Does having a really high standard for men really bad?

Captain_w00t · 2020-11-07T00:26:28+00:00

It depends by what you mean for “standards”. If you’re waiting for Prince Charming, that’s fantasy, not a standard.

If you mean a healthy/stable/mature/honest/caring person, then it’s legit to look for someone like that.

im_a_teapot_dude · 2020-11-07T00:01:14+00:00

[permanently deleted]

cottagecorehoe · 2020-11-07T01:00:21+00:00

I've said something about this in another comment, but I'll paste it here!

Everyone is allowed to have standards and honestly, it's up to you if it is too much. You just have to understand that the more standards you add, the more you tighten and lessen your dating pool of people who fit the bill, so it might take you longer to find a partner. You have to weigh the importance of having a partner with the importance of having the right partner and decide that balance.

I (a woman) too have standards, but I balance it out with having an open mind. I know what things are must-haves and what things are just nice-to-haves and I don't expect someone to "tick off all the boxes" before considering them. If enough/a few feel right, I'll give it a date or two; no harm in giving someone you have a good feeling about a chance.

DaydreamingMister · 2020-11-07T02:45:34+00:00

Here is the recipe I recommend (it captures the journey that led to finding my amazing sweetheart)…

Step one: Have your super high standards.

Step two: Begin to improve yourself so you resemble your standards.

Step three: Watch how peaceful, strong, and complete you start to feel as you improve yourself, until eventually you see that what you want is exactly what you attract by the person you become.

mojojojo2069 · 2020-11-07T01:14:09+00:00

What are your standards?

atomtom65 · 2020-11-07T03:14:50+00:00

Just remember nobody is perfect. You won't find that.

pua_max · 2020-11-07T00:27:57+00:00

Keep them high, but also improve yourself. I’ve always had high standards for women, but I don’t think my personal value has been commensurate with them until fairly recently.

FlanneryODostoevsky · 2020-11-07T02:56:14+00:00

Depends on what areas the high standards are in. Some women have been treated horribly and thus have high standards for respect. Others dont likw watching a guy stagnate and not being overtly successful so they avoid those who dont live a certain lifestyle. Either way, dont ask for perfection because it is not perfection which you offer.

Idontlikeredditors6 · 2020-11-07T06:22:27+00:00

Your guy friend is trying to bang you.

amazinglittlebird · 2020-11-07T00:15:46+00:00

Same here, keep them high

FlirtyOwl · 2020-11-07T05:26:45+00:00

Not if you can own it. But I think you should revise your standards in order for them to be adjusted to reality aka what you have to 'choose' from. If what you want is human decency and companionship you should find it easy enough, a lot of people lack that in their lifes. If you want someone in the same financial bracket you are in, it reduces the prospects by how well you are off in life unfortunatly, so the more successfull you are, the less of a pool you have. If on top of that, or by any order you want to prioritize, you want someone 6'0plus you are excluding about 87% of all men and 99% of all women ( just by the height standard alone) who possibly passed all the previous standards. Damn only 2 inches more at 6'2 you removed 96% of all men from the pool . Perfect smile. Funny. Great with kids. All of them add up and 'eliminate' possibilities.. Im not saying at all you should not have standards, if it doesnt make you happy or fullfilled its dead anyway. Just put in prespective what you are asking for and be the judge of how likely you are to find it in a real human being. Good luck!

tibles20 · 2020-11-07T08:37:21+00:00

If you have a standard you will never find a man ànd you don't want to be loved

fmzh · 2020-11-07T16:45:42+00:00

Sometimes lowering your standars can helps to discover a world of amazing guys.

theforgeproject · 2020-11-07T17:26:25+00:00

It’s fine to have high standards. But understand that drastically shrinks your choices. So don’t complain for being lonely for months or even years

Philipparty · 2020-11-07T19:10:19+00:00

Depends on the standard. Are they healthy/realistic? Or toxic, superficiall, or avoidant?

Standards are a good thing, if it is for the right reason.

_Rynzler_ · 2020-11-07T19:19:01+00:00

Aint nothing wrong with having standards. But sometimes i see below average girls telling me their standards and its like “come on lets be real...”. But then unlike men they actually date thise guys.

deathbecomesme123456 · 2020-11-07T20:37:41+00:00

If they’re things you can’t accept in a partner, then don’t accept them. Standards are individual for a reason. If you personally don’t like someone who is a gamer, it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with gaming, it just means it’s not for YOU. You don’t want to end up in a relationship that you’re regretting or that turns you off or that you feel you have to make yourself like them.

_sandman_96 · 2020-11-07T22:16:32+00:00

As long as you have the same high standards for yourself as well, fuck what they think, you know what you want and shouldnt have to compromise your own happiness to be in a relationship, the right person will make themselves known

Academic-Roll-7 · 2020-11-07T17:46:42+00:00

There’s nothing wrong with having high standards, that means you value yourself and want what you think you deserve (something I’ve struggled with in the past)

However, you should ask yourself if you actually have high standards or if they are unrealistic standards, two completely different things.

bluejay8888 · 2020-11-06T23:54:56+00:00

Bump.

Title	Does having a really high standard for men really bad?
Author	Futurenurse2000
Upvotes	16
Comments	43
Date	November 6, 2020 11:53 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/jpgdte/does_having_a_really_high_standard_for_men_really/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/does-having-a-really-high-standard-for-men-really.1505260 https://theredarchive.com/post/1505260

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