Get zero or negative interest in real life but a ton of interest online - what is going on and how can I change it?

letsgetwizzyy · 2024-01-27T15:32:14+00:00

There's some "vibe" or presence you are giving off that rubbs them the wrong way. Do you have resting bitch face, do you look gay? Do you have really bad breath?

You logic is sound, you should be getting more attention in real life than dating apps if you're killing dating apps, so I would suggest asking someone you trust to give you an honest assessment of the vibe you give off when people see you. It is entirely possible that you come off as super intimidating. You can PM me pics and I can give advice in regards to what vibes you may be giving off without realizing it.

Now, I experience this too as I am also very attractive, it is also entirely possible that they perceive you as intimidatingly attractive and that you are far too good looking for them. I've had women think I was super hot and when I tried talking to them they didn't really give me the time of day because they thought I was just going to hurt them / thought I was too good. That is also a very likely possibility. When women think you are far too good looking for them, they will put up a natural defense barrier because sometimes it's hard for them to comprehend how really good looking guys would be into them if they aren't as attractive (women don't realize that guys will basically sleep with anything).

A woman's only agency over a man is her looks, so when you are substantially more attractive than her she loses the majority of the power (assuming you are behaving masculine in the relationship). Also, women love rejecting men in person who are better looking than them because it inflates their ego (super hot guy hit on them) and they can say they rejected you, almost indicating they're better without that being the case.

It's either one of the two or a combination of both. DM me pics if you want and i'll assess.

This article discusses why good looking men struggle with women: https://open.substack.com/pub/jackedguy/p/why-good-looking-men-struggle-with?r=31tj3q&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

creamyturtle · 2024-01-27T16:34:22+00:00

man I have the exact opposite problem

MrAnonPoster · 2024-01-27T19:18:49+00:00

You dont get interest online. You get baited for attention online

Every-Performance985 · 2024-01-28T08:38:11+00:00

From what I hear I’m assuming you’re a good looking guy and these women are get defensive when you approach them and they’re put on the spot.

Other dynamics also come in play in real life, especially in social situations around other people. They’d rather be seen being mean to the hot guy to look like they’re in demand.

You should still be getting IOIs though if you’re an attractive man, if not, your might be a vibe related

DaygameCode · 2024-01-27T16:08:19+00:00

Why do you assume women have to signal you to approach them? just tell them you want or get to know them because you think they are cute and if they say that they are happy to meet you then introduce yourself. You don’t need to wait to be approached which will most likely never happen, and you don’t need choosing signals, you just have to ask them for consent to meet them.

adamgerges · 2024-01-27T17:33:54+00:00

oh I have the exact same problem. my friends told me it’s because I have a strong rbf and come off a bit standoffish

pgoc111971 · 2024-01-27T22:08:28+00:00

You just described my situation word for word. Women from online tell me I’m attractive and imply that I probably get a lot of interest everywhere I go but in person I feel invisible. I first thought that maybe my photos are way better than how I look in person but online women will tell me I look exactly like my photos and often even better than them. It’s such a mystery to me 🤷🏻‍♂️

jverveslayer · 2024-01-28T08:09:40+00:00

Could be a lot of things. It sounds like you have a great old profile and are probably very physically attractive.

The in-person issue could be: - you're going to venues that are bad for cold approach - your body language/nonverbals aren't great - You're bad at opening - something about your interactions with others seem off from the outside (unlikely)

A girl not immediately being receptive off the open is normal in a lot of places. You should expect that and learn how to work through it. This can even take 10+ minutes with certain types of girls.

A lot of specific dynamics depend on the type of places you're going, the city you're in, etc.

Preselection/social proof can make this easier as well, but it sounds like you might already have a little of that.

Try to approach the most receptive person in the group. It doesn't matter if she's unattractive. Or if it's a dude. If you can have fun with them and they enjoys talking to you, you can should be able to bring the rest of the group into the conversation pretty easily.

Honestly, there's a lot of basic stuff that you can fuck up when opening that will cause this. Being too quiet, not opening the whole group, bad body language, etc. If I had to guess, you're probably not following through with the open and looking for girls to be immediately receptive (hot girls rarely will). You have to be engaging and different

senator_chill · 2024-01-29T06:08:21+00:00

I'm curious what your bio / OLD profile looks like. Like most people said my problem is the opposite. But I still think I could get on your level with OLD with the right pictures / bio

Title	Get zero or negative interest in real life but a ton of interest online - what is going on and how can I change it?
Author	Rach1943
Upvotes	4
Comments	19
Date	January 27, 2024 2:40 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1acc8y7/get_zero_or_negative_interest_in_real_life_but_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/get-zero-or-negative-interest-in-real-life-but-a.1427951 https://theredarchive.com/post/1427951

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