A couple years ago I left my social circle back home to pursue my career in another state.

Now, years have passed and my career is going well but I have no social life.

I’ve gone out solo a couple times at the bars and made some friends, but then COVID hit and we don’t talk anymore and it’s embarrassing asking them to hang out all the time when everyone gives an excuse nowadays to me or ghosts me. So now I feel like I’m starting at 0 again.

I used to think think I just need to forget girls and friends for awhile to just focus on myself. I work full time and own a small e-commerce business. I tell myself I’ll quit my job once my e-commerce business takes off (after about two years of work it makes me about $1,000/mo pretty passively and this year I think I can make much more if I put in the time).

Now, I’m in my early thirties and I don’t think money is going to solve my problems anymore. I’m not confident I’ll have the social circle I always dreamed of once I can grow my e-commerce business so I’m my own boss. Maybe I’ll just be rich and lonely later instead of poor and lonely. I’m worried I’ll keep moving the goal post- after I get my small business rolling I might move the goal post again and say “when I get a nice condo I’ll date” or something along those lines. I’m tired of waiting until “I’m ready”, all my life I feel like I’ve been preparing to get ready for a girlfriend.

I’ve had a few ONS before, but never a GF

Making things worse is that the girls I’ve been texting have all ghosted me. I think if they don’t reply back it means they lost interest and I feel creepy and like a loser when I triple or quadruple text back. I don’t get it honestly. Things will go great, we’ll make plans, and then nothing the next day. I heard from PUA’s to never trust what a woman tells you over what she does and I hated to believe it was true until twice last month I had plans and promises to hang out with these two girls, but then nothing for some reason…

I’m so disillusioned that I honestly think I need leg extension surgery because I’m only 5’6”. In elevator shoes I’m 5’9”. With surgery I could be 6’0” in elevator shoes. ^ I know this is body dysmorphia though. As a man however, I can’t help but analyze all my problems logically because I keep getting ghosted.

What do I do? (I already go to the gym) I’m afraid I’m missing out on developing valuable social skills because I’m so selfish with my time. I’m working hard so life can be easy later, but it’s lonely grinding alone. I’d like to find a woman who can grow with me, not someone who wants me only after I have all the pretty and nice stuff.

I’m too tired with my full time job and small business to go out solo though. I feel like if I split my attention between the two I’ll get mediocre results out of both. Should I keep focusing on my small business and hope my life improves once I own my time and can do whatever I want because I built something that pays me a passive income? Does it get better or am I wasting my time?

Has anyone else gone through this?