Advice for a loner?

Western-Month-3877 · 2026-03-29T04:13:30+00:00

My initial thought would say you gotta move. But reading your post again, I’m thinking that wouldn’t solve your problem. Why? Because you’re a loner. You said it yourself you have no friends yet you’re still in your 20’s.

This reminds me of an old post in this sub where the poster is a younger dude from europe, planning to go vacation to NYC for a week. In his post he asks for helpful tips on how to approach girls in NYC, yet… his social skill is technically non existent. The problem is not the venue.

Whatever life-altering decision you gotta make, I believe it needs to be made immediately. Sounds like your comfort zone is finally closing in and you’re no longer comfy. If there’s no decision, I’m afraid your future situation will dictate the decision for you.

I’ve seen some guys in their 40’s-50’a living in rural areas while being single, either divorced or never married. A couple of them I personally know even told me they had realized their situation not just years, but decades ago. But they thought there’s nothing they could do.

CoachSlyDating · 2026-03-29T03:42:48+00:00

Move.

At a minimum start visiting Orlando on weekends and get a downtown hotel room. It’s a decent city for game.

Sketchy-Turtle · 2026-03-29T03:19:21+00:00

I used to live in a city where I had to drive over an hour to find a decent bar scene. I enjoy driving, so I'd make it on Friday and go back Sunday night.

I'd pack clothes and essentials in my bag and bathe in my car.

burncushlikewood · 2026-03-29T04:49:59+00:00

So let's talk about it, firstly I always like to look on the bright side of things and be positive, you're a smart man which is a major advantage so capitalize on it, and you're extremely young (27 is a baby in my opinion you're not even in your prime yet). You also seem to have isolated your problem, you claim you live in a bad location which is hindering your access to night game scenarios, so focus on day game and use your intelligence as a superpower to attract women. Make an approach schedule, do 100 approaches in a month for example, go to malls, stores, busy streets, concerts and events like festivals, and talk to women, just go up to them and start a conversation. Try to build rapport early, be charming and cordial and confident and assertive, and if she's in a group engage all of them, this is my recipe for success.

Radiant_Echo6523 · 2026-03-29T04:02:44+00:00

So I'm currently sort of in the same boat as a 24 year old. I have a group of friends but we're scattered throughout my city and don't meet up as often anymore so I've resorted to dating apps and befriending people at my gym.

Respect to you for taking care of your mom. Try and join some activities and honestly, cold approach every woman you find attractive and shoot your shot bro. Assuming you're saving money and investing, also travel from time to time. That's what I plan on doing.

FeistyRip9623 · 2026-03-29T05:59:10+00:00

spend as little time as possible at home. go to the gym, coffee shops, bars, singles events & the grocery store

Budget-Kick822 · 2026-03-29T03:06:28+00:00

Move

PostAvailable9966 · 2026-03-29T03:09:42+00:00

If it is that bad, then why not move? And I am not saying just go live in the CBD, parts of Eastern Europe and Asia can be cheaper than that. You can take month long vacations to test the waters. Probably your entire expenses will be cheaper than US rent alone.

But back to your point, even with your logistics, this is weaseling. I had SDLs when I was 1.30 hour away from home. If there is strong interest and skill, you can just get “lucky”. But as a beginner, fix your logistics you will get a lot out of it.

As to why you feel bad, here is a neurochemical breakdown. Sadly parts of mating are just very important on fundamental levels

abcsofattraction · 2026-03-29T06:13:36+00:00

You’ve correctly identified the core problem yourself: nothing about your situation will change unless you decide to change it. So let’s talk about what actually needs to change.

The hard truth first: living 50 minutes from Orlando in an isolated suburb is a lifestyle problem, not a skill problem. You can have perfect game and zero opportunities to use it if your environment produces no social interaction. Logistics rules everything. A guy with average skills in a target-rich environment will always outperform a guy with great skills who never leaves his house.

You have two options and both require a real decision. Either you commit to making the trip into Orlando regularly, treating it like a non-negotiable scheduled activity the way you treat the gym, or you seriously consider moving closer to where the density is. The tolls and drive time are friction that your brain will use as an excuse every single time. Remove the friction or accept that things stay the same.

On the solo going out piece: this is genuinely learnable and you don’t need a wing. Going out alone actually forces faster development because you can’t hide in conversation with a friend. We put together a full guide on solo sarging here.

Once you’re out, the opener doesn’t need to be complicated. Walk up, make eye contact, smile, raise your glass and say “Cheers.” That’s the entire entry point. You’re triggering a social reflex, not running a routine. Her brain has no threat to evaluate. Full breakdown of why this works scientifically here.

The theoretical knowledge you’ve built is actually an asset once you have environments to deploy it in. But theory without reps stays theory. You already know this. The move now is fixing the logistics.

Infinite88Library · 2026-03-29T06:11:32+00:00

Come to Buffalo for a weekend — I’ll go Downtown with you.

Environmental_Pay332 · 2026-03-29T06:39:30+00:00

Move

DistinctClass4042 · 2026-03-29T12:45:59+00:00

It feels like I could have written this post, almost everything is similar to my situation, biggest difference is I dont live in the US.

Ill-Occasion9032 · 2026-03-29T16:13:52+00:00

Hey I actually have great advice for you as everyone who knows me always makes fun of me being able to make friends anywhere I go. I was also a salesman for a long time so I did need to learn how to build rapport quickly.

Making GOOD friends will take a little bit more time.

Firstly, get out the house more and walk places. Then simply just speak to strangers, make off comments about the weather, their dogs, cars etc. This is much easier to do locally, but if you have no neighbours around you then you'll have to drive. Visit the same place when you go for a walk too, you'll start seeing the same people and before you know it they'll say hello when they see you.

Eventually it's like clockwork and you'll just end up saying hi to everyone walking towards you. There's people like myself who will talk to anyone for ages, when you come across them make sure you ask their names before you leave, the next time you see them you can greet them with "hi Dave, good to see you again" they most likely won't remember your name so just remind them. Then it will just end up being a form of repetition, say you got to the park for a walk every day at 6pm, you'll start recognising those who do the same. Those are the people you can easily get to know, eventually if you are both getting on well then you can just ask to be invited somewhere. "If you need an extra person, just let me know" or "If you need help with moving that shed Dave, just let me know".

Repetition will be your best method, even at the gym, start having small chats with the people you see regularly, offer to help people and genuinely listen to what they have to say. Then it's just a matter of time. Being funny helps too quicken the process.

Just put yourself out there!

Objective_Area3253 · 2026-03-29T17:15:58+00:00

How can you be lonely when you have god with you? Best advice I’ve heard in a long time. Stay blessed ✝️

WhoCaresAnyway83 · 2026-03-30T02:10:58+00:00

Work on yourself, get as much education as you can. Go to the gym, open a business. Do for you. Nobody sticks around anyway, in the end, all you have is yourself. Do you !

ArmitageShanks69 · 2026-03-30T12:25:22+00:00

Wow, my life is practically identical to yours, work>gym>home>repeat, though I'm 30 years older than you and like to listen to philosophy audiobooks. I live in a market town in the UK, that's not to say there is a lack of opportunity for people to potentially hook up, only there's no hope for an older introvert exiled from the dating pool.

Foreverseeking47 · 2026-03-29T10:43:45+00:00

You seem self-aware, smart and you articulate. All of this is good but people value having fun over most other things. My advice would be to first take pride in what I've already accomplished but also acknowledge deeply how otger parts of my life have been neglected and make it an absolute priority to deal with.

You HAVE to move as I don't think commiting to regular trips to the city is realistic. In the meantime you can still take advantage of the few times you can interact with humans in general. Get better at talking, projecting your voice, joking around and just being in different social situations to expose your nervous system so it can understand that you can express yourself freely and feel relaxed and like you belong there. Chances are, if you don't even have friends, your social skills are a bit rusty or undeveloped, this isn't gonna change if you don't but you know that already. You have no choice but to deal with this head on. Be unapologetically self-forgiving for everything in your past, accept where you are right now FULLY, understand how short your life is and all the beautiful things life has to offer and move forward. Good luck!

Eloyoley · 2026-03-29T18:36:55+00:00

50 minutes is not a great distance. Even in Big cities (London, Madrid) you need almost 30 minutes in the Subway. In my case my main place where i practice nightgame are two cities, i spent 35 and 50 minutes in the trip. 100 minutes, with podcast or música, every saturday, is not too much. It's a mental limit that you've created.

Junior-Ingenuity-973 · 2026-03-30T09:19:28+00:00

lol the rolls and drive time make you not wanna go to the city? That is wild.

Spirited_Climate3346 · 2026-04-13T17:23:33+00:00

You know what? I would love to get to know you. As a woman, I can definitely help you find the answers you need. Let’s talk.

Title	Advice for a loner?
Author	KosmicKev__
Upvotes	37
Comments	31
Date	March 29, 2026 2:55 AM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1s6jsv7/advice_for_a_loner/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/advice-for-a-loner.1576615 https://theredarchive.com/post/1576615

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