I’ve gotten 70% over my approach anxiety. But the person I approach seems super bored and I can’t get out of interview mode.

TeddyKisss · 2022-10-23T18:40:11+00:00

It might have to do with your energy level.

I am bipolar and when I am manic, game is 10000% effortless for me. When I lived in Las Vegas, I would always have friends visit and they would tail me through the casino and I would walk around opening sets.....then I'd walk away in 5 minutes and open more sets. It was ridiculous. Several times I had the entire casino floor dancing (I got it going with a dance then people slowly started joining in).

Same guy (me), different mood and it's a nightmare. When I'm depressed it's absolutely impossible to approach.

I think a lot of it has to do with your confidence level. Women can sense when you lack confidence or vice versa.

When I was manic I would literally walk up to woman, say hi, then pick them up and walk a;way with them. I got away with so much because I had 1000% confidence.

Or I would ask them to take my picture, then walk next to a statue and pull my pants down while they took my picture.

It's amazing how much you can get away with when you are confident.

The exact opposite happens when I'm depressed -- I can barely say hello.

SaltLeader3687 · 2022-10-23T14:23:08+00:00

following because I have a similar problem. Only time approach works for me is when the girl is already super interested and starts asking me questions and acting all curious, otherwise its like pulling teeth

SharpAd3703 · 2022-10-23T20:32:38+00:00

Make statements

UnifiedField9000 · 2022-10-23T20:20:15+00:00

I’m gonna repost a comment I made somewhere else because it seems relevant to your “can’t get out of interview mode” part:

Watch Seinfeld. It may or may not be that funny to you, but the off the wall observations they make in the show in their conversations tend to be funny to most girls when you make the same observations in conversations. Your observations about societal trends, your pet peeves about people. Like “ it really annoys me how…” Done wrong it can feel and come across as negative and complaining, but if you keep to trivial topics it’s usually funny. For example I was talking to a girl the other day how I hate ads that try to sell an ordinary thing as an extraordinary thing. There was a Pizza Hut ad I’d seen on YouTube that said “finally a pizza that’s designed to be delivered hot and fresh”… What so all your other pizzas weren’t? This in itself isn’t hugely funny, especially not when you’re just reading it on reddit. But my annoyance about it made it funny to her. It does help if you are genuinely annoyed by the things you’re talking about, and not just acting for a joke. Also watch standup comedy to improve your timing and humour generally.

The other thing to do is to come up with a list of interesting things you do about yourself and write them down (only you’ll see it). Things like your hobbies, your interests, unusual or exciting experiences you’ve had. Then reframe each one into a “bait” sentence that can be dropped into conversation. The key is it has to be a bit vague so she feels the need to ask you more about it. For example, I used to be a tv cameraman, and I would say “I was out shooting the other day and” but not elaborate on what I meant by shooting. So she has to ask to find out. Or if you do jiujitsu or something you could stretch your shoulders a little and say “I hurt myself rolling last night” and she’ll likely ask what you mean by “rolling”.

The key is to get her asking questions about you, rather than you interviewing her. That way she will feel way more invested in the conversation and you won’t seem like every other dude who just “asks her about herself”

epimpstyle · 2022-10-23T14:51:32+00:00

I think it is a rule when you approach a woman: every time your friend will have bigger success than you :-))

When I'm going with my friends in town, I also have this feeling that all the girls are interested in the other person... maybe I'm right, maybe not...

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-10-23T21:50:19+00:00

Is your friend more attractive than you? Does he have a better emotional vibe than you and is funnier? Does he make more comments than asking questions or does he ask different questions?

TerminatorReborn · 2022-10-23T15:05:04+00:00

Only advice is to increase your energy (smile more, act excited, joke around) and maybe improve your looks. Sounds like your friend is straight up more attractive. Let's not kid ourselves here, your odds to get a good reaction when approaching are directly related on how you look.

Ursirname · 2022-10-23T23:45:22+00:00

Make fun of her responses, reframe, misinterpret, exaggerate. Also make jokes, quick ones that you don't have to spend a lot of time with (and figure out some fall back jokes for things like, "what do you do?", "where are you from?", etc. Pick out snippets of her conversation that stand out to you "you mentioned that you worked on a farm. Which horse is your favorite? And just saying, if you don't pull out some folding family photos all of the horse, I'll know it's all fake." This is basically an interaction I had today. I went a little more straight in the question, but joked when she pulled out her phone to show me.

OpenHeight6562 · 2022-10-23T15:01:43+00:00

Did you ask your friend waht he said to make her laugh? (and compared notes to waht you said). That seems an obvious first step

Though Maybe she just thought he was hot?

Majestic_Meal_5655 · 2022-10-23T17:14:54+00:00

If the girl don't like you she don't like you keep it moving.

Luckyyou00 · 2022-10-23T18:04:16+00:00

Solo game

Horror-Skirt7233 · 2022-10-23T18:32:21+00:00

Ask questions that most people don’t ask, they’re probably used to all those questions

thesumthesumthesum · 2022-10-23T19:24:24+00:00

Have things written on your phone as prompts to remind you!

forwardistheway · 2022-10-23T20:23:12+00:00

You aren’t bringing any sexual energy to the table. Yes you have the confidence to approach. But she senses you lack overall confidence as a whole.

cryptosis420 · 2022-10-24T01:38:20+00:00

Push pull my friend. I think your cute but im not sure if i like you.

NinjaTurtle2077 · 2022-10-24T04:10:00+00:00

Imo do it solo for success

Nullroute127 · 2022-10-24T05:16:29+00:00

It probably means you're being too platonic.

You need to get her to react emotionally. I'd start by exercising not responding to anything she says literally. Your job is to deliberately misinterpret, tease, and most importantly, not be butthurt.

You're not an accountant for some company, you crunch the numbers for a Latvian mob syndicate. You don't play chess, you hustled as a professional gambler until you were banned from all casinos west of the Mississippi. You're not from a family of attorneys, your mom is a professional massage recipient.

I'm not saying to lie, but to embellish your story so there's some element of truth and some element of hyperbole but clear that you're joking.

Find excuses to touch. Lean in to tell her a secret, arms around shoulder or small of back, your lips to her cheek. It doesn't matter what you say. You could do this drama and say, "I need to excuse myself to the restroom" whispered like you're telling her you want to fuck at the bar. If she has a tattoo on her arm/leg, touch near and say,"What's this about?" Or cold read, "Someone had to die for you to get this inked."

If she says something really surprising or isn't a social norm, you can pretend to be taken aback, "Really?!" As you walk away 8 feet, and turn back.

Basically, you want to give her a rollercoaster of emotion, positive and negative.

WanyCaleb · 2022-10-24T07:55:07+00:00

You gotta know how to make a pitch for yourself or sell yourself as a lover. Ever heard of pitch meetings, the channel, just do what the guy does(overall tone, mannerisms, body language and humor) but when approaching. Do that and have interesting stories. Rinse and repeat till you get good. Thank you and good night!

dividendje · 2022-10-28T17:58:14+00:00

Best thing is to start talking sexual.

That works for me as I am also kinda bland, dry and lower energy.

Title	I’ve gotten 70% over my approach anxiety. But the person I approach seems super bored and I can’t get out of interview mode.
Author	theburneraccountplz
Upvotes	61
Comments	53
Date	October 23, 2022 2:07 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ybimdp/ive_gotten_70_over_my_approach_anxiety_but_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/ive-gotten-70-over-my-approach-anxiety-but-the.1247867 https://theredarchive.com/post/1247867

Comments