Holding hands backfired

Electric_kundalini · 2022-05-17T15:21:52+00:00

Please mark this handholding as NSFW

TerminatorReborn · 2022-05-17T15:33:42+00:00

I never hold hands before I have kissed them a few times, I think it's weird. High fiving them and holding for a couple more seconds than usual to build some tension is good. Touching them on the arm, shoulder, forearm, legs is better imo. Having said all that, I don't think just the holding hands thing was the problem here. Don't overthink about stuff like that, it goes against what seduction is about.

Extra and more important advice: 1. Don't message them thanking them and saying you had a great time, only do it mid conversation on another day, with the intent to inviting them to go out again "I had a great time that day, we should do something similar next friday" 2. Her ignoring your message is not sending mixed signals, its pretty clear signal that she is not interested.

SignalAssist538 · 2022-05-17T15:29:54+00:00

[permanently deleted]

sunsetgal24 · 2022-05-17T14:15:08+00:00

I really don't think it's about the hand holding.

Robofrogg1 · 2022-05-17T14:25:00+00:00

You don’t hold hands like a robot just because. Also, you should have made it very clear it was a date. Otherwise, as what happened her, you’ll just end up friend-zoning yourself.

Liberaler · 2022-05-17T15:01:16+00:00

either one of the following things or a combination of both. My intuiton tells me it's the second option.

You did not show enough intent, when you asked her out. In doubt give her a direct compliment before asking.
You did not escalate enough. By taking her hand you broke the touch barrier, but did not fire her up enough, because you did not escalate further. For this reason she put you in the 'boring' box. Maybe you underestimated her.

TheFifthEspada679 · 2022-05-17T15:33:40+00:00

Personally I see hand holding as very intimate and would never do it unless I’ve reached a stage where im getting kinda serious with a girl. …this might sound back to front but it’s true for me at least. So I see this as a weird way to approach things to go in for handholding at the start.

cobraCL · 2022-05-17T14:26:41+00:00

Not about the hand holding I think... Maybe her interpretation of the meeting was mostly platonic, and the lack of reciprocity was a sign that chemistry was lacking a bit.

Holding hands is a bold move, but I think some flirtation was/is necessary to build a little tension and curiosity first.

How was her behavior before and after the hand holding, or at the start and end of your date?

atomant88 · 2022-05-17T15:51:24+00:00

always make it clear that its a date

always ask for consent before touching anyone. even just for holding hands

OtherwiseCode8134 · 2022-05-17T15:52:32+00:00

You should be clear more about your intentions. This sounds like you tried to trap her into a date. Read her signals, if it’s not an enthusiastic yes then it’s essentially a “no.” She didn’t shoo your hand away but she also didn’t reach for it after you already tried making a move. She’s being polite but also not letting things progress further.

You know when someone’s into you. Doesn’t sound like she’s interested.

Real-Edge-9288 · 2022-05-17T16:08:48+00:00

when you do moves that give off a relationship vibe then she might get scared and close off. maybe she was looking for something casual or for things to move slower. leave her a while to cool off... maybe you will meet up by chance, unless that happens forget about her.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2022-05-17T16:11:59+00:00

Needy, intrusive, and forced is how I would describe your interaction with her thus far

Vigeto619 · 2022-05-17T16:46:50+00:00

You seem to needy

MattPruga · 2022-05-17T17:02:14+00:00

since you make hand holding sound like such a big deal, I'm guessing you are inexperienced. While escalating you shouldn't put attention to it, talk about something unrelated while you do it.

She went on a date with you, she was probably interested to a degree but you were not confident to make the move, which kills the attraction she was building up.

I slowly increase the escalation along these lines:

High five, fist bump, touch her shoulder (all of these things are done while talking to her, like when telling jokes), touch her hands (observe jewelry like necklace, rings, etc.), hug, kiss. You didn't make the next step.

Aggressive_Soil_5134 · 2022-05-17T17:30:54+00:00

No one takes time to respond if their interested. Not in todays time where we check Social media all day

Romantic_Adventurer · 2022-05-17T17:42:18+00:00

meet more people, open more sets, make more friends, focus on your self and your physical health.

GlitteringPause8 · 2022-05-17T17:45:58+00:00

Maybe she is just extremely non confrontational and didn’t want to reject you face to face when you held her hand so she just went along with it

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-05-17T18:07:57+00:00

No mixed signals. She’s not interested.

Snakehead004 · 2022-05-17T18:27:12+00:00

I feel like hand holding is more of a 2nd-3rd date thing. First time meeting solo maybe just be fun and physically escilate but don't hold her hand. You're not her bf. Just be light and playful.. Arm, hip touches with flow of conversation and go from there based on her reaction...

Bingo_is_the_man · 2022-05-17T16:50:55+00:00

Dude this story is too wild.

Title	Holding hands backfired
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	36
Date	May 17, 2022 1:48 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/urmvbb/holding_hands_backfired/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/holding-hands-backfired.1259394 https://theredarchive.com/post/1259394

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