After 15 years of being in the dating pool, I'm finally calling it quits.

2022-10-23T19:50:56+00:00

It’s a zero sum game and just like gambling, you shouldn’t play if you’re not prepared to lose.

TheRealMe54321 · 2022-10-23T19:32:43+00:00

This is honestly rapidly becoming the average male experience - don’t let anyone here invalidate it. It’s your life and I totally understand where you’re coming from.

The only thing I’d question is whether you’ve tried meeting women in person as opposed to online? Online dating is absolutely fucked and I have a suspicion that it selects for women who are hyper-picky. It also severely distorts your perception of your attractiveness because you’re competing with literally millions of other men.

H8beingmale · 2022-10-23T19:46:36+00:00

wouldn't surprise me if men are growing tired and resentful of having to court women and initiate with them

Therocksays2020 · 2022-10-23T19:25:09+00:00

Sounds like you need a long break. I won’t pretend dating isn’t complicated or difficult but it should not be transactional.

You don’t better yourself as a person for other people. You do it to be the best version of you.

Stop thinking if you do “this.” You will find love. Toe knows it doesn’t work that way

Virtual_Judgment7147 · 2022-10-23T20:22:05+00:00

Look man, I feel you. It’s been so long that you couldn’t find a woman that you can call dearly your wife and have a family, it feels like the game has burned you out.

But you don’t have to call it quits. Since you are in the military it’s actually often harder to find someone that sticks. Since you often will be on long deployments with the risk of death, most women actually tend to avoid that. It doesn’t mean it’s the end though, as there are many military families which exist!!

Take a break yes and reflect on what happened in the last 15 years to see what went right and wrong, but don’t give up. Let me use your marines values to inspire you.

Honour, Courage and Commitment. You have honour, you want to do things the right way by wanting a committed, ethical and moral relationship. Courage, you have the mental and physical strength to face the worst of challenges and come out on top, so you will continuously learn and improve your game endlessly and relentlessly. Commitment, you are dedicated and determined for success, no matter what you will do you will keep facing rejection head on and keep pushing until you get what you seek, a loving woman.

Take a break, but I expect a brother in arms to come back from the trenches and finish the mission. You got that chief?

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-10-23T20:45:54+00:00

Some relationships were okay, some were bad, but none of them had that "spark" that I had with a few women I've met.

Most relationships lose that spark once the honeymoon stage is over. People need to stop demanding Disney movie levels of romance and just find a decent partner they find attractive enough.

norwegiandoggo · 2022-10-23T19:50:26+00:00

What a sad read. Wish you all the best and I hope you'll find paths to improve your life

AcedtheTuringTest · 2022-10-23T20:37:21+00:00

When working out at the gym or wherever, focus on the benefits solely for you; better strength, faster speed, improved appearance, more energy, better sleep, better health. The favorable effects of attention gained from this is a secondary, a perk, a part of the bonus of being fit and health. Hell, even if I lived alone in the mountains in a cabin for the rest of my life, I would still be hauling trees up and down hillsides ('Rocky IV-ing it').

That being said, I absolutely understand what it is your feeling and empathize greatly. It's exceedingly difficult for a man to find some semblance of a worthy partner; it's depressingly lonely and frustrating.

That being said, if you give up, you definitely won't find someone who fulfills you as much as you do them. It's like the lottery; you're going to lose, a lot, but if you don't play, you absolutely won't win.

You're going to have to sift through the flooded neighborhood garbage and you're going to find a lot of floating crap, but somewhere in that mess, there's an unopened can of delicious Fanta Orange. It may not be the one can you waited your entire life for, but you're going to enjoy the shit out of it.

Repulsive-Fee393 · 2022-10-23T19:43:33+00:00

Have a drink and chill out dude

2022-10-23T20:15:35+00:00

Dating in general is emotionally, mentally, and physically taxing. It sounds like you need a break from it. It’s okay to take breaks when you need. Are there shitty people out there 💯, you have to learn to just shake it off and move on. It’s not easy but if you really want that happy ending you unfortunately have to shift through all the garbage out there. I have a lot of friends women and men in your situation and their shifting through the muck too. And they’re good decent kind people so know that your someone is probably out there fed up and looking too. It’s always good to focus on yourself. Just don’t let a few assholes ruin everything for you

2022-10-23T20:39:00+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Kronuk · 2022-10-23T20:45:35+00:00

Lol sounds like you were sold on the American dream. Wake up buddy it’s all a fabrication. Nobody is guaranteed a wife and kids. Nobody is guaranteed to succeed. Nobody is guaranteed to live until tomorrow. The world tries to sell you on these important milestones, but all of that was created by society. There is no set course for anybody’s life. The time it takes to do anything will differ. The only way you can fail is to stop trying.

snooocrash · 2022-10-23T20:54:01+00:00

Hey dude thanks for posting this. Yes it’s different for everyone. I had the white fence house , kids thing … got divorced and let me tell you it isn’t easy that way either. Life is just hard sometimes 🤷‍♂️

Fearofthedark88 · 2022-10-23T21:52:29+00:00

Props bro. Live for yourself, you have one life to live. Who knows, some lady might fit in with your lifestyle down the line and it all works out anyway.

60yearoldME · 2022-10-23T20:40:18+00:00

I don’t mean this in a negative way: you don’t see the world how it is... you see the world as YOU are.

bigplaneboeing737 · 2022-10-23T21:26:37+00:00

The average modern woman has no value if I’m being honest. There’s a lot of loser men out there too, but it’s genuinely hard to find a wholesome girl worth investing in. My last few dating experiences were short lived because I knew I was just getting some other guy’s scraps after she had her “fun” era.

I seemed happier just pumping and dumping whores a few times a year while working on myself, career, and spending time with friends and family.

ofangels12 · 2022-10-23T21:52:20+00:00

word more bitches for me

sylveonalmighty · 2022-10-23T20:58:20+00:00

You can always adopt and have kids for yourself. Why be with someone that could potentially just straight up leave you and deal with a broken family when you could adopt and have a family. Plus if someone does end up coming along you always have the upper hand of saying “What are your experiences with kids? Are you good with kids? I have a kid. Are you prepared for motherhood? If not, I raised them myself and don’t need a partner to do something I can handle myself.” Something like that.

Kbig22 · 2022-10-23T21:03:17+00:00

It’s always the ones that do not reciprocate.

distawest · 2022-10-23T21:43:01+00:00

Respect for your service in the marines and dedication to the gym

Despite your rich experience you seem quite disappointed

I believe that life is more than love and relationships, without degrading their importance of course. .. the meaning has to be inside you

ChicoBrillo · 2022-10-23T20:33:43+00:00

Joker moment

spacemangoes · 2022-10-23T20:59:45+00:00

talk to women IRL. you might not get the family you dreamt of but, you might find someone who loves you. or not! Always better to take a shot. That being said, I feel you brother. As you have such low expectations, you would be unphased even if the women you like doesn't like you back. move on. such is life.

omega05 · 2022-10-23T19:41:23+00:00

Another jaded guy who's done with dating because he did not find a woman worthy enough to call his wife

This is r/seduction, I dont think most guys on here are looking for marriage

Physical_Cattle7261 · 2022-10-23T21:33:09+00:00

Oh nooo

xusheng2 · 2022-10-23T20:11:12+00:00

Quit bitching

Intelligent-Dingo-64 · 2022-10-23T21:18:23+00:00

Guys before u complain try cold approach and day game ,fuck society, try to meet real ppl not just digital sl*ts

justanother-eboy · 2022-10-23T21:47:55+00:00

Hey man I feel your pain as dating is very unfair for men. One thing that has helped me big time mindset wise and to even be more attractive and different is being indifferent to outcome.

Nowadays I don’t care about sex or girls. That doesn’t mean you don’t want sex or a gf you just don’t care about the results themselves. This will allow you to be yourself more, be more free, and more attractive since you don’t care about this or that and you’re just living your life and you’re happy whatever happens

Besides if you stop caring you don’t give away your power and let women control your happiness

IamWisdom · 2022-10-23T22:16:56+00:00

Bro there's no such thing as true love. Just go fuck and date and maybe you'll find somebody that you can't live without

Title	After 15 years of being in the dating pool, I'm finally calling it quits.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	133
Comments	52
Date	October 23, 2022 7:13 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ybq929/after_15_years_of_being_in_the_dating_pool_im/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/after-15-years-of-being-in-the-dating-pool-im.1247851 https://theredarchive.com/post/1247851

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