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[–][deleted] 35 points36 points37 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s a zero sum game and just like gambling, you shouldn’t play if you’re not prepared to lose.
[–]TheRealMe54321 106 points107 points108 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
This is honestly rapidly becoming the average male experience - don’t let anyone here invalidate it. It’s your life and I totally understand where you’re coming from.
The only thing I’d question is whether you’ve tried meeting women in person as opposed to online? Online dating is absolutely fucked and I have a suspicion that it selects for women who are hyper-picky. It also severely distorts your perception of your attractiveness because you’re competing with literally millions of other men.
[–]nalik95 15 points16 points17 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I second this OP. Not only that, you (OP) can truly show how genuinely selfless you are as a person. Can't do that over words. There are still women out there waiting for men to approach in person. I even had a woman whom I approached tell me that "no one ever does that anymore". I get most men are afraid of social consequences these days but you truly miss out on meeting great women. Most of these women are still feminine in nature and appreciate the masculine energy of a man going after what he wants.
[–]camxelite99 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Where did you approach her at?
[–]nalik95 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Night out, she'd been at a beer festival. She ditched her friends and was having time to herself. She was going through some shit and I noticed when I walked past she may have been upset talking to someone on the phone. Came walking back 30 mins later to see if she was still there and approached her.
She appreciated the compliment of her looking pretty tonight, not by words by how her face changed from looking upset to having her night made. I actually told her I thought she may have been crying too so that was another reason I decided to go talk to her. She admitted she was.
[–]Chabubu 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I've had a lot of friends slowly give up on relationships after a series of very bad ones.
Despite dating difficult women, lots of fights, abuse, etc, a common factor was that the men refused to acknowledge that they were also part of the problem. Since they took no responsibility, they didn't learn anything, and would repeat the same mistakes until they wrote off all women.
Also, "you attract what you are" is true. Well rounded, successful, level head, smart women don't want an average dude just as most guys also don't want the average girl.
A lot of men price themselves out of the market by setting standards they can't obtain...
Imagine every man said "I refuse to take a job that makes less than $200k" (despite never having held such a job before). You'd have a lot of unemployed men claiming that a bad job market is the reason they don't have any work...
[–]partyn3xtd00r6 -3 points-2 points-1 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Idk there was a guy on here the other day who makes $200k per year and has no success with women either so
[–]titanicx -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's really not the average make experience. That's incel speak.
[–]TheRealMe54321 -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Look up the statistics on the rapidly increasing numbers of sexless men over the past few years.
[–]H8beingmale 41 points42 points43 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
wouldn't surprise me if men are growing tired and resentful of having to court women and initiate with them
[+]Dangerous_Champion4234 points 3 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]H8beingmale 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I like women but women(not all but a majority) are either afraid, jealous or hostile towards men. They put in no energy into forming a relationship. I have to put up all the energy and resources. Women have supplied nothing outside of occasional sex. Nothing. It is sex or nothing. I like sex. It just isn't all I want. Never was. Whoever lied to women needs shot. I want a relationship. I want to share in lifes ups and downs with a committed partner. I don't want a partner who is going jump ship at the drop of the hat or is chasing after the unobtainable(6 ft tall, 6 Figure income, 6 pack....) almost nobody fits these standards. I don't want to be used for meals and to be someone's monkey branch. I also don't like being used for sex by married women.... It has happened more times then I care to admit in my past. I am not proud of those times. It makes me feel like a shitty person after I found out what was going on.
[–]Dangerous_Champion422 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I remember when they at least gave some effort into the relationships when I was in my 20's and I legitamately tried to make things work then too.It just didn't work out. It is just the last 8 years that that dissappeared. I have to litterally put all the work in. I tried Tinder back in 2008 and all I got was bored housewives. I have been trying to settle down since I was 32 and now at 40 I don't think it is goimg to happen. On the bright side I have 6 kids cept none of them know I am their father. Oldest one just turned 12. This is from me getting used by various Tinder dates when I was fitter and younger. When I was younger I had higher aspirations then ATM and Sperm donor. I expected an actual family, freinds, Date Nights, BBQs and Game Nights by now. Instead I get beer and Hungry Man Meals... cry about this crap online to strangers and to feel like I fell short in life while my Highschool freinds all got married. It sucks ass.
[–]Therocksays2020 15 points16 points17 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sounds like you need a long break. I won’t pretend dating isn’t complicated or difficult but it should not be transactional.
You don’t better yourself as a person for other people. You do it to be the best version of you.
Stop thinking if you do “this.” You will find love. Toe knows it doesn’t work that way
[–]Virtual_Judgment7147 14 points15 points16 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Look man, I feel you. It’s been so long that you couldn’t find a woman that you can call dearly your wife and have a family, it feels like the game has burned you out.
But you don’t have to call it quits. Since you are in the military it’s actually often harder to find someone that sticks. Since you often will be on long deployments with the risk of death, most women actually tend to avoid that. It doesn’t mean it’s the end though, as there are many military families which exist!!
Take a break yes and reflect on what happened in the last 15 years to see what went right and wrong, but don’t give up. Let me use your marines values to inspire you.
Honour, Courage and Commitment. You have honour, you want to do things the right way by wanting a committed, ethical and moral relationship. Courage, you have the mental and physical strength to face the worst of challenges and come out on top, so you will continuously learn and improve your game endlessly and relentlessly. Commitment, you are dedicated and determined for success, no matter what you will do you will keep facing rejection head on and keep pushing until you get what you seek, a loving woman.
Take a break, but I expect a brother in arms to come back from the trenches and finish the mission. You got that chief?
[–]AssistTemporary8422 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Some relationships were okay, some were bad, but none of them had that "spark" that I had with a few women I've met.
Most relationships lose that spark once the honeymoon stage is over. People need to stop demanding Disney movie levels of romance and just find a decent partner they find attractive enough.
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]justadudechllin2 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Brother you’ll lose that chemistry. Your grandparents and parents are together and they know the entire chemistry is gone. It’s only about companionship at that point and making each other’s life better, easier.
[–]norwegiandoggo 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What a sad read. Wish you all the best and I hope you'll find paths to improve your life
[–]AcedtheTuringTest 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
When working out at the gym or wherever, focus on the benefits solely for you; better strength, faster speed, improved appearance, more energy, better sleep, better health. The favorable effects of attention gained from this is a secondary, a perk, a part of the bonus of being fit and health. Hell, even if I lived alone in the mountains in a cabin for the rest of my life, I would still be hauling trees up and down hillsides ('Rocky IV-ing it').
That being said, I absolutely understand what it is your feeling and empathize greatly. It's exceedingly difficult for a man to find some semblance of a worthy partner; it's depressingly lonely and frustrating.
That being said, if you give up, you definitely won't find someone who fulfills you as much as you do them. It's like the lottery; you're going to lose, a lot, but if you don't play, you absolutely won't win.
You're going to have to sift through the flooded neighborhood garbage and you're going to find a lot of floating crap, but somewhere in that mess, there's an unopened can of delicious Fanta Orange. It may not be the one can you waited your entire life for, but you're going to enjoy the shit out of it.
[–]Repulsive-Fee393 14 points15 points16 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Have a drink and chill out dude
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
[+]Repulsive-Fee393 -37 points-36 points-35 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Well don’t drink to extreme, drink in moderation. Don’t drink to get drunk, just loosen up a little. I’ve been a very good boy lately, I opened up a bottle of courvoisier 4 days ago and I’ve only had 2 shots a night, old me would’ve polished that bastard off on day 1.
[–]jblumz 32 points33 points34 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
How about not encouraging drinking to someone who doesn’t want to?
[+]Repulsive-Fee393 -24 points-23 points-22 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
How about I’ll say what I want to say and he can make up his own mind like a big boy.
[–]jblumz 16 points17 points18 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Seems like he already did and you’re encouraging him to go against his own decision.
[+]Repulsive-Fee393 -13 points-12 points-11 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Lol you should also have a drink
[–]jblumz 10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Based on the downvotes you’re getting, maybe it’s time for you to stop giving advice on reddit.
I digress, no sense in arguing with a drunk. Enjoy your day!
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dating in general is emotionally, mentally, and physically taxing. It sounds like you need a break from it. It’s okay to take breaks when you need. Are there shitty people out there 💯, you have to learn to just shake it off and move on. It’s not easy but if you really want that happy ending you unfortunately have to shift through all the garbage out there. I have a lot of friends women and men in your situation and their shifting through the muck too. And they’re good decent kind people so know that your someone is probably out there fed up and looking too. It’s always good to focus on yourself. Just don’t let a few assholes ruin everything for you
[–]Kronuk 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Lol sounds like you were sold on the American dream. Wake up buddy it’s all a fabrication. Nobody is guaranteed a wife and kids. Nobody is guaranteed to succeed. Nobody is guaranteed to live until tomorrow. The world tries to sell you on these important milestones, but all of that was created by society. There is no set course for anybody’s life. The time it takes to do anything will differ. The only way you can fail is to stop trying.
[–]Sleepyjosh 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Poster has a point. Nobody is guaranteed anything. I’m always trying to keep that in mind when things don’t go the way I want them to in my mind. Life is as it is. There is deep peace in that. I do wish you the best and blessings to find someone who fits you.
[–]Kronuk 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well not a bad idea. You can’t force a girl to be wife material. She has to prove to you that she is.
[–]snooocrash 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hey dude thanks for posting this. Yes it’s different for everyone. I had the white fence house , kids thing … got divorced and let me tell you it isn’t easy that way either. Life is just hard sometimes 🤷♂️
[–]Fearofthedark88 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Props bro. Live for yourself, you have one life to live. Who knows, some lady might fit in with your lifestyle down the line and it all works out anyway.
[–]60yearoldME 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don’t mean this in a negative way: you don’t see the world how it is... you see the world as YOU are.
[–]bigplaneboeing737 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The average modern woman has no value if I’m being honest. There’s a lot of loser men out there too, but it’s genuinely hard to find a wholesome girl worth investing in. My last few dating experiences were short lived because I knew I was just getting some other guy’s scraps after she had her “fun” era.
I seemed happier just pumping and dumping whores a few times a year while working on myself, career, and spending time with friends and family.
[–]ofangels12 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
word more bitches for me
[–]sylveonalmighty 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You can always adopt and have kids for yourself. Why be with someone that could potentially just straight up leave you and deal with a broken family when you could adopt and have a family. Plus if someone does end up coming along you always have the upper hand of saying “What are your experiences with kids? Are you good with kids? I have a kid. Are you prepared for motherhood? If not, I raised them myself and don’t need a partner to do something I can handle myself.” Something like that.
[–]sylveonalmighty 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you truly wanted to have a kid, you’d do anything in your power to have one for yourself, and if you think someone’s life is a game then you’re not ready to have a kid. You want a nuclear family but what you just said was seriously toxic af so why would a woman with the same mentality I just talked about be a family with someone who’s not ready to have one. Especially since you say you’re getting older. It sounds like you need to go through some kind of mid-life crisis in order to truly appreciate the options that you have. I sorta feel the same way you do. I also want a nuclear family and for a long time I wasn’t okay with adopting or whatever. Then I got my heart shattered after moving across the country for this new life I was going to share together. We tried for kids but honestly I’m glad we ended up not having any because she would’ve broken our family and then there would’ve been custody battles to file and the kid would’ve had to move across the country every year or two because both parents (probably idk about her) would want to raise our kid. That’s when I decided I couldn’t count on anybody else to help me raise the children that I want and that I’m either adopting a baby or I’m gonna ask one of my friends if I can have a baby with them full custody no child support or just knock up some random bitch with a written agreement that I want full custody no child support or some shit that I’d have a lawyer look at and say is legit. Idk dude like I said the healthiest way is adopting a baby.
[–]Kbig22 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s always the ones that do not reciprocate.
[–]distawest 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Respect for your service in the marines and dedication to the gym
Despite your rich experience you seem quite disappointed
I believe that life is more than love and relationships, without degrading their importance of course. .. the meaning has to be inside you
[–]ChicoBrillo -3 points-2 points-1 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Joker moment
[–]spacemangoes -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
talk to women IRL. you might not get the family you dreamt of but, you might find someone who loves you. or not! Always better to take a shot. That being said, I feel you brother. As you have such low expectations, you would be unphased even if the women you like doesn't like you back. move on. such is life.
[+]omega05 -13 points-12 points-11 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Another jaded guy who's done with dating because he did not find a woman worthy enough to call his wife
This is r/seduction, I dont think most guys on here are looking for marriage
[–]Physical_Cattle7261 -2 points-1 points0 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh nooo
[+]xusheng2 -17 points-16 points-15 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Quit bitching
[–]Intelligent-Dingo-64 -2 points-1 points0 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Guys before u complain try cold approach and day game ,fuck society, try to meet real ppl not just digital sl*ts
[–]justanother-eboy -2 points-1 points0 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Hey man I feel your pain as dating is very unfair for men. One thing that has helped me big time mindset wise and to even be more attractive and different is being indifferent to outcome.
Nowadays I don’t care about sex or girls. That doesn’t mean you don’t want sex or a gf you just don’t care about the results themselves. This will allow you to be yourself more, be more free, and more attractive since you don’t care about this or that and you’re just living your life and you’re happy whatever happens
Besides if you stop caring you don’t give away your power and let women control your happiness
[–]IamWisdom -2 points-1 points0 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bro there's no such thing as true love. Just go fuck and date and maybe you'll find somebody that you can't live without
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[–][deleted] 35 points36 points37 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheRealMe54321 106 points107 points108 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]nalik95 15 points16 points17 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]camxelite99 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]nalik95 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Chabubu 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]partyn3xtd00r6 -3 points-2 points-1 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]titanicx -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]TheRealMe54321 -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]H8beingmale 41 points42 points43 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[+]Dangerous_Champion4234 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]H8beingmale 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Dangerous_Champion422 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Therocksays2020 15 points16 points17 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Virtual_Judgment7147 14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AssistTemporary8422 8 points9 points10 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]justadudechllin2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]norwegiandoggo 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AcedtheTuringTest 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Repulsive-Fee393 14 points15 points16 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (6 children) | Copy Link
[+]Repulsive-Fee393 -37 points-36 points-35 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]jblumz 32 points33 points34 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[+]Repulsive-Fee393 -24 points-23 points-22 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]jblumz 16 points17 points18 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[+]Repulsive-Fee393 -13 points-12 points-11 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]jblumz 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Kronuk 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sleepyjosh 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Kronuk 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]snooocrash 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fearofthedark88 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]60yearoldME 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bigplaneboeing737 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ofangels12 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]sylveonalmighty 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]sylveonalmighty 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kbig22 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]distawest 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ChicoBrillo -3 points-2 points-1 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]spacemangoes -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]omega05 -13 points-12 points-11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Physical_Cattle7261 -2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]xusheng2 -17 points-16 points-15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Intelligent-Dingo-64 -2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]justanother-eboy -2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IamWisdom -2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link