How do i grow Balls?

KickassAcademy · 2013-01-20T23:29:49+00:00

Forget if she was giving you signs, the goal is to do things that scare you.

The point is not to read signs (yet). The point is to get up and talk, to say anything that scares you. You need to habituate yourself to moving towards your fear instead of away from it.

Right now you associate rejection with pain. So you freeze up instead of doing what you know you should.

You need to associate rejection with learning. You need to realize how much every blowout is teaching you. How much it is moving you closer to your ultimate goal of being an amazing dude, of having that amazing girlfriend or whatever it is that you want most from social situations. If you could get blown out 10 times a day for two months, I promise you, you'd be transformed. And trust me, they won't all be blowouts (I suspect this one wouldn't have been).

You need to associate pain with walking away. Think of how you are letting future awesome you down when you tuck your tail between your legs and walk out. Think of how you are signing yourself up for a life dictated by the limits of your comfort zone. Don't want to live in a cage of your own fears? Resolve to do SOMETHING that scares you next time.

When you see an opportunity, just move your feet. The 3 second rule is the truth. Your shit-talking brain can't keep up if you beeline it.

If you know you are going out with the intention of meetin girls check out my comment below for a REALLY powerful way to make yourself sack up.

http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/16xzdy/hey_seddit_been_lurking_for_a_while_and_i_love/c80fdn1

joope125 · 2013-01-21T02:53:22+00:00

Think about this:

If I ask you to name all the books you've read, you couldn't. If I told you the title of a book, you could tell me whether or not you've read it.

Now, when you think about approaching and freeze up because you don't know what to say, you're imagining you're going to have to tell her the titles of all the books you know. In reality, once you get into the conversation, it's more like being asked which books you've read. The beauty of that is that whether the answer is yes or no, you have an answer.

Now to get rid of the metaphor: if you approach, you will be able to have a conversation. That's how you work, you don't create a conversation and show it to her - you build off of each other and create it through the interaction. You will be primed and prompted towards things to say. You never have to worry about what you say to your friends/dog/cat, do you?

Just try it, let your idea of reality crumble before you as you go outside of your comfort zone and receive an unexpected outcome. Approach and then think about what you're going to say.

Der_Bradly · 2013-01-21T00:28:59+00:00

quit giving a fuck. Looking like a tool is fun sometimes.

leodoestheopposite · 2013-01-21T00:41:02+00:00

Do that for about 1,000 times, and you'll get the courage to go up to a girl and talk to her. Of course things are not going to be pretty, don't get discouraged, after 1,000 approaches, you'll get good at talking with them, but you'll fail at getting a phone #.

Persist! After 1,000 conversations you'll figure out how to get a phone #. And once you get your first phone #, you won't know what to do with it.

Keep at it! 1,000 phone # and you'll become great at setting up a first date! And, of course that first date will suck. By now you know the drill, 12,00 dates and.....

So OK, it doesn't take 1,000 tries, but that number is different from each one of us, so, g out there and push yourself, trust me you're not going to die, your ego might feel as if it's getting bruised, but it's more like lighting weights, after a bit of pain, you grow stronger.

The beauty is that reading about PUA/seduction and hanging out /r/seduction is like getting steroids, you still have to do the work, but you get an unfair advantage over the guys who are just plain clueless.

Go back there tiger.

mypuaaccount1984 · 2013-01-20T23:31:57+00:00

Two things:

You are not your mind. This is from the first chapter of "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. Disclaimer: the only chapter I've read, no patience for spiritual shit. But, the reality is your mind isn't you. You are a being, and your mind is something separate from you as a being. Most people think they are their mind. So, start thinking of your brain as not you, and things your brain says as just stupid shit that can be ignored. Your brain has a defence mechanism to avoid things like humiliation and rejection, so it tries to talk you out of putting yourself in socially dangerous situations. It's wrong, recognize the reason it is doing that and tell it to shut up.
Just fucking do it. The first time I opened a girl I went up to her and told her she was incredibly beautiful, and then basically ran away. She smiled, her eyes got big, she put her hand over her chest, and said thank you that's so sweet. Sure, I didn't get shit from it, but absolutely nothing bad happened, she was genuinely flattered, it was obvious from her reaction. After that, the second time I was actually able to stay and talk to the woman I called gorgeous for a few minutes. The third time, talked to her with less nervousness and more confidence. Each time is easier, the first time is the hardest. Just go up to a fucking HB9 and tell her she's beautiful. That should be your goal for day 1. Once you see you don't die, you can continue.

MaaarvinB · 2013-01-21T06:13:33+00:00

Holy fuck bro this girl literally put herself on a platter for you. You messed up big time but it's okay as long as you see her again, you can make amends. Even if you don't you can use this as a learning experience. Just think to yourself, "what do I have to lose". She is receptive, cool. She isn't, cool just keep walking but if this girl has followed you twice and even said bye then there is a very strong possibility she's into you. Honestly, the best thing to do is to just get used to not thinking about approaching and just doing. A quote I like is "over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind". Just don't think and let the conversation flow naturally. I preach this a lot on here but getting in a rhythm is key as after a while things just flow from one step to another. Good luck on future attempts.

AverageNapkin · 2013-01-21T09:55:35+00:00

If there is one thing I've learned as a sedditor it's this:

"There is time to think, and then there is now."

Try to keep that in the back of your mind. Thoughts often hold you back and you have to know when you can and cannot "think".

pitchforkseller · 2013-01-21T03:37:22+00:00

Stop being a pussy. Seriously, she couldnt of made it easier for you to approach her at this point..!

2013-01-20T23:40:54+00:00

practice

Stephen6798 · 2013-01-21T01:58:34+00:00

Stop caring about what will happen if all goes wrong, it never hurts to just try.

sedditaccount2 · 2013-01-21T03:10:07+00:00

Here's my advice. I used to have the same problem hardcore.

Go out on your own to somewhere where you don't know anybody. Go alone, with nobody to judge you. Don't let yourself leave until you've met X number of girls. Yes, this sounds easy, but can be intimidating. Talk to guys at first if it helps, its usually a good way of gaining confidence.

If you see a pretty girl and get nervous because she is giving you signs, then just realize that she is imperfect, and that she has no right to make you nervous. Also, realize that a shitty opening or interaction doesn't mean anything. You either learn more from it in the future, or you manage to turn the conversation around. Its a win-win.

Remember, a lot of fear stems from rejection, but once you realize rejection doesn't mean anything, you'll be unstoppable.

2013-01-21T16:40:07+00:00

KickassAcademy hit the nail on the head but a short additional point is this:

When you make eye contact with a girl, decide right then and there to go talk to her. Don't even give your brain a chance to make up any excuses. Make eye contact, smile, MOVE. It doesn't matter what you say, what matters is that you're saying it.

FuckYouGod · 2013-01-20T23:02:33+00:00

Alcohol.

leodoestheopposite · 2013-01-21T01:19:08+00:00

See also: http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/16xzdy/hey_seddit_been_lurking_for_a_while_and_i_love/

perae · 2013-01-21T14:19:32+00:00

Good to see that someone is in the same boat as I am. I've had major self confidence problems for a looong long time. I started working on them a year ago. First I decided to work on everything on the outside. Lost 20 kilos in a year, im pretty satisfied with how I look now, but that didnt really help me too much with my confidence issues. I still think im the fat kid that I used to be. I thought that losing weight would help, but now that I think about it, I should probably focus on developing some true confidence. Accept facts, both good and bad about myself. I think you might need to do that aswell.

Ive had similar situations. "Clear signals", eye winks, eye contact, smiling. All the same things you basically mentioned. But it always failed on my end beacuse I was not confident enough to actually continue something that the girls started. But try to remember that with every failure there is always something good. Just think about what happened to you. A girl talked to you, she looked you in the eye, was clearly interested. You are doing something right, and you should feel good about yourself that a random girl did stuff like that to you. Next time when your thinking about approaching a girl, remember that there was that one girl at least who did find you interesting. Just think like that with every girl. Assume without asking that everyone finds you interesting. If they dont, I bet you will still feel much better that you at least tried. Every single time you "fail", you actually win. Keep it up man!

leodoestheopposite · 2013-01-25T18:20:32+00:00

Stop lurking here, go out there.

Google rejection therapy.

20thHand · 2013-01-21T02:32:06+00:00

By growing your brain. Repeat to yourself 20 times a day "I cherish women and admire their beauty, but I am not needy." Then you'll have no problems going up and talking to women.

xxzulu24xx · 2013-01-21T03:21:32+00:00

Step 1: grow balls. Done.

Title	How do i grow Balls?
Author	MaaarvinB
Upvotes	42
Comments	49
Date	January 20, 2013 11:00 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/16ycil/how_do_i_grow_balls/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-grow-balls.1346085 https://theredarchive.com/post/1346085

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