[19M], very socially anxious, but sick of being a b**ch

The approaches:

I went downtown, and walked the sidewalks next to the bars, shops etc.

The first girl I approached, I was walking up to her, literally stumbled over a tree branch that was on the ground, she turned around and looked at me, I said hello, walked all the way up to her, and said she was cute. Even though I probably looked like an absolute idiot, she was flattered that I complimented her, I said some dumb shit like “do you have a Snapchat or something” fucking facepalm and she showed me her ring. I wasn’t even upset, we just both laughed and said farewell. I could tell it made her happy so that was a W in my eyes.

Girl #2, I thought was very attractive. I was walking opposite to her and her friend on the sidewalk. I actually saw her friend first, then looked at her , said hey excuse me, and did a 180 and started walking beside them while talking. I had no idea what to do.“Hey I don’t do this often so I’m nervous, I looked at her but I think you are really cute”.

She smiled, her eyes lit up, and said thank you, I asked for her Snapchat (okay before this next part I probably should mention that before these interactions I was under the impression that asking for a number may be too invasive, and I don’t use Insta, so I went for Snapchat, which is stupid. I will always ask for the number from now on)

Her friend said “oh he asked for Snapchat that’s a no from me.” She said it sort of jokingly but not really at the same time. I didn’t know what to say lmao. It was at this point I took a second look at the girls and realized they were likely 3-5 years older than me hahaha. The girl I approached then said playfully, “no my number is what you meant to ask for, I’ll give you my number“ I gave her my phone, she put it in, she then asked for my name, I asked for hers, we shook hands, said goodnight, and parted ways.

The girl I approached clearly at least found me physically attractive, but I think I fucked it up by

1 completely forgetting to even acknowledge her friend. DO NOT DO THIS. It makes me cringe when I think about it. Saying hey you are cute to one girl but saying nothing to the other one could definitely be seen as rude. Jesus, I won’t be doing that again.

2 asking for Snapchat likely came of as immature and revealed that I am younger.

3 since I was nervous and basically paralyzed I sort of let her take the lead of the interaction, I am not sure if she cared since I was nervous, but I don’t think it’s ideal either.

On the bright side I learned that maybe I’m not as ugly as I sometimes think I am, I learned that it’s not as scary as i thought it was. If you have anxiety and catastrophize like I do, and you haven’t approached, you assume that you will be harshly rejected, seen as a creep, and humiliated by people around you. That’s what I was expecting but it didn’t happen. And even if it does at some point, you’ll be fine.

I plan on making this a part of my life. I will approach at least once a week to start. For the first few months I’ll only do it at night because it feels easier for me, and eventually I’ll just do it everywhere (within reason) even when it’s day time.

Overall, an awesome experience. I’m so glad I did it. I’m extremely proud of myself. My self respect changed dramatically literally the next day, I no longer view myself as a ‘b**ch’ because if I was I would never do something like that. I’m willing to face my fears, and that’s a powerful thing to know.

If you haven’t approached before and you have been considering doing it, this is your sign. Do it!!

Thank you for reading, also, any criticism on these approaches would be GREATLY appreciated, thank you!!!!

Edit: I noticed a few people are saying that I should not have went straight to asking for the number, but honestly I did it on purpose because right now I will look like an absolute fool standing there and trying to talk to her because of my nerves.

I figured for the first 10 or so approaches I could go straight for the number, that way I am mustering the courage, getting in there, and getting out. Maybe that’s still wrong, maybe if I was already there then I should have tried to make a connection. I think that what I’ll do next time even though I’ll have no idea what to say, so any tips on creating conversation would be really helpful, thank you!!