Can a somewhat feminine guy still be alpha?

nycprowl · 2014-03-18T18:47:32+00:00

I hate the whole alpha/beta bullshit because people here obsess over it, but it's all about attitude. You could be gay, a woman, etc and still be what most people here would consider "alpha"

I don't care if you're wearing a dress, if you have the attitude that you do it because you want to and don't give a shit what people think, that's alpha as fuck.

So you like styling your hair and picking out your clothes. If you're worried what others think of that, and let it get to you if they call you gay, then that's not alpha. If you don't give a shit what they think, then it is. I don't really follow him, but mystery fucking wears nail polish, but doesn't care and probably pulls more girls than anyone here.

Delightful_White · 2014-03-18T17:38:45+00:00

There's nothing wrong with wanting to look your best, be clean, have nice hair, etc.

But there's a fine line, when wanting to be good looking turns into you being a narcissistic douche bag who's concern for his hair outweighs the concerns of more important things. Don't be that guy.

NotThatDroid · 2014-03-18T17:42:02+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Yaus · 2014-03-18T17:40:17+00:00

Styling your hair and maintaining basic hygiene doesnt automatically make you a beta/metrosexual.

Picking out flamboyant or overly unique outfits and hairstyles can be pretty detrimental to attaining an alpha image and classified by some as "gay."

If you want to feel alpha, lift (if you dont already). Just being strong and fit will get you laid with the right approach.

RandianHero · 2014-03-18T18:43:30+00:00

I'd say you can. I think the trick is to make sure you're not giving too much of a fuck about it. There's nothing wrong with taking care of yourself and making sure you look/smell good, but if you're spending an hour in the bathroom styling your hair and moisturizing like a chick, you're probably overdoing it.

A guy who primps and pampers himself more than a woman is kind of a joke.

HappyJerk · 2014-03-18T18:41:17+00:00

Girls generally like guys that have a feminine side, so that's a plus. An important part of being alpha is not giving a fuck what anybody thinks. Just don't let your feminine side take away from your masculinity: are you in shape? are you confident? are you scare of other guys? IF not, you're fine.

WhiteCastleHo · 2014-03-18T18:55:24+00:00

Turn this question upside down. Do women want to be with a guy who doesn't pick out nice clothes, doesn't practice basic hygiene, and doesn't keep a decent haircut? No. At least, not in my area.

joshsway · 2014-03-18T18:59:39+00:00

Looks are in the eye of the beholder .. some women like that look, some don't.

lord_of_vader · 2014-03-18T19:38:20+00:00

Absolutely.

My best friend would fit the "metro" stereotype to a T. Textbook, even. He's got the trendy glasses, large, swept up hair that requires a shelf of product and almost a half hour to get perfect, nice clothes, and a slim, sleek physique. Guess what? He gets laid like it's his job.

He took both his girls home this weekend (one Friday night, the other Saturday night) and still got two numbers at the bar that weekend. Christ.

kifn2 · 2014-03-18T20:03:33+00:00

Yes.

Adalheidis_ · 2014-03-18T20:27:32+00:00

Long story short: yes. Looks is just a stepping stone to alpha, but it is your attitude that makes the miles to alpha. You can still be teasing; neg girls they don't know how to do their hair, and they suck in push ups. If you hear girls gossip outside the club just join them with a "ah yeah.. those jeans really don't go with that blouse, and I mean... those shoes? really? Even I wouldn't do that, despite I look good in heels". Note that this is a pretty extreme example, but it should get the idea vivid.

Please be aware; if they expect you gay/metro, you will as well appear less treating. Hell, I have abused my gay-ish look/movement in gay bars to start easy talk with girls (and their female straight friends that come along) only to have them find out I am not gay, far after the hooking point.

So, yeah, you definitely can be the alpha, but I fear you visualize an alpha on pumped upper arms, beard, a rough look rather then the clever (sometimes a bit annoying) guy with the good solid and swift talking that raises the giggles and laughs instead of the dominance by pure visual presents. Both are an aspect of alpha, apply it as you desire : ).

NotThatDroid · 2014-03-18T22:12:25+00:00

Not a problem at all. Styling issues are irrelevant to being attractive to women, although they may encourage AMOGs as they see an easy target. Doesn't mean they can hurt you, though.

The "dandy", the "feminine" playboy, is a long entrenched archetype of seduction. You can google the phrase and you'll find 18th century guys who spent hours on their appearances and were not at all physically intimidating but were alpha males. They did it largely on their wit, by being better speakers and embarrassing other guys who challenged them that way.

Youtube Russell Brand and you'll see probably the best modern day dandy. The guy wears tight pants, has ridiculous hair (or did in 2008) and is an absolute alpha male who had so much sex he had to go into a sex addiction place. He is an incredible PUA and is actually aware of the scene, though he's a natural.

Sileniced · 2014-03-19T02:02:21+00:00

OK so let me get this straight... You are a metro in appearance and behavior [totally acceptable in my book]. People pick on you, because you are metro [less acceptable]. You get a low self-esteem [understandable], which ultimately leads to more teasing [fucking downwards spiral fuck].

The solution seems simple. Get a better self-esteem and the teasing stops. The spiral will be broken. It's up to you to find your ground to a better self-esteem.

Your thoughts and ideas about being a metro - and what it can achieve - is what defines you. Be your own definition of alpha. It's about recognizing and maintaining that unique alpha feeling that only you can experience.

georger25 · 2014-03-19T02:38:31+00:00

One of the greatest pick up artist a few years ago was Mystery. He called what you do peacocking, attracting attention through not only looking good but looking strange. Eyeliner, colored nails, silly hats and clothes. This guys kill count is in the hundreds. You just have to see what works for you.

bssameer · 2014-03-19T13:08:56+00:00

Of course you can still be alpha! Being metro has nothing to do with it.

Apex_of_Attraction · 2014-03-19T20:36:34+00:00

Hey NotThatDroid,

Awesome question!

When we use the term "Alpha" the main distinction that we're making is whether you are assertive vs submissive. You can look after your looks and even embody feminine traits and still be attractive.

Being an attractive man is about acting the way you want to, instead of reacting to how other people see you.

It's "Alpha" to express yourself the way you are instead of being stifled and trying to be somebody you're not to be approved of by others.

Self-acceptance is crucial. So glad you recognize that. You're acceptance of the way you are is going to be sub-communicated to others. This is one of the most important traits.

Finally, you don't need to be Alpha in the aggressive, posturing, domineering in the traditional sense to be attractive. Think about any one you know in a relationship. 1% are probably Alpha so you don't need to be alpha to get a girlfriend.

The whole association between alpha and being an attractive high value man is something that has been a mis-education that has circulated throughout the dating industry. Think of it like this. If Brad Pitt or George Clooney were more ALPHA would they be more or less attractive? I can't speak on behalf of women, but my guess would be less.

Darragh, Apex of Attraction http://apexofattraction.weebly.com

Great_Dane89 · 2014-03-20T05:36:49+00:00

Lookup Neil Strauss. Problem solved =D

2014-03-18T17:36:47+00:00

Daniel Tosh and Moshe Kashner spring to mind as good role models.

crazymusicman · 2014-03-18T19:42:28+00:00

Feminine is not a look, it is an act (or rather habit). Masculine/"alpha" is also an act. I would suggest checking out this video.

Also I feel I should add that feeling comfortable is much more important than being alpha. Women love stability.

Title	Can a somewhat feminine guy still be alpha?
Author	NotThatDroid
Upvotes	7
Comments	29
Date	March 18, 2014 5:25 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/20qdo7/can_a_somewhat_feminine_guy_still_be_alpha/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/can-a-somewhat-feminine-guy-still-be-alpha.1367745 https://theredarchive.com/post/1367745

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