How do I successfully invite/get invited (by)people to do something fun?

itsiceyo · 2012-07-09T20:09:51+00:00

the one thing to remember is that people have their own lives, and they're only worried about themselves. As you get older, you start to notice this more often, but sometimes you just gotta ride on your own, or stroll onto the bball courts and jump into a pick up game. (tis what i do) Keep continuing on having your fun, and people will follow or join you. Dont let it get you down though.

kke3nn · 2012-07-09T22:19:23+00:00

Hey man, I have had the same problem as you before. The key here is that you need to PROVIDE value to these 'friends' of yours. There is a difference between PROVIDING and DEMONSTRATING value. If you are DHV'ing the hell out of them maybe they think you are TOO high of value and become aloof or hesitant.

Providing value is making THEM feel better by actually creating an emotional or even physical connection. You need to build trust and try to not come off as needy or too powerful. Balance is key.

I have known some real popular, super high value individuals that would get blown away and rejected by parties or groups. If you want to start making good non-flaky friends, you need to start off on their level of value or slightly above it, then begin to increase their value by connecting/complimenting laughing humor etc.. And this will thus increase your own value in a natural way. :)

iLoginToComment · 2012-07-09T19:57:01+00:00

First go pick up all the material you can on whats going on locally. ALWAYS know what is going on that week. Go out every day after work/school and start a convo with people. Throw in some evens for the week which you think , based on calibration, they would be interested in. DO NOT invite them. Talk about how much fun you & your friends have when you're out (which should be true). Do a false time constraint and as you're about to leave say something along the line of "you know what, here (give her your phone), lets exchange info, come out with me (of better , my friends) to X or Y later this week"

Its easier than you think to invite people out if you have a plan. Most people are boring and want people to lead them. Be a leader by having a plan, be confident by approaching, be decisive by executing correctly and the world shall be yours.

Squand · 2012-07-09T22:07:03+00:00

I have a method I use. But I don't have this problem, so my method might not be useful to you.

Before I write about how I go about my philosophy, I want to know, Do you feel like you don't have close friends? Because that's what it feels like you're saying.

puaCurveBall · 2012-07-09T19:50:09+00:00

Give value. Read the sidebar, there is a post specifically about this in one of larger guides.

edit: hah, that is the exact post I was thinking about

Show value when you are in person. Show value 1on1 and they'll vouch for you when it comes time to invite people.

baianobranco · 2012-07-10T01:40:24+00:00

Honestly I don't really have any specific advice for getting them to go the first time, but I can tell you that once you do get them to go out/do something once or twice it will be much easier to get them to go out in the future.

matrix2002 · 2012-07-10T02:18:44+00:00

You got some good advice here.

I would add that I have work friends that I get along great with, but dont spend any free time with them. And I have friends that I spend time with in my free time.

It is wierd how we group people in our minds and categorize them.

Good luck.

Trenks · 2012-07-10T02:23:30+00:00

Get different or more like minded friends. Some people just don't like to do stuff.

2012-07-10T02:27:29+00:00

My mother always told me, "You need to send a letter if you want to get a letter." Same concept applies. If you're not a fun awesome dude inviting people over to do fun awesome things, you won't be invited to do fun awesome things by fun awesome people.

"Be the change you want to see in the world." -MLK, Jr.

boss413 · 2012-07-10T04:01:36+00:00

This could be a great X-Post in /r/SocialEngineering tomorrow, in case you'd like to get a more asexual answer.

frogma · 2012-07-10T06:22:35+00:00

Sounds to me like the dude wants weed and you can't provide it, so he doesn't care about you.

OR, these other guys already described the issue and hopefully you're already acting on it.

eablokker · 2012-07-10T09:44:11+00:00

Go and do fun things on your own, the things you would do if you were to invite or be invited to do. Then tell people how much fun you had. If they seem interested in your fun, you can say hey wanna come with me next time, I'll let you know when I'm going. If nobody wants to go it doesnt matter because you know how to have fun without them, it's just that you're having so much fun that you want to share that with other people so they can enjoy having fun too.

austingoeshard · 2012-07-10T09:57:07+00:00

To get invited places i suggest you make sure to keep in contact with all existing friends. The more people you are regularly acquainted with the better chance of a invite to a party. Try to contribute something when your out, be funny or tell cool stories be interesting. Make new friends when your out and call them the next day seeing what their plans are. Its all about networking and maintaining relationships while creating new ones. Pretty soon you will be turning down offers to parties because your still worn out from last night or just dont want to go.

ketamarine · 2012-07-09T23:58:02+00:00

I recommend inviting people to do something fun, then doing something fun.

Title	How do I successfully invite/get invited (by)people to do something fun?
Author	Jewbot69
Upvotes	40
Comments	47
Date	July 9, 2012 7:21 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wa9xg/how_do_i_successfully_inviteget_invited_bypeople/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-successfully-inviteget-invited-bypeople.1335425 https://theredarchive.com/post/1335425

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