Second time going to a bar alone

DeceasedRodentFive · 2022-03-13T09:08:12+00:00

I just wanted to point out that you were being cordial with everyone, even the men. It helps to have well-rounded social proof in all situations. In the case of this bar that you were at, all the employees likely talk to each other and it would be painfully obvious that you walked in just to chat up the women that work there.

Opposite-Pitch-9129 · 2022-03-13T06:19:14+00:00

Job well done.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-03-13T06:08:13+00:00

Please please please stop thinking of yourself as some compliment deprived guy. There is absolutely no advantage to you viewing yourself as a perpetual victim.

NineteenAD9 · 2022-03-13T14:09:22+00:00

This is how you do it. You went out to be social and you weren't outcome dependent on anything else. You acted on conversations and interactions naturally without overthinking it.

It's a great approach, especially for people reading your post who are struggling hard with social/approach anxiety.

The more you do things like this, the easier it is to talk to anyone in any situation. Being social is the core part of it all.

devHaitham · 2022-03-13T14:08:11+00:00

Bro I can relate to this, I've been doing the exact thing ever since I moved to a foreign country of which I do not speak the local language. U know some people are like naah why you goin to the bar alone thats too depressing and I'm like naah man thats too shallow. Keep it up bro🙌

xonbuhg · 2022-03-13T07:06:19+00:00

I’ve never done it, I have anxiety even thinking of going lol , where do you find a place to sit, if there’s no one around what do you do? Play with your phone? Are you planning to walk up to other women next time you go? What do you say to chat with a random guy?

WhoIamUnderneath · 2022-03-13T15:56:12+00:00

I seriously want to be like you, get out of this shitty loneliness. I gotta put some effort to get out of this shithole man.

SadBox4529 · 2022-03-13T07:23:01+00:00

I use to go out by myself but prefer going with at least one friend.

GEEZUS_956 · 2022-03-13T07:48:29+00:00

Simply curious. It appears you start the contact with all these people. How did you?

sneakypedia · 2022-03-13T08:52:40+00:00

>He was having a tough night and my compliment seemed to have made him a bit happier.

this is the key.

Going out, showing up, being there and sharing the space with people. You can make a difference. You being there can make other people have more fun :)

And I think.. they see that you're going for it, learning, growing. And it opens doors for them too. You can be an inspiration.

WagerGoat · 2022-03-13T17:27:53+00:00

Tbh if she gave you her number then she expects you to use it, my experience if a taken girl gave me her number then she obviously know I’m not looking to be just friends. But if hookups isn’t what you trying to do with her then a job well done

Reaver_ · 2022-03-13T19:53:03+00:00

But it was a nice chat, I got to know another humam being and also got to practice my game.

If there's one thing yall need to take away from this post, it's this attitude right here. Outcome independence. Getting a number or getting laid doesn't dictate success, it's being able to walk away from any interaction with something positive. This is honestly one of, if not the biggest things holding most of yall back.

You get so fixated on this idea in your head of closing as the only goal or only measure of success, and it takes you out of reality and the moment, and girls (or anyone really) will easily pick up on it. Don't hyper focus on doing or saying the right thing and just worry about being your most authentic self, being genuine in conversation, and having a fun interaction for the sake of fun and getting experience.

Boos_TZ_ · 2022-03-13T12:24:09+00:00

As someone who has completed a 30+ day challenge, you’ll have nights like these, and that’s great. Everything you mentioned is a W because you pushed yourself through discomfort to become better. That builds confidence which will help you in the long run. Your frame (mentality) is right on the mark. Warmup sets always help, no matter the gender. Keep it up.

ChewyButterMilk · 2022-03-13T20:41:55+00:00

Nice job OP, I hope to do this later on

VegetableStandard774 · 2022-03-13T17:12:59+00:00

Mah man!!! Sex isn't the end goal always. The end goal is to have a good time.

Lifedeather · 2022-03-13T07:57:02+00:00

I did my best tonight to male another friend 😂 😂 😂

megamorphg · 2022-03-13T19:21:14+00:00

What would be interesting is a guide on going to the bar alone to meet people and NOT drinking (maybe just eating tacos). Bar food is really unhealthy much less drinking and I'd rather not sacrifice health for socialization.

bestmenrmenatbest · 2022-03-13T20:46:15+00:00

I go alone to bars 90% of the time. I have never felt any kind of way about it. Honestly, i go there for music or to get a drink and also because I’m an attention whore I love rejecting women. Who really do you have to impress? I wouldn’t marry a woman from a bar so who cares really what they think

Tavarshio · 2022-03-13T21:04:49+00:00

He even wanted to pay for my drink when he was leaving.

Never accept a drink from a stranger or let someone pay for your drink! Even if you're a guy. Also, it seems strange to compliment male strangers in a place like that unless you guys know one another. Sounds like you had a good time otherwise. Also, as others have said, stop fishing for compliments or thinking of yourself as "deprived" of them. Thinking of yourself as a victim and expressing that mentality will get you NOWHERE as a straight man.

I personally find that going alone to bars ain't that much fun. That's why I almost never do it. The only time I would is if I were a regular and people knew me there.

cinephiller · 2022-03-13T22:51:33+00:00

Its kind off weird to say but flirt practicing with waitresses and people from bar is best teacher. I did similarly ( in a social setup in a bar) and got rejected twice. But nonetheless it was a learnings experience and worth implementing.

Title	Second time going to a bar alone
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	542
Comments	47
Date	March 13, 2022 5:44 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/td05o8/second_time_going_to_a_bar_alone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/second-time-going-to-a-bar-alone.1264713 https://theredarchive.com/post/1264713

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