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[–]norwegiandoggo 39 points40 points41 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Your idea is: It's about my looks or it's about my game.
This is a false distinction. Everything matters. Your looks AND your game.
There's nothing inherently wrong with your looks though. I think that's just an insecurity
[+]Mir_man -7 points-6 points-5 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yes of course you need both. I guess my question was if my looks were holding me back, of course I do think I have to work on my game.
[–]norwegiandoggo 15 points16 points17 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No, your looks aren't holding you back at all. I think you look better than me, and I have a shitload of success with women. Focus on what you can control
[–]Mir_man 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well thank you for the encouragement and kind words.
[–]CompetitionFair7686 22 points23 points24 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The fact that you asked already shows your poor self esteem. No, there is nothing wrong with your looks, you are looking good.
The problem is you change your attitude with the girls you like, you go from being a challenge, to being a chaser with the girls you like. You want to be liked by the girls you like whereas with the ones you don’t like you don’t care, and that “i don’t care” attitude is what makes you more attractive. As soon as you start caring, you lose your charm.
So you need to not give a fuck about the girls you like, thinking badly of you, you should not try to impress them at all, you should not try to earn their validation or approval…
You need to be willing to piss girls you like off for fun, you need to be willing to provoke them for fun, and to be silly with them… You must not try to justify yourself, or try to win her over.
[–]ResponsibilityKey427 -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well he becomes the chase because hot girls have high SMV. Why do you think fatties are easier to get with?
[–]Dearly_beloved_1078 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I do the same thing where I fully lose any ounce of cool if I like the girl. I can be cool as a cucumber if I'm not feeling it and that is usually successful. But if I actually like her? Forget about it.
[–]Various_Bass_7553 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dating is a catch-22 like that. Even if you do care, you have to act like you don’t care. Even if there isn’t abundance, you need an abundance mentality. One motto I like is “want but not need”, and that’s how you should approach dating.
[–]Meaningless_Ninja 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You don't need to be insecure about your looks, tbh you are good looking and u should focus on other things like confidence, assertiveness and other which you have to find out yourself.
Never take opinions of others seriously, most of the time they even don't know what going on with others life and they just want to look smarter or just want to feel good.
I'm also trying to improve Myself, we are in this together bro. Hope we will both get a nice a Girlfriend.
[–]Protocol_Apollo 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Check out my looks 101 post bro.
Right now, hair, fashion and physique aren’t doing you many favours.
Can you overcome it with more “game”?
Yeh sure.
But you want all the cards in your favour right? Not just one or two.
[–]Mir_man 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Wait what's wrong with my hair, fashion and physique
[–]Protocol_Apollo 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Gonna make a few assumptions from the limited pics you gave so could be wrong here.
Fashion: do you normally wear graphic tees? Is that your style? Or something else? Or would you say you don’t have a specific style?
Hair; seems like you don’t style it. You just leave it. When/if you go to the barbers, do you just say a generic “little bit off the top?”
Physique; do you lift weights?
[–]Mir_man 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Fashion: in casual settings I do wear t shirts, here I m hiking so I was going for casual. But admittedly fashion has never been a focus for me, I just go with nice fitting clothes and don't really pay much mind to anything else, so yeah might be an area I could focus on more
Hair: Yeah I usually just go for a medium short cut and don't really go for a very noticeable fade on the sides.
Physique: this probably my worst area, I just recently lost a fair bit of weight, but was too lazy to exercise while it was happening so I did lose some muscle. I do definitely agree a work out routine would help.
[–]Protocol_Apollo 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeh check out my looks 101 post.
You want all the cards in your favour because they all matter. Physique, game, hair, fashion etc.
[–]foot_of_pride 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think the girl is attractive, but you really shouldn't care about others opinion on that. If I saw you two as a couple I wouldn't think twice about any "mismatch ".
[–]Mir_man 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks that's reassuring. I got rejected by the girl, she herself has all but said it's because of my terrible game and the vibe I give off, which is fair I suppose but I always wondered if it's because she was out of my league.
[–]ScaryScientist613 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Your face is perfectly fine. I would even say more above average than average.
But you need bulk a little more that would help tons.
Besides that, just by your body posture I can tell you ooze with little confidence. Your posture, how you speak and etc plays a big factor on attractiveness.
[–]Mir_man 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I get told I come off as tense and uncomfortable sometimes.
[–]merchant_of_mirrors 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You're coming off as needy to the girls you like but not towards the ones you don't because you're not invested. Treat the the ones you're into like the other ones and you'll have better results
[–]blkwzrd_lite 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This problem resonates with me. I’m a handsome guy, people tell me that. But I’m not attracting the girls that I want, only ones I dont want. That did have to do with my self esteem and how I carry myself and my unwillingness to talk to cute girls. My confidence is increasing though
Sorry for making this about me, but just letting you know it’s a common issue
[–]Mir_man 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I have suspected its not an uncommon issue for a portion of men. Women can get away with being being awkward around guys they like because men are so focused on how a girl looks rather than how she is behaving. Additionally women just get weirded out by off putting behavior from men way more cause there's always the thought in the back of their head that an odd man can be a dangerous man. And to top it off personality and how a guy carries himself factor into women's interest in their partner way more.
[–]Calamity__Bane 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s not looks, so the issue is probably some combination of game and not targeting the right people. Don’t think in terms of leagues.
[–]universalvoid87 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You don’t have a high L, but you’re higher than the girl in the pic . Getting laid nowadays in some countries is hard, from cold approach even guys with better looks than you get rejected the majority of times
[–]yoitsappy 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You look good. Try fade with quiff type hairstyle. You should keep a beard
[–]Quirky_Tale_9739 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s a matter of terrible game and also your self talk to yourself. Pm me if you want me to help you on a deeper level. I’ll help you for free.
[–]Hugin93 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I would say from the looks you are above the girl in the picture. I think your main problem is self esteem. Focus on improving your game
[–]Mir_man 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yes I come off as very desperate whenever I m around girls I m attracted to, so much so that my friends point it out after words, even the girls say it sometimes.
[–]Hugin93 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Maybe you look so desperate bc u seek validation from women. Then ur problem could be the so called nice guy syndrome. I would recommend to read the book: no more Mr. Nice guy from Mr. Glover. I'm still on my way to improve myself but the book helped me a lot.
[–]Various_Bass_7553 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah if people are directly telling you that you look desperate, then you are most definitely acting needy which repels girls like nothing else.
[–]ResponsibilityKey427 -4 points-3 points-2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s the looks.
I’m not saying you ugly.
But hot girls want hot guys.
[–]angrypuppy35 -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago* (17 children) | Copy Link
Your looks are not the problem. I’d say the girl is below you in league. She’s not attractive.
Edit: op don’t ask for peoples honest opinions if you’re going to downvote when you don’t like the answer
[–]MisterJ-HYDE 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
wdym? the girl looks great and OP also looks great.
[–]angrypuppy35 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Her facial structure is unattractive
I m usually not into square jaws on women, but she pulls it off well imo. I think this photo makes it look more exaggerated because of the selfie angle and her wearing a hat.
Ordinarily girls look better with a less square jawline but there are lots of female models who have square jawlines. imo if the rest of the face is feminine it can look good.
[–]angrypuppy35 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah there are female models with square jawlines. She wouldn’t be one of them
[–]vardarac 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
She has an unusually wide jaw, but I wouldn't say it's off-putting.
Do you find Quagmire attractive too?
[–]Mir_man 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
She's definitely attractive (the image doesn't do her justice), but her attitude and how she carries herself also makes her way Sexier in person, she gets hit on all the time.
[–]angrypuppy35 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If the picture doesn’t do her justice, whyd you ask us to judge her league based on that one photo?
All we can go by is the one photo you posted. Getting hit on often means absolutely nothing. unattractive women are hit on often too as long as they seem friendly.
Anyway, all that matters is that you are attracted to her. I think you are above her in league in terms of looks. your looks should not hold you back from getting with her
[–]Mir_man 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Its the only pic I have with me along side her, and I don't want to post too many pics of her for privacy reasons.
[–]onenaughtygirlplease -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Dude. What are you doing publishing pictures of women who didn't consent to this?
I m removing both pics now
[–]onenaughtygirlplease -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bit late now.
[–]ResponsibilityKey427 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I’d say she is above him SMV wise
what does SMV stand for and why is she above me in this regard?
[–]angrypuppy35 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You can’t really say this just by looks. SMV for a man would not be solely or even primarily on looks as it is with women. What is OPs career income social status, how he carries himself, network, net worth all would figure in.
But he is a better looking man than she is woman
[–]ResponsibilityKey427 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Meh, tinder results would say otherwise.
Sorry and I didn’t mean SMV but on a pure looks scale he looks short, skinny and older.
Thus his market value looks wise won’t be up there.
Fair enough. I see him as a slightly above average man and her below average woman judging purely by physical attractiveness.
[–]GripIsEverything 4 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Link not working.
still working for me
[–]GripIsEverything1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I'll try VPN.
[–]BangaiiWatchman 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think you look good
[–]igotthechinesevirus 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You’re not bad looking. But remember that they always date up(hipergamy) and with the ego boost they get from Instagram and tinder, and 1 night stands With super hot dudes some girls are seeing themselves as waaaaay hotter than they really are.
Besides game and looks there’s also money or success.
[–]MissionAd399 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Grow out your beard man, no homo I think you’d instantly become more attractive
[–]Ambitious-Ice2357 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Unless you’re a millionaire with looks, you’re at a distinct disadvantage being a male. Women just have too many options in the dating world. One of life’s harsh realities (and there’s many) is you don’t get the girl you want, you get the girl that wants you. Unfortunately, that might be someone that looks completely different then what you’re attracted to. Generally, we all settle for a lot less then what we wanted.
[–]Mir_man 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Not sure I agree. I see a fair bit of normal looking guys with good looking girls in everyday life. That's the case for a fair number of my friends who aren't millionaire's with a ton of money and look on par with me, though they do have better game.
[–]Ambitious-Ice2357 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Game is a myth. Don’t fall for it.
Depends on what you mean by game. I mean being likeable and comfortable around a girl vs being nervous/stiff/boring. If by game you mean pick up lines then yea that's BS.
[–]Ambitious-Ice2357 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And that’s exactly what I meant. Don’t fall prey to those YouTube videos by these arrogant cons trying to teach you how to pick up women. Most of that stuff is staged, most of it is fake and you will look like a tool if you try using that stuff in real time. Work on being friendly. Work on your personality.I’m not a big fan of cold approaching because most of the time you’re going to face rejection. It’s about being at the right place at the right time. Starting a conversation and hoping the woman you’re talking to is receptive.
[–]Sup3rHD 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Man wtf the girl in the pic is a 4 lol She is ugly in my opinion.
Go to the gym for You, lift some weight and dont think about this bullshit.
[–]CraftyAd5327 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The girl out there smiling and your vibe is get me out of here
Honestly, self esteem sucks. You're not naturally bad looking actually decent or at least better than many but there's still upgrades to be made. E.g fashion sense, physique.
Stop caring about leagues or whatever. Superficial bullshit for me. It's either yes or no for me. The more you rank yourself towards other people is where it gets grimly
[–]peachespointofview 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
They probably view you as an Old creep. The gray hairs are a give away. And the girl in the picture looks like a teenager. You’re not in her social setting.
Yeah I ve thought about that. The premature graying isn't doing me favors. This girl even suggested helping me dye the grays. The girl is not a teenager, she's approaching mid 20s right now.
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[–]norwegiandoggo 39 points40 points41 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[+]Mir_man -7 points-6 points-5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]norwegiandoggo 15 points16 points17 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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