[deleted by user]

recyclablebanthas · 2021-08-24T00:24:10+00:00

Posts about a specific person or situation belong in AskSeddit so this post had to be taken down. Don't sweat it, just read the rules next time before you post or comment. I'll also add some feedback, for what it's worth.

1

My ex.....

You left out how it ended and that's relevant to getting a read on the situation. Similar to when you go into the doctor he needs your medical history for proper context because what happened before influences what happened after.

So can you elaborate:

How did it end with this ex?
Who ended it, and what were their stated reasons why?
Did you see it coming? In retrospect after the fact, did you see red flags or signs that was going wrong?
How did it end up that you weren't talking for a couple months? Like how did the last interaction before that go?

2

..... she adds me on Snapchat and posts to her story, definitely trying to get a reaction out of me.

There's a whole lot that you're leaving out here:

Did she message you when she added you?
What exactly did she post? Pictures, captions/text, etc?
Did she @ you in the post?

3

She then snaps me 20 mins later but deletes it before I can even open it.

I don’t respond.

Weird. Did you even read the preview of that message? Did you actually get to see any of the text that was in the message?

4

She then unfriends me the following day.

Sounds weird. Whatever the case may be, this doesn't sound like someone worth fussing about, or even posting about, to be honest.

5

Normally I chase her when she does shit like this but I didn’t give her a reaction at all. I tried my best to play it cool and be indifferent.

One potential issue at this point in time, is that it's so soon after the breakup that it sounds like it's still a fair amount of effort to assert yourself and your own boundaries.

Like you have to deliberately play# it cool, as opposed to if you were fully recovered, you wouldn't have to play, you would just *be cool about it.

The point simply being that you are right to be wary at this point. You're probably still recovering.

6

I felt pretty good that I didn’t take the bait but I’m wondering if I should have called her out on the game or nah? I don’t want to put effort in unless she does.

I'm assuming that she broke up with you?

That's the literal inverse of putting effort into it. She has only reaffirmed this by unfriending you on social media.

I also assume that you've been reading up on game. It can seem as if game does more than it actually can.

Seduction is a team sport. And if the other person is not wanting to play with you or in general is a dysfunctional jackass, seduction doesn't fix them.

If the other person is into it, then they will make it easy. They will work with you to make something happen. Breaking up with you and unfriending you on social media is the opposite of that.

Independent_Gur_9189 · 2021-08-23T14:19:31+00:00

Like you said yourself, her main objective is to get a reaction out of you and you did the right thing by not entertaining any of it. A lot of time this type of behavior can come from deeply rooted insecurities and a need for validation. She may have felt rejected or unwanted in her day to day life, and you are her reliable source of immediate and constant validation. If there are unresolved thoughts and emotions and she does eventually want to have a mature conversation, she should be more upfront and sincere. In the meantime, the best thing you could do is focus on yourself and continue doing what you’re doing and not falling victim to her traps.

Devolution20 · 2021-08-23T14:37:30+00:00

She's from the past...she's playing stupid mind games on SNAPCHAT.

Go find you a woman.

dukegratiano15 · 2021-08-23T15:30:28+00:00

This is why men are losing. We have analysis threads on Reddit constantly about things like that. If she’s your ex - keep her in the EX zone and stop mentally masturbating about some fucking child that plays games with you. Like someone said earlier “go find yourself a woman”

Tall_Anywhere3705 · 2021-08-23T14:10:46+00:00

Yes you handled it good 👍🏼

jimmyhalpert2 · 2021-08-23T18:04:20+00:00

This comment section is a mess. Look, you did well but it does sound like you still have feelings for her. She’s an ex. Forgot about it and move on. No need to call her out. You’re already thinking about messaging her, you’re playing her game. Move on and find someone else

Edit: I realized its only been 2 months so I understand if you have feelings still but trust me, don’t play the game

ORIONFULL23 · 2021-08-23T15:16:57+00:00

Its just a test, and you did it well, she did that to test if she got some power over you. Good for you

If she wants to come back to you, she needs to do the effort

Dastan72 · 2021-08-23T15:29:11+00:00

You did better than your past-self. Don't put effort its just useless she's just want some attention and you know it.

Jamesdoink · 2021-08-23T18:52:19+00:00

👍

ProdiLemaj · 2021-08-23T19:17:32+00:00

Handled it perfectly, she sounds like a very toxic and immature individual, you’re better off without her my guy

neversleeps212 · 2021-08-23T20:39:26+00:00

You passed the shit test. Don’t let her keep living rent free in your head. If she had something tangible to say, she would have said it. She just wanted attention.

blahblahblah_yeayea · 2021-08-23T16:20:07+00:00

IMO, if you are still toying with the idea of getting back with her, then you are also "playing these games". Make up your mind that you are either DONE with her, or you're not... If you're done, then block her on everything, and don't even consider reacting to any future attempts. There's no reason to allow her messages to come through unless you're strategizing for "your next move".

quantumactual · 2021-08-23T14:49:28+00:00

Correct, you handled it correctly. Don’t give her a reaction, she wants to see that you care still.

Snoo36988 · 2021-08-23T15:58:00+00:00

WEll handled! Don’t say a word, leave her alone. All good!

aerial_coitus · 2021-08-23T16:19:32+00:00

run far away from that shit. far more drama than any sane person should have to deal with.

JohnnyLazer17 · 2021-08-23T17:13:39+00:00

Nope. Just keep it cold bud. You’re doin good.

Impressive-Region-37 · 2021-08-23T17:46:29+00:00

Played it well don't need to call unless your still interested!! Don't play the cat and mouse game

mrhodesit · 2021-08-23T18:49:53+00:00

Relationships are like McDonalds french fries. After they cool off, and you try to reheat, they are disgusting and frankly not worth eating.

Dwaynedibley24601 · 2021-08-23T19:49:48+00:00

handled well, no contact she is toxic

Professional-Soup525 · 2021-08-23T21:59:28+00:00

Cellphones and social media in general are the death of real connections. It's to easy for things to get lost in translation, then open for interpretation. If you both generally love each other.. put the cell down, go over there and form a human bond. If that fails without social media then you really know.

socozyinhere · 2021-08-23T22:18:40+00:00

Just leave her with her vibrator and cats/dogs.

kettlebell_workout · 2021-08-23T14:11:42+00:00

Dude... You have still long way to go.

flennboyd · 2021-08-23T15:02:27+00:00

She’s going through her contact list for a reaction from guys in the past. I’m not sure to suggest spending any more time. If you were the founder of a startup, none of this would even be on your plate of things to worry about.

2021-08-23T20:15:36+00:00

I guess YOU missed the part where she's your EX....

LOL

Mysterious_Noob555 · 2021-08-23T14:36:14+00:00

No offence to u/Professional-Soup525 but u/sponge-sphincter is right bro

j2bbt238 · 2021-08-23T18:13:13+00:00

block

ShinbrigGoku · 2021-08-23T23:06:21+00:00

You good, you literally didn't give her any reaction and just so she can feel like she has some kind of control she unfriended you...if anything she did you a favor.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	250
Comments	98
Date	August 23, 2021 2:04 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pa0hsf/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1277727 https://theredarchive.com/post/1277727

Comments