~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
[deleted]
[–]surfershane25 37 points38 points39 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bars and clubs have wildly different atmospheres, a cozy dive bar is easier for me to talk to women and get results than a super loud dance floor where I might dance with or make out with there but it doesn’t lead back home or anywhere as often. But online dating if you can get good photos and write well.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]burncushlikewood 20 points21 points22 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
If you have friends to go with sure, you need a wing out there man it's too tough to solo. Day game I would suggest to you, the old saying is that 99% of guys don't approach during the day, but it's the best time to meet girls
[–]throwawayvirginacct 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I don't encounter many girls on a normal day. Day game is not really possible
[–]burncushlikewood 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Cool, I suggest going to a club hitting the dancefloor and maybe finding a guy in there to temporarily wing for you. The problem with not having a wing is women are rarely solo, so you need a homie to occupy the friend https://youtu.be/-unuqF4uklE Here's Richards night game formula, it's a bit long but he helped me so much back in the day
[–]Churroking69 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just go out to where you think you would find women. Malls, events, yoga, coffee shops. Practice approaching and you'll eventually get better.
After that, you'll have an easier time in clubs or bar environments.
[–]Bus1nessn00b 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m doing it today
[–]bestmenrmenatbest 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you want to stop being a virgin, first you gotta work on yourself physically, dress well, smell good, have a good haircut, don’t be fat.
Next, if you want to go to bars or clubs imitate someone who gets a lot of women. Don’t buy any woman drinks, don’t stare, be in your own world so to speak and watch for a woman sending you signals. The key is you gotta be sure she wants you otherwise if you get rejected by her, it gets worse and every woman there would have seen it.
[–]scientist_1990 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
I suggest dance class. You can learn salsa or something that’s not “bumping” music. The gym is a good place to meet girls, just don’t interrupt their workout, I would approach a girl on the way in, way out, or in between exercises. Club is a hard environment especially in the bigger cities. You gotta be confident if you wanna pull a girl in a club and smash in one night. Are their any hobbies you haven’t tried yet that might have women ?
[–]throwawayvirginacct 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
I'm not just looking to smash in one night. I'm thinking about going back to the gym,but I'm working over an hour away from home right now so going to the gym before or after work is impossible. What hobbies do you suggest? Personally I hate dancing,but I may have to deal with it.
[–]SnooPuppers2534 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Gym isn't necessary, you can get crazy strong with weighted calisthenics, i mean REALLY strong, message me if you're interested it's an amazing hobby that can transform your life my brother.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Callisthenics community is pretty lit. Super friendly, supportive and welcoming.
[–]SnooPuppers2534 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I agree 100 percent! Do you do calisthenics yourself?
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Did it for 6 months was awesome. Then stopped working out during Covid and now do martial arts training every day instead 🙏
[–]SnooPuppers2534 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Wow nice man! I do calisthenics and weight lifting for boxing, what martial arts do you do?
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Boxing too bro🤝
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Usually just do skipping and high intensity bag work in the gym
[–]SnooPuppers2534 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Wow nice man! Didn't think I'd find a boxer on this subreddit, good luck in the sport man!
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Appreciated bro et toi !
[–]echoKj 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Idk, I normally don't go clubbing to find hookups or a potential gf. But it never hurts to try I guess
[–]jjboy91 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Where do you go then ?
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Right ? lol
[–]CocoBabeNYC 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No, sitting at home and jerking off ia much better for you.
[–]throwawayvirginacct 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Damn depressing tho
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
There are so many venues to meet women beside bars and clubs. You can meet women out and about, in school, work, events, or social activities. You can do online dating or talk to women with social media. You can build your social circle and meet friends through other friends.
[–]throwawayvirginacct 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm not in school,I work in the trades so work is all dudes,I've tried the dating apps for years but I guess I'm not attractive enough to pull a girl online. Seriously the only matches I've ever gotten were either catfish attempts or she just didn't respond to my first message.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Here is the trick to dating apps:
Going to clubs and bars is a great idea but the best way to meet women is through your social circle. Meeting women out and about and during social events is a great option as well.
[–]joelvaldezg 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Have you ever been in a club? I used to say clubs aren’t my things but now I go almost weekly to one. I’d say go clubbing, but with your friends, it’s tough to go alone.
You could go clubbing but it wouldn’t deal with the underlying reasons why you’re a virgin at 25. Work on yourself bro. Gym, money and game. Work on those three aspects.
[–]DanieTB99 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you wanna go clubs to get puss then go to trashy places late. A couple hours before closing some girls seem very eager to leave with a guy
[–]iceking123[🍰] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Don’t go, you’re just gonna end up getting girls that don’t like you pretend to like you for free drinks. Or they’ll just walk away. Unless you’re super attractive which you’re probably not. Then focus on going out doing things you enjoy. Start going to social clubs like playing soccer or going to church. Whatever you may like. This is the best way to find someone that you are interested in. Dating is a numbers game so give yourself value and ask yourself what interest does my ideal partner have. And then become the person that shares her interests. You just pick from there. Just be yourself and act cool. Dress to impress and woman will be attracted to your confidence.
[–]Evolsleeper -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Become the person that shares her interests but also be yourself? Lol. Also church? That's gotta be one of the last places I'd go to meet women
[–]TiNyUzi 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
ikr? i lmao when i read church
[–]lanraebloom 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Y'all don't know church is the easiest place to meet women lol
[–]PsilocybinDisciple 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
If you don’t like bars and clubs you’re not gonna enjoy girls who like bars and clubs with medium to long term dating. Just a thought, not trying to discourage because clubbing is a social lubricant.
[–]throwawayvirginacct 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
You have a point but the only reason I'm thinking about going is because it is a social lubricant.
[–]PsilocybinDisciple 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Then do it!
Not a fan of clubbing a bar could be good! Worste case you can bs with bartender n people keep coming up
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I'm trying to think of it as not a big deal but every year it gets more difficult. It feels like a big deal to me and quite frankly its only not a big deal to people who have had sex,it was a big deal to you once.
[–]throwawayvirginacct 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This post is about me trying to find a solution.
[–]Harris343 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don’t go clubbing just for the sole purpose of trying to get with girls because a lot of the time you’ll add too much pressure and will ruin your night. Aim to go out with friends have a good time and see what happens. Also not to judge but how are you talking to women because going to a club isn’t just going to fix everything. My choice for you would be tinder but I’m assuming you’ve used it. Anyway go to the club somewhat often and the smoking area is a really good time to just talk to people that’s where I’m most successful personally.
[–]WagerGoat 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Try going out to public places in general and you’ll see how you can meet women just by picking up your order from a curbside
[–]Johny_Silver_Hand -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you enjoy killing Seals then go for it.
[–]SaltoDaKid -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Any activity like you’ll find girl like walking at park or downtown. Maybe joining local club. Club nice but it’s sometimes the double edge sword for men, beware money grouser, that are club with fee, girl who ask you for a drink. Enjoy what you like to do and stay fresh.
[–]Expert-Lemmon -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you don't have experience then id say go to a bar or something first. it can be hard to work on your game if you can barley hear the girl you walked up to. Or you could meet up with someone there. I like bars on busy Friday nights with different options in case you strike out. Which ever you choose bring friends to keep you from overthinking or doubting yourself
[–]jjboy91 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Personally I don't like clubs at all so I wouldn't. Bars where I live, you can't stand up and have to pick a table so this sucks too. I do meet people from my hobbies but they are only interested by a friendship.
Maybe you can try to help people in need or something like that
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas[M] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You should just talk to women. Fix that lol. It doesn't seem that way to me. Tbh it sounds like this post is about making excuses and complaining. Your just trying to pity yourself even further.
You should just talk to women.
Fix that lol.
It doesn't seem that way to me. Tbh it sounds like this post is about making excuses and complaining. Your just trying to pity yourself even further.
You basically showed up to troll OP. He came for advice and you offered nothing actionable. Then you insulted him after dragging out a useless tangent of a conversation.
5 day temporary ban for breaking Rule 4. Kindly read the rules before posting or commenting again.
[–]BackFlashy2939 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Work on yourself first, but also you don't need to meet girls at bars or clubs, you can meet them at cafes , activities, other events or whatever.
[–]throwawayvirginacct 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
All I've been doing is working on myself,I have a career with a comfortable income,a condo,and multiple vehicles. Admittedly I need to go back to the gym but I have an active job so its not like I'm fat but I could be fitter. What I don't have is any girls in my life,I can try cafes I suppose.
[–]BackFlashy2939 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fair enough
[–]PrimitiveAlienz 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well i can’t tell you what you should do because i’m in a similar boat but honestly clubbing worked out the worst for me out of everything i tried. I had more luck speaking to people when i boulder (indoor climbing stuff) but the only woman i managed to speak to there turned out to be a lesbian and now we are friends so who the fuck knows.
[–]epimpstyle 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nobody says anything about drunk girls in clubbing. They might go to toilette telling you to wait a minute but they disappear :-)
Also, it is a tough competition because you are not alone, any girl can choose someone else, if you are not good looking than the chances are very small because any girl will go in a club with a friend and usually they don't want to show to their best friend an average looking guy. Usually your effort is double because you must conquer the girl but also you must conquer her best (girl) friend - than you have the green light to step further.
To pick up girls it is better in another place (even on the streets).
[–]silkPJson 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you’re not comfortable clubbing then don’t go. Maybe bars would be better?
Otherwise I would suggest hobbies (although this can be difficult to find depending on where you live) or volunteering?
[–]DMNC87 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Try out clubs and see if you can thrive in that environment
I personally don’t. I do well in the smokers corner outside where people are just hanging out. I can’t for the life of me have a successful conversation inside a bar or club
Maybe I could in a vip section/table where it’s more intimate
The point is try and find where you function well and stick to those environments
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
1
I'm a 25yo virgin and neither my job or my hobbies have girls around and I didn't go to college.
There's a lot about college that leads to meeting new people. The circumstances involve a bunch of people of the same age all gathering in roughly the same place at roughly the same times.
A lot of that can be duplicated if you know how. A great way can be to simply do a search on FB for groups that hold regular events. Just type in your city + some topic, interest, or hobby.
There are a ton of options here:
And so on....
2
I'm not really into bars or clubs, I don't dance or like bumping music but I may not have a choice.
Basic rule of thumb is: don't try to change who you are just to get laid.
Like, of course, if you have problems with your basic social skills, then level those up. But you shouldn't have to go to clubs if you don't like the very things that clubs are organized around.
In fact, it's going to hurt your inner game to make yourself to places you hate just to meet people who actually like going to those places for fun. Think about it, people go there to have fun and so people who hate being there, are going to have a hard time being fun, and will drag down the vibe. Which hurts one's chances of getting anywhere.
It's a similar mistake that people might make if they go to church to find someone, when they're not religious.
3
....sitting at home thing is obviously not going to help.
Definitely not. But there are a lot of options here. Bars and clubs are far from the only options. They're just well-known.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]surfershane25 37 points38 points39 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]burncushlikewood 20 points21 points22 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwawayvirginacct 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]burncushlikewood 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Churroking69 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Bus1nessn00b 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bestmenrmenatbest 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]scientist_1990 6 points7 points8 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwawayvirginacct 1 point2 points3 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]SnooPuppers2534 0 points1 point2 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]SnooPuppers2534 1 point2 points3 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]SnooPuppers2534 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]SnooPuppers2534 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]echoKj 9 points10 points11 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]jjboy91 12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CocoBabeNYC 8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]throwawayvirginacct 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwawayvirginacct 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]joelvaldezg 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DanieTB99 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]iceking123[🍰] 2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Evolsleeper -1 points0 points1 point (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]TiNyUzi 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]lanraebloom 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PsilocybinDisciple 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwawayvirginacct 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PsilocybinDisciple 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwawayvirginacct 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]throwawayvirginacct 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Harris343 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]WagerGoat 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Johny_Silver_Hand -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SaltoDaKid -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Expert-Lemmon -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jjboy91 -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (7 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (6 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas[M] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BackFlashy2939 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwawayvirginacct 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]BackFlashy2939 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PrimitiveAlienz 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]epimpstyle 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]silkPJson 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DMNC87 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link