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[–]SirByron 21 points22 points23 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Excellent holistic 360 answer. Very difficult question, well summed up. You may want to also mention the visual aspect - style, fashion, looks. They also matter today as the media is priming the mind non-stop for implicit visually judgments.
[–]Tenmagnet2 points 10 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks man.
[–]SirByron 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Balance Inner Game with Outer Game and you're a Lady Killer. Unfortunately the comment I hear from Women is the same I hear from Men: He is this and that thing but he is not sum of the minimum of all things that I think I deserve.
[–]DeeJason 20 points21 points22 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The best part of the answe is this
"Keep the date moving to keep it interesting.Sitting at a table eating dinner for 2 hours is a HARD date to keep interesting. Moving to multiple venues (ie, coffee, then food then drinks somewhere else) can really help keep things interesting."
[–]Interversity 10 points11 points12 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fantastic answer. I think the most important part to note is this:
The first thing you need to know is that you don't impress a girl by doing something, but by being someone. The things you do are only relevant so much as they illustrate what kind of person you are. So don't take the attitude of doing something to impress a girl, instead be an impressive man and things will take care of themselves.
This is the core idea that creates lasting improvement. PUA tactics, seduction techniques, lines, routines, they can be helpful with the social aspect, but nothing can take the place of improving yourself in all respects, and very little real change can be accomplished without serious time spent focusing on who you are, who you want to be, and why.
Really great response. Thank you.
[–]thekidbass 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So.... Models.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
As always.
Manson really nailed it with that book.
[–]test_tickles 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
if you have to impress a girl to like you, you will have to always impress her to keep her.. you are all young and full of energy, and are focused on a singe task of getting laid, but you will run out of energy one day, and the beast will get you.
[–]never-slept 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This made me laugh
A very terrified laugh...
[–]jlstitt 9 points10 points11 points 10 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Did not read. Quora tried to make me login or some shit.
[–]PandaDentist 27 points28 points29 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This is a question that has stumped scientists and philosophers for centuries, from Plato's Symposium, to modern attempts to address the question like The Game or The Mating Mind. It's also my major area of interest (as a Dating Coach) so I guess I'll try and answer the question as best I can. The first thing you need to know is that you don't impress a girl by doing something, but by being someone. The things you do are only relevant so much as they illustrate what kind of person you are. So don't take the attitude of doing something to impress a girl, instead be an impressive man and things will take care of themselves. But anyway, to answer the basic question "What makes women attracted?". If you ask 100 people this question, you will probably get 200 different answers. I've asked this question to thousands of men and women, and some of the responses I get are: Confidence, money, intelligence, style, romance, humour, being fit, reliable, nice shoes, smells nice, someone who knows what he wants.... etc etc. The list is quite literally endless, but they all boil down to three key elements of attraction. In fact, I suggest you look at the other answers in this thread, from women and from men, and you'll find that the three elements that keep coming up are: Women like men who have inner or outer power - Confidence, style, athleticism and success all boil down to inner or outer power. The desire to be desired - Women respond to men who take the initiative and show desire for them. Romance, "a man who knows what he wants", and confidence all boil down to this element. Passive guys miss out. Trust - A woman needs to trust the man she is with. This is where guys who are "reliable" and honest do well. When you put all these elements together, you get the definition I use in my teaching: Attraction (in women) is the feeling of being desired, by a powerful man, who she can trust. So now that you have the theory down, lets talk about what you actually do. First, you want to plan the date out and take the lead. The date should be about showing her something new and interesting. Doing things that are exciting and even a bit scary can really help to create arousal and attraction. I explain this in my Science of Attraction video. Keep the date moving to keep it interesting. Sitting at a table eating dinner for 2 hours is a HARD date to keep interesting. Moving to multiple venues (ie, coffee, then food then drinks somewhere else) can really help keep things interesting. Open up, and get her to open up to you. Communicating who you are and building trust are key to attraction. The New York Times has a list of 36 questions that lead to love that you might be interested in. I also have a blog post about "Qualification" which is a technique to get people to open up (and feel good about it). If you do this right, you will be having FUN, and you will have shown some confidence by taking the lead and showing her new things, and you will have created a bit of trust and comfort by opening up to her and getting her to open up to you. So what do you do now? You express desire. Most guys screw this up - they either express desire too early, and come across as needy, or they don't express desire at all and play "hard to get". Instead, wait until the right moment, when she's having fun and clearly into you, and then let her know how you feel. It doesn't need to be over the top, or overly flattering, just something simple and honest. So at the end of the date you might look her in the eyes and say: "I really liked spending time with you today. When can I see you again?"
[–]PandaDentist 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm on mobile so I'm not taking time to format it I just copy pasted.
[–]HelicopterSack 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Quite the wall of text but thanks mate.
[–]Tenmagnet3 points 10 years ago* [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
Really? It's also on my blog at Tenmagnet.com (second post from the top)
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Why don't you just post an imgur mirror
[–]themodsarepricks 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
hey Tenmagnet. Where can I look to learn more about attraction and what women are attracted to in depth? I'd like a better more deeper understanding of this stuff. I think you perspective seems refreshing but I wish I could gain more knowledge about it. Any books or single resources you can recommend? I'm trying to stay away from blogs/forums/etc with a lot of information as I rather not get overwhelmed by too much content.
Thanks
[–]Interversity 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Models by Mark Manson. Tenmagnet's answer to the question is pretty much exactly the same thing that Models says, but Models is a whole book with lots of details and analysis.
I'd go so far as to call it one of the bibles of the manosphere.
[–]Summum 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yea that's annoying until you make an account. Quora has some pretty interesting content lately.
[–]mesmeriz 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
Does this work as well when it's the other way around? (Meaning girl impressing a guy?)
[–]SwagYoloJesus 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You mean women attracting men? Nah, we just want them to be hot.
[–]mesmeriz 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hmmm, interesting...
Damn, sucks not to be hot but cute. :(
[–]REJECTED_FROM_MENSA 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Depends on the man. For me, yes.
[+][deleted] -33 points-32 points-31 points 10 years ago (34 children) | Copy Link
I've seen guys in rags seduce well-dressed, hot women.
1.Height. 2. Looks.(handsome face, perfect teeth, perfect hair etc) 3. Muscles. 4.Big cock(to keep them around)
Fashion and style and all that shit doesn't work.
[–]Tenmagnet21 points 10 years ago* [recovered] (24 children) | Copy Link
Where do you hang out where dudes in rags are picking up hot chicks? Do they charge cover?
Fyi I only have one of the things from your list above and I do fine.
[–]piezod 6 points7 points8 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Is it number 4?
[–]ClassyBurn 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Hahaha and boom goes the dynamite.
I will say that I've overlooked idiosyncrasies that I might have minded otherwise, simply because of that cock. Don't get me wrong, it fades even with a great cock if he's an asshole.. but it might take me longer to admit it.
[–]blondedre3000 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm suspecting he's referring to frat guys that wear tshirts with prints or some shit.
[+][deleted] -18 points-17 points-16 points 10 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link
You know what I mean. Hot construction workers(yes, they do exist!) who're coming out of the site and all dirty and with work clothes. Guys who show up all sweaty and with worn-out clothes. Regardless of what they dress like: women aren't looking at the clothes.
They're looking at the height, the face, the broad-shoulders and the muscles. That's how women are impressed. Ya'll can impress a chick with clothes. They're called gold-diggers.
[–]Tenmagnet22 points 10 years ago* [recovered] (17 children) | Copy Link
I have literally never seen anything remotely like this. I've never seen construction workers go to a club straight from work, and I've never seen hot girls at the kind of place where that might happen.
[–]BruceAckman 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I worked in construction and I never saw this either haha I only ever saw one Channing Tatum-like worker and a few Enrique Iglesias; this was working in Studio City, Malibu, and other high-income areas, too.
We would put in our eight hours, or finish up what we had to do, grab our shit and then go home to eat/shower. It's tiring work and the sites get you full of dust and sweat.
I think he means that men who don't know how to dress themselves, somehow still manage to get hot girls. Also... the club? Huh?
[+][deleted] -9 points-8 points-7 points 10 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
There are other places to pick hot girls other than the club.. like.. attractive women walk from A to B. Men can approach them wherever as long as they have the looks.
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
man you sound incredibly pathetic. no wonder you can't get a girl.
[+][deleted] -27 points-26 points-25 points 10 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
I sound incredibly pathetic because I don't look like a faggot with expensive clothes and a tryhard attitude when the guy next to me who is a male model can get laid at will by 10/10 just by smiling? Yeah, I am pathetic alright. I can't get a girl because I'm 5'6'', son.
[–]gozags4 7 points8 points9 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Know the real difference between the male model and you? Self-confidence. Sure being good-looking gives the male model some natural confidence, but having a negative self-outlook over things you can't control (height) is only hurting your chances. Some people dress nicely because it helps their confidence. I like to call it "You do you, man."
Exactly.
[–]ClitorisShredder83 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
hahahahahahahaha moron
[–]1337syntaX 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Your clothes don't have to be expensive. You can shop at Old Navy or H&M if you know how to dress yourself and still look good. I have a friend that's around 5'6" and he gets plenty of girls. You don't get any because you're a crybaby that makes excuses for yourself.
[–]pacg 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ah, come on. You can get a girl. Practically anyone can.
Seriously, is your height the only issue?
As an aside, you don't have to call anyone a faggot to get your point across.
[–]shadyultima 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I'm 5'7, not muscular and honestly pretty average looking, but I can get girls
[+][deleted] -11 points-10 points-9 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Do you get girls or do you get landwhales?
[–]shadyultima 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I can attract any type of girl I want. Obviously I still get rejected, but I don't care. My successes more than make up for my failures.
[–]katalis 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Mate, I'm shorter than you (5'5"), I work out but I don't have a fitness model body type at all, I have a rounded belly and I wear glasses. Oh and my hair is a mess everyday. And fancy clothes... A sweater is the most fancy thing I have. And I'm having dinner in half an hour with a model student two heads taller than me tonight. And you know what? It doesn't matter. Why? Because I went there and talked with her.
Complain about a problem doesn't solve the problem.
[–]ilovethosedogs 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You sound like you watch too many movies.
[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No, I don't watch much TV. I was just lucky(and unlucky) to have been raised with male models as my friends. I always had an advantage over other men at seeing women how they really are. Women are far more selective than men could ever hope to be.
I'm not just talking about women who are 7/10 and up. Every woman who isn't a landwhale can have sex with a male model. There's no hope in hell the girl who isn't on their level or close to it is going to get a relationship, unless she's amazing in every way, but the vast majority of women who are healthy can get men who are far better-looking than most men, and they do so. That is why it is so hard for men who aren't male models to get laid.
And that nonsense of men only need confidence is great to have. For a moment. When you see women approach male models, and women rejecting men who are in their league so much, so often. The reality of it all kicks in and you come to understand that only a few men are meant to bang girls.
Oh, I am well aware that most men are in relationships. That doesn't mean they are getting pussy. Or getting it often. it just means that they have a job and the girl finds the guy bearable enough to put out a few times a month.
[–]F3arless_Bubble 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fashion and style are def a factor lol. You might have fashion but maybe you're missing something else.
[–]blondedre3000 -5 points-4 points-3 points 10 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Reddit: where cold hard facts get you downvoted.
[+][deleted] -6 points-5 points-4 points 10 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
That's because guys want to believe they have the same value that male models and sports stars have. Truth of the matter is that if the vast majority of men would disappear - the men who aren't hot - from this day on, most women would not notice at all.
These kids have never seen male models in action. They have never seen hot women throw themselves at these guys and offering free pussy. They believe they can get women by being confident. This whole sub is about confidence. Be confident and women will want you. Ahahaha, Its very endearing, but what can you expct from early 20s boys. Women aren't seduced. Women know within 5 minutes of meeting you for the first time if they will ever fuck you. No amount of confidence, social skills, fashion sense and body posture cannot get a pussy wet. A brad Pitt face and body can. Shame that he's probbly the most attractive man to ever live.
[–]SwagYoloJesus 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Literally nothing you said is accurate.
[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points-3 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
its not accurate because you say it isn't so? Ahaha, I've had PUA gurus go to nightclubs with my male model friends, and my male model friends got all of the girls they wanted without even moving from where they stood. And I've seen PUA gurus work at it as if they were the Chinese trying to stop the Mongols from Invading China and guess what, they got nothing at all. Not even average women.
Aesthetics is all that matters to women. The closer you are to being Apollo, Heracles and Alexander The Great the more chicks you have, the hotter you are, and it becomes as easy as breathing. Confidence doesn't mean shit if you don't look like Chris Evans.
[–]SwagYoloJesus 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Since you cite subjective experiences, I'll cite one too. I have a former classmate who looks like Steve Buscemi on a bad day, but he's a social butterfly and a true alpha in every sense. He knows everyone, loves to have fun, he's funny, smart, always the center of attention. He's been with a model-grade gorgeous girl for years.
Sure, looks can't hurt, but don't compare the way women are attracted to men to the way men are attracted to women. All we need is a pretty face with a slutty vibe. They need status. One component of high status can be model-grade looks, but not necessarily. A charismatic charmeur in a tailored suit who drives a Bentley, gets on well with everyone, is the life of the party, and just exudes that confident, commanding, masculine vibe will be attractive regardless of his facial or bodily features. For women, he will be the "there's just something about him" guy, and that something is his status.
So, sure, looks are important, but only terribly important if a guy only has status because of his looks and nothing else. You can easily offset it with money, power, and charm.
[–]Mod_Lang 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Nightclubs are only about looks. You can't talk, it's too dark to even make proper eye contact or see what people really look like, everyone's dressed flashy, and it attracts people who want to be in that superficial environment. So yeah, hot guys and gals do well. No shit. But it's of absolutely no relevance to socializing anywhere else.
Try going places where people actually need to speak to each other: bars, pubs, cafes, or better yet house parties, gallery openings, concerts, festivals, etc and then get back to us on how much looks matter compared with being a decent conversationalist, being interesting, taking a genuine interest in others, and being able to lead an interaction and lead a woman to another venue or knowing the right way to ask her out.
Women know within 5 minutes of meeting you for the first time if they will ever fuck you.
The best proof against this - and proof that women can decide not to fuck seemingly cool guys in the last 30 seconds of a date (including ones they're making out with) because of something classless he does or says - is to watch pretty much any episode of Blind Date. Go ahead and educate yourself, they're all on youtube.
I'm not just talking about nightclubs. Whatever women say, especially when they claim BS like they weren't attracted to their boyfriends at first but then as they began to talk to the guys they developed feelings or whatver(that doesn't happen at all) all that matters to women is looks.
Without perfect looks, if the guy has any imperfection, women are incapable of feeling sexual desire for him. Yes, many men are in relationships and have flaws but they are only in relationships because they ''make'' it up with money or with a good future income. Women are not attracted to them.
Women are only attracted to the best specimens mankind has to offer.
That's all very great and I appreciate the effort you put in your post but sadly that is not how it works. Being a good conversionalist, being interesting, taking a genuine interest in others does not cause sexual attraction in women. Yes, it can lead to a date. But why would a woman reject a date? Free food, attention and she'll be able to tweet to her girlfriends how about it.
I know guys who are decent looking, aren't short, aren't overweight, don't have physical flaws, aren't ugly and did all of that and they still had to pay for free dinners, expensive gifts etc just to get a handjob! And the girs weren't hot atall.
Nah. Women don't really care about classless. In the sense that they don't care if the guy is a douchebag. You think Ashton Kutcher and the guys from the show Jackass ever had any trouble getting laid?
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[–]SirByron 21 points22 points23 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Tenmagnet2 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
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