How to cross the touch barrier

Cookies993 · 2022-08-29T06:23:22+00:00

Go for a hug right from the start when you see them next time. Just an easy and natural way to both greet someone and break the touch-barrier.

If you want to be somewhat assertive, you can gently guide them by placing your hand on their lower back and lead them.

If you want to be somewhat cute, you can move hair away from their face.

If you want to be somewhat masculine, you can place your hand on their leg/knee/thigh when sitting and talking.

There’s also a ton of “excuses”, like measuring hands, checking out their tattoos, checking out any jewellery, or even as boldly as a massage.

It’s NOT as dangerous as it might feel. If you seem nervous when you do it, but they trust you, they will just think it’s cute. If you however are not shy at all and continue doing it after they’ve given hints that they don’t want to, then you would be labelled a creep.

letsgetrandy · 2022-08-29T05:23:34+00:00

Probably have a lawyer jump out of the closet with a consent form, and then ask an intimacy coach to come tell you where to put your hands on each other.

helpMeOut9999 · 2022-08-29T06:39:26+00:00

When I was young in the game I'd play with the wrinkles in their short or pants. Iike if there is a fold grab it and smooth it out... it will create another one, smooth that one out.

They kind of think it's cute you are sitting their trying to iron out the wrinkles, then once they are comfortable you just put your palm on leg or shoulder and start feeling them.

Then once comfortable pull them in close for the full fledged cuddle. You can eventually kiss them.

Puzzled_Nail_1962 · 2022-08-29T11:40:49+00:00

You kinda dug yourself in a bit already. Generally, things make you "creepy", when they don't fit to how you are perceived. That's why one guy can go around hugging and touching anyone without any problems and the other dude gets a knock from the police because he touched someone on the shoulder. I'm exaggerating.

The real answer is, be more touchy from the beginning. If that's your standard way of communicating, noone will mind. If you already know someone and always kept your distance, start very slowly. Greet them with a hug the next time you see them, that's it. Then do that every time. Now touch them lightly while talking about something. The key is, no drastic changes, but gradual ones.

Keep in mind what your intentions are. There's nothing creepy about giving a friend a hug or anyone really if you actually just want a hug. They might not know what you want, but you do, so if anyone thinks you're being creepy, that's their problem alone.

Thony311 · 2022-08-29T14:31:17+00:00

Times when i cross touch barrier:

Sidehug when you first meet

Touching tattoos (or where they want them)

Touching jewelry (start with hands or bracelets)

Asking for their hand when crossing the street or guiding through a crowd

Pulling/guiding her closer to you to hear in a loud environment (start with shoulder, then lower)

Grazing legs when sitting next to each other. If they move away, they aren’t comfortable yet. If your legs are touching, they are very comfortable.

Dancing in general

Touching hair, face or neck. Can be bc of jewelry, fixing hair or smudge etc (dont start with this, make sure they are very comfortable you first). Usually these touches can lead to a kiss which opens up pretty much anything else

If you cross the touch barrier, you can make some sexual conversation bc they are comfortable w you already. Nothing blatant or aggressive, enough to make it cross her mind. The tension comes when she know you want to fuck but you keep it mysterious.

So the fact that they are sleeping w you in your bed is probably getting them excited (unless they think you are gay or something). That shit doesnt happen with guys in the friendzone or guys they dont like

jayareelle195 · 2022-08-29T05:03:38+00:00

If they're sleeping over already and are close, they trust you. Push the limits of touch, rub her arm, graze against her and see what kinda body language you get back. If they scoot away it's friendzone, anything really else you can push a little farther. Obviously respectfully.

incognito3107 · 2022-08-29T07:31:18+00:00

Just do it very slowly and gradually. Get a little closer, gently touch her with the tip of your finger. She needs to react somehow on her part. (sleeping situation)

Overall, you should start with so called "friendly" touch, that indicates no commitment to sexual context. Get closer to her, pat her shoulder, "high five", take a dust from her clothes, jokingly push her aside, check her pulse etc. It's a game, you should take time and enjoy pushing your barriers gradually. And adjust to her reactions.

jquest303 · 2022-08-29T16:04:30+00:00

Next time you have a girl sleeping in your bed, ask her if she wants to cuddle. It’s innocent enough. I mean, who doesn’t love a good cuddle?

Delicious_Ad_1853 · 2022-08-30T02:28:48+00:00

DiCarlo Escalation Ladder is excellent as a general guideline.

Also, the touch barrier should be broken loooooong before anyone is getting tired.

kentchanted · 2022-08-29T14:42:04+00:00

how tf do you get to sleep with a girl and nothing happens ?!

Mauerstrassenheld · 2022-08-29T08:09:58+00:00

RemindMe! 3 day

atomant88 · 2022-08-29T12:12:03+00:00

ask for consent before you touch anyone

YellowCosmicWarrior · 2022-08-29T12:15:41+00:00

All what others have said. But do it intentionally. It's not like tapping her leg to exaggerate your point in the conversation. It is like putting your hand on ther lower back because you want you both to feel closer while you are saying something.

Corndesu69 · 2022-08-29T19:50:36+00:00

Are they really your friends? Don’t

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-08-30T17:20:44+00:00

A lot of people in this thread are just telling you to touch someone who hasn't invited/welcomed that touch. That's not good advice, in fact it can be deemed criminal in some places.

There are a lot of ways to offer/ask without risking an assault charge. For example if you're watching a movie together offer your hand, palm up in their line of sight. If they want to touch you, they'll take your hand. Similar scenario if you're walking through a zoo/botanical garden/park.

If you have someone over who is relaxing near you and they are on the bed close to you, tell them how kissable their mouth looks and ask/see if they want a kiss.

Tell them they smell good and ask how they would feel if you kissed them right now. Wait for their response.

Offer them a massage, offer to read their palm, tell them you'd like to spin them around by the hand on the dancefloor and see if they consent.

Be considerate about assuming things, they could be leaning forward to hear you better, not to kiss you.

Title	How to cross the touch barrier
Author	imightnot4
Upvotes	51
Comments	29
Date	August 29, 2022 5:00 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/x0g2do/how_to_cross_the_touch_barrier/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-cross-the-touch-barrier.1251028 https://theredarchive.com/post/1251028

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