Can you explain me something from No More Mr. Nice Guy?

invictus849 · 2016-07-06T00:07:22+00:00

I think I can help. I did his men's group for a summer, which was very helpful at the time.

The point of learning to please yourself is to get away from focusing on pleasing everyone else first. The main idea he states about nice-guy contracts (I forget the exact term), is that if I do this thing, then girls will like me.

So what you're saying with your idea to dress yourself well is: If I dress well, then girls will be attracted to me. That isn't good because you're assuming the reaction instead of focusing on what you like to do.

Women (and all people) are attracted to men who are confident and passionate. Therefore, dress yourself well because you hold that standard to yourself, and because you enjoy dressing yourself well.

Dress yourself well and work out because that's the basis of looking and feeling good. Do other things that you enjoy because you enjoy them, not because you want other peoples' approval that you do them. Be proud of yourself. Be passionate about the things you like. If other people don't like what you are passionate about, then tell them to fuck off. Be proud of you

MaliceRhino · 2016-07-05T23:42:35+00:00

Maybe think of it in terms of "How does my relationship with clothes demonstratethat I give a shit about myself?"

examples:

At the end of the day, I put away my clothes or put them in the laundry basket rather than throwing them in a pile on my floor. This is because I give a shit about taking care of my possessions and my living space.
I wear clean, neat clothes rather than dirty, wrinkly clothes. This is because I give a shit about how I look and smell.
I budget enough money and time to buy the clothes that are appropriate for my current job and to dress for the position I might want to advance to next. This is because I give a shit about my finances, my time, and my career

Note that these aren't because I give a shit about what people think when they come into my clean room, or give a shit about what people think about how I look, or think that buying clothes can buy self-esteem or respect at work (although actually, I do give a shit about these things.) I'm framing this as "In everything I do, I demonstrate that I give a shit about MYSELF."

Gamma_Male_ · 2016-07-06T02:58:29+00:00

Imagine you're a parent and you're taking care of your kid. You will dress him up and give him a nice haircut not because you want other people's approval but because you love that kid and you think he deserves the best. Now replace that kid with yourself.

pacg · 2016-07-06T01:38:04+00:00

He means take pride in your appearance. The way you dress and how you keep up your appearance overall informs on your attitude and spirit. When you dress well, when you wear a fitted, tailored suit, you'll find yourself walking around differently. You'll engage people confidently. They'll engage you respectfully.

Building on your example of walking around naked, imagine the difference in your walk if you look and feel fit as opposed to paunchy and soft.

Simply, you want to get your shit together so you feel good. Whether or not it impresses some woman is largely incidental.

streetparker · 2016-07-06T04:32:29+00:00

OP, most of the "explanations" are BS here. You got it already right. The author is simply contradicting himself.

Yes, you dress to impress others. If you don't, then you might as well walk around in sweatpants and wife beater. I'm comfortable in those clothes, I don't think I look bad, but I don't walk around in them because I know I'll be judged and I know women will not like it. So if I want action, I need to dress accordingly and groom myself instead of being a slob.

So yes, you do have to dress to impress. That's just the reality of our society. And if you want to fit in this society, you have to play by the rules. You cannot just walk in there with all your confidence and "I don't give a shit what you think" attitude; it doesn't work. It only looks good in a book. All other advice is simple fairy tale BS.

People don't know how to employ rationale and look through a prism of objectivity. They're brainwashed by these romanticized ideas of what you should or could be as an independent person, but they forget that we live around people, and we directly depend on those people. We're all interconnected.

Manwhorelio · 2016-07-06T08:35:41+00:00

Sure this is easy to explain..

So as an example, a LOT of guys hate on other guys when they wear clothes that dramatically show off their physique or otherwise draw attention to themselves. It's slandered as "douchebag" behavior. Things like wearing wife beaters, or spiking your hair up, or wearing anything that is even slightly exorbitant or draws attention to yourself will inspire resentment even hatred from other men.

But it's FAKE. Disparaging the competition is actually a very common male mating strategy, in fact sadly enough it's actually normal. As soon as a male who exists in a lower emotional and mental paradigm sees that another man has the confidence to dress provocatively when he himself cannot, he will attempt to defame it, IF HE CAN.

Now.. "confident" guys have NO issues dressing in a way that draws female attention to themselves. In fact they've learned positive associations with it and so genuinely enjoy expressing themselves in this fashion. So they're FAMILIAR with it. In your case you're basically stating you haven't made these mental/emotional associations quite yet.

Are there particular styles of dress that you've been drawn to but never tried out? What about jewelry of some sort? Or a hairstyle? Something you WANT to try but simply haven't yet.

LaurenceB · 2016-07-06T03:40:42+00:00

Dress in a way that makes you feel the best, that feels right. Are you a preppy golfer, do you like cars, lifting weights, fishing, licking buttholes? Dress for the lifestyle you live (just make sure your clothes fit you appropriately and you dont look like you just crawled out of a dumpster).

crash1082 · 2016-07-06T16:18:41+00:00

I don't know about you, but when I take a little more time to dress well I feel a hell of a lot better. Every time I get a haircut my self-confidence goes through the roof. It's just about taking care of the way you look, it will make you feel better. Working out releases endorphins which make you feel better.

You don't have to necessarily spend money on nice clothes, although expensive clothes will sometimes look better and hold up more. Girls don't usually care if your pants were 50$ or 500$ as long as they look good (and if they do you probably don't want to date them anyways). You need to find a good style. I don't know how old you are, body type, but you can get good clothes that girls will find attractive for a reasonable price.

totes-muh-gotes · 2016-07-06T17:47:57+00:00

The thing I can't really grasp is how do I dress well to impress myself

Do you have an image of yourself (in your head) that you like and makes you feel confident? Dress to that image. Have a shirt or a jacket you look really good in, or pants that fit just right? Or shoes that look awesome while helping you stand tall? Focus on what you like about those particular pieces of clothing and create outfits that support that look. Its really about showing you are putting effort into being the best version of yourself--which is an ever evolving process, but one to be respected beyond picking up women. Have fun with it, too.

deejay_1 · 2016-07-05T23:26:18+00:00

Clothes that fit > everything else.

Title	Can you explain me something from No More Mr. Nice Guy?
Author	Molni96
Upvotes	85
Comments	39
Date	July 5, 2016 10:58 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4rfeoo/can_you_explain_me_something_from_no_more_mr_nice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/can-you-explain-me-something-from-no-more-mr-nice.1409164 https://theredarchive.com/post/1409164

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