[deleted by user]

surfershane25 · 2021-12-12T08:50:36+00:00

You do realize what the second half of the word girlFRIEND is right? I mean good luck having a relationship without being at least somewhat friendly. I’ve been in 13 years of 4 serious relationships in 31 years on this earth, trust me it’s not going to work if you’re not at all friends.

MagnusRoundstone · 2021-12-12T02:32:33+00:00

I’m calling bullshit on the “I don’t have time” excuse. But, if we go with your premise that you don’t “have time” to make friends or to do fun things, you don’t have time to date. Wait until you have time to date and then become attractive. Problem solved.

On the other hand, if you want to be real, recognize there are 168 hours in the week. Spend three of them volunteering. That is attractive to women. Spend four of those hours doing something interesting. That is attractive to women. Spend three of them developing a social circle. That’s only 10 out of your 168 hours a week and will make you more attractive. Do what you want with the other 158 hours.

/tough love

DizzyxSin · 2021-12-12T09:12:15+00:00

Men think they have to become this alpha god like figure to be attractive to women. In reality you are good as you are even with all your faults. Women just don't want someone so heavy, uptight and is generally unconfortable in his own shell.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-12-12T09:09:44+00:00

You are what we call an excuser. Someone who always has an excuse as to why he is not meeting and sleeping with girls.

TheGnosionaut · 2021-12-12T13:35:27+00:00

Ugh.... scrolled through the comments. OP has no time to invest into himself but has the time to write essays on reddit.

Blackmetalpenguin90 · 2021-12-12T13:51:01+00:00

That's the problem with generic BS advice. One time it's hit the gym bro, make money bro, be ambitious bro, then you do all that and next time is "well you can't be a papercut perfect guy bro, you have to live an adventurous life bro, you have to do crazy shit to tell stories about bro". People internalise all this bullshit and they end up in a place where they feel like they have to do every single fucking thing at the same time and it's still not enough.

Truth is the only time you'll start to become successful is when you truly think that you're all right, and if someone rejects you then she simply wasn't right for you. You will never be able to tick all the boxes. You'll only feel good when you feel like the boxes you DO tick are enough.

Easier said than done though.

Jacob_961 · 2021-12-12T14:27:06+00:00

Honestly I wouldn't date you if I was a girl. I don't care what you have. The first level is how you make the girl feel around you. You want validation so bad that you are repulsing women even before they get a chance to get to know you. Cut out tinder first of all, it is useless and it will get you shitty women. If you talk to women because you want to talk to them, have fun with them, and you enjoy their presence and you enjoy pushing their buttons, talking to women will stop being the chore you are sitting it out to be. I usually sleep with women on the first date, but now I'm dating a more conservative chick who just happens to be a virgin and a different approach is required. If you set, I want to talk to you and not text and you have the spread your legs on date whatever, no girl will suck your dick. For what? So that your ego is validated? Go stroke yourself basically. Women want to love you but you have to give them the chance to do so. Give some compliments, back off a bit, allow them to invest in you, reward their effort with affection and compliments and she will fall in love. It is not rocket science.

PmMeYourAmatuerNudes · 2021-12-12T09:13:45+00:00

Strength.

Doesn't matter if it's body, mind, or character. Find YOUR strength and pursue it. Girls will put themselves in your way to distract you when you aren't watching for them. One of them will encourage your pursuit of strength. That's the one you approach. That's the one who will support you and isn't looking for a supporter. That's the one to spend your time with.

maxkapital · 2021-12-12T14:47:36+00:00

Make money. Be tall. Have big dick. That’s all you need to know. Easy.

According-Mobile-993 · 2021-12-12T06:14:11+00:00

90% is in your face, 5% in your body and 5% in who you are. There ya go. :)

gugogi · 2021-12-12T14:16:26+00:00

Maybe you use the « grind » as an excuse to not date or meet girls. I pretty much am in the same situation as you (5 class, 15hours shift and working out way too much) and I realised that the excuse « I don’t have time » doesn’t really apply.

If you really want to date, you’ll have to invest some bit of effort (maybe next semester take less shifts at the job or try another split for your workout that require less time at the gym)

Or again, you can use the mentality of « grinding in your 20s » and wait to be more stable to attract women if that suits you

youcheekydelinquent · 2021-12-13T01:07:37+00:00

Yeah, I'd focus on making actual friends and branching out from there. "Girlfriends" will come organically with uber-success but most of us don't become Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk. You will probably need some game as well. If you want to be seductive on the other hand you do have to learn how to have a good time just being yourself by yourself, More people will be attracted to you when you have the right mindset. Right now it doesn't sound like that. It sounds like you already gave up. People don't want fun people they enjoy being around.

gannex · 2021-12-13T01:23:44+00:00

Man I'm in grad school and this describes me too well. I think you just have to make some sacrifices at some point and force yourself to take the blinders off from time to time, even if you're highly motivated.

gannex · 2021-12-13T01:27:50+00:00

I don't want to waste time or brain power building a "Friendship" first.I'm kind of like a, I want to meet you, I don't want to talk to youover text for 1 week, lets do x,y,z at this time agree, give me acounter suggestion, or lets stop talking.

This is exactly how I feel about it all the time. I don't have time for some bullshit. I could be working out, I could be studying, I could be doing something useful. I can focus on what's right there in front of me--if I go out to dinner with someone, I focus on them and listen to them--but I just don't give a fuck about texting some girl I don't know well for 2 weeks. If you want someone to text you ingratiating messages all day, just get a fucking amazon Alexa bot or something.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	77
Comments	47
Date	December 12, 2021 2:24 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/reetxg/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1270933 https://theredarchive.com/post/1270933

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