What are the opinions on this sub on asking concretely for consent the first time you try something? In what situations, for what?
Since the beginning I have almost always asked before if she wants to kiss first. I usually ask this in an intimate situation, when we are both cuddling and have our faces closer together.
The sexual harassment and rape culture of females has put an enormous amount of shame and pressure on men and I found that asking before is a way of avoiding this. Trying something without asking is something that could potentially ruin one's reputation nowadays. I had mine ruined before for simply grabbing a girls waist, while we were cuddling and she was hugging me all the time normally. Fucking crazy shit.
On the other hand, being overly careful won't get you anywhere likely. In the country I live in, however, I have found that displaying my interest too overtly has worked out quite poorly in the past. "Showing intent" has ended in disaster for me, unless I show intent right before sex, when the girl is warmed up and at my place. She is sitting on the couch and as I come back from the toilet for example, I lean over her and hold my face close to her.
I find that "dangling the carrot in her face" has worked for me. Move in close enough that she has desire but do not do anything. Keep close but move back. Even while having sex I like kissing her, stopping and then just teasing her and looking at how hard she tries. It gives me immense pleasure engineering a situation where the girl is in a place where she has to try.
What about kino? How do you do it so it's not creepy or stuff? Usually when I kino girls it's at the point where we're cuddling already and at the point where we're already cuddling I just communicate using touch, not words.
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