you up to today?".

Worth_Sorbet_9086 · 2024-08-09T11:37:14+00:00

The question is where and how I can game. Should I go for younger , my age, or older woman?

Western-Month-3877 · 2024-08-09T11:38:33+00:00

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Based on your story those last 2 weren’t exactly your fault. I would just keep looking. I understand tho, after not being in the game for a while, a couple rejections must’ve tasted so bitter.

I don’t know where you met them. But to tell you the truth surprisingly I get more success hitting on women off line than meeting them on dating apps. The atmosphere itself is already different (natural vs fake vibes).

Footsoldier420 · 2024-08-09T16:46:30+00:00

I think you asked the questions you know the answer too.

You kinda know what you need to do but are looking for confirmation?

MouseAware809 · 2024-08-09T18:23:34+00:00

What is your game other than "showing off what you have". What does that even mean.

Do you have the same energy as when you were younger.

Are you learning from these dates you have? Your obviously getting them.

But you have been out of the game, so your gonna have the hassle your ass and learn.

Yeah congrats you run a business, but so what? Does that make women feel safe around you to let themselves go, feel attraction, does it make them feel aroused.

Also get your ass in the gym. 15 pou ds is 15 pounds regardless of the reason/excuse.

Look mate, your obviously taking action and I reckon your on the right track so sorry if this response has sounded harsh. But game is something you have to work at.

But... Your doing stuff and not just making excuses. So respect.

Like I say your on the right track, but this shit ain't gonna fall into your lap. The universe knows you won't value it, so your gonna have to hussle.

Good luck and godspeed

mackie__m · 2024-08-09T19:53:25+00:00

There is only a couple of things you need to do. You have money, experience and culture. Make use of that. You don’t need to lose weight. Trust me. There are plenty of guys with 6 pack abs who are not getting it.

Groom well. This does not mean expensive clothes. This means figure out what goes for you. Most of my clothes are thrifted. Also, groom well. Beard, hair and some minimal jewelry.

Second is be super comfortable with who you are. A girl calls you old, play on it (that’s why you should call me daddy, or whatever the hell). Make use of your culture. Talk about yoga, chakras whatever. Make use of your money. Pay for some good photos if you’re doing online dating, get some good photos when you travel for your ig, dress high end (based on your style), if you like the girl take her to some place high end on the 3rd date, etc.

Let me know if you want to chat.

zebekias · 2024-08-09T22:05:08+00:00

“I’ll do those things eventually”

There is no eventually, the time is now.

DoctorNeiman · 2024-08-10T19:22:32+00:00

There is absolutely no confidence builder better than getting in shape. And I mean real shape. Not losing 10lbs on the scale. Get into the gym and get to work. If you’re unfamiliar with how to maximize your workouts, get a trainer. Eat healthier foods ie. chicken breast, tilapia (frozen kind is easy & tastes great with a little salt), lean beef, jasmine rice, sweet potatoes, oatmeal, etc.

Dress the part as well. There’s a great store called Bonobos that sells awesome fitting pants. Teddy Stratford makes great dress shirts that zip up the front but look like they’re button downs. The zipper keeps the shirt from opening up between the buttons and looking awkward. It sounds silly, but it freakin works. Sweater polos. They look great when fitted right. I get mine off Amazon.

Look man, I’m 42 and I was ALWAYS a shy ass guy. I’ve just recently gotten into the best shape of my life (see one of my posts on my profile) and suddenly I’ve got all the confidence in the world.

Take the bull by the horns bro. Get in shape, dress yourself like the CEO you are, and get out there.

Spiritual_Word_7288 · 2024-08-09T11:31:46+00:00

Will address your issue:
First of all you need to understand that women dont care how you look especially at your age.
Sure, if you are good looking and fit its a bonus, but what they care mostly is your status, if you got you sh1t together, if you are successfull, and sounds to me- that you are.
So first of all start acting like it, and yes that means changing your wardrobe too.
Second of all, at your age, women who are single are looking to settle down already, so feel free to be more direct and more upfront about what you are looking for, most of them will respect and admire it.

You should respect their boundaries however. when a woman says she doesnt want to kiss on the first date, you dont kiss her. You did that because it hurt your ego probably, but the better thing you could have done is taking it lightly and use humor or sarcasm.

So we are a group of players and dating coaches determined to help people just like you in improving their game, gaining confidence around women, becoming more assertive, and achieving success with women.

We created the perfect playbook which has already helped around 10k men worldwide. however we really hate selling through this platform so what i would advise you to do is follow our new instagram for daily content that will give you insights about what you are looking for. (all the links in our profile).

MrAnonPoster · 2024-08-09T13:13:49+00:00

Gym and diet. Jfk, the game is the same - you are just less fuckable. Probably much less fuckable for women you go after: if you are average, your target is at most an average woman - 5'3, 170lb - i bet you would be successful hitting on them

99probs-allbitches · 2024-08-09T14:03:08+00:00

Just stop jerkin it, you'll have to find poon

Title	[35M] Struggling with Dating After Separation—How Do I Get My Groove Back?
Author	Worth_Sorbet_9086
Upvotes	16
Comments	39
Date	August 9, 2024 11:10 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1enwyi7/35m_struggling_with_dating_after_separationhow_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/35m-struggling-with-dating-after-separationhow-do.1526792 https://theredarchive.com/post/1526792

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