Intelligence and Seduction- competing interests?

arkitip · 2012-04-17T01:48:50+00:00

As someone who thinks he's smart here's what I've been learning.

Don't talk fast.
Don't talk fast.
Don't condescend. Its so easy when you think you are smarter than everyone (probably b/c you are) to come off as condescending.
Don't correct people, ever. Odds are very good you do this all the freaking time. Better to let people be happy idiots than to make them feel dumb.
Don't offer advice unless asked, ever. Odds are also good you do this one all the time.
Don't try to solve anyone's problems, instead simply be consoling and attempt to relate to them by offering up similar stories of your own. If you can get them offering you advice and solving your problems they automatically like you better.
Don't give a rats ass about getting your own story in or one upping people with a better version of a story. When you feel you are right there is a tendency to want to always make sure you have your say or tell your amazing story that is better than what you just heard. Instead don't even care if you talk.
This was a big one for me, not very good at it yet. Stop trying to communicate what you are thinking.. Instead try to communicate what you are feeling. More precisely try to understand what the other person is feeling, then feel it yourself, then communicate back to them that you feel the same way.

climbsurfski · 2012-04-16T21:42:57+00:00

OP's post is probably going to sound blowhard for most people reading, but I can sympathize after a fashion.

I don't necessarily consider myself to possess "exceptionally high intelligence", but unless I'm forcing myself, I tend to speak very quickly and use a lot of SAT words. I sound like the Architect from The Matrix unless I watch it, and while it works wonders to dazzle people in job interviews, I don't think it helps me get girls.

Better to slow down, use smaller words, more deliberate intonation, and tons of eye contact. Not because girls are dumb and have shitty vocabularies, but because you don't want to be giving a dissertation whilst trying to bed someone, no matter how smart they are.

That said, I don't buy this bullshit that girls want dumb guys. I don't think they're targeting Stephen Hawking for ONS necessarily, but as long as you're not bragging, I still think it's better to come off as intelligent than as unintelligent.

SeekingAlpha · 2012-04-16T22:16:37+00:00

Nigga please, women love intelligence.

boss413 · 2012-04-17T00:14:23+00:00

When I started out I thought the same thing, but eventually I learned something about myself: I was being condescending, especially with my facial expressions. I can tell you from both personal and vicarious experience that smart guys can pick up a much wider range of women than average or dumb guys.

That being said, I improved dramatically when I started to use empathy and mirroring. Mirroring is straightforward, try to communicate only a little more energy than the set (esp. body language), and don't speak over anyone's head. Empathy is a difficult skill, but never make people uncomfortable about their intelligence (Dale Carnegie's rule: never insult taste or intelligence), and learn to read emotions like boredom and discomfort.

southsidehoodrat · 2012-04-17T00:26:57+00:00

I study engineering in school, so I'm familiar with 'engineer attitude'. A lot of engineers feel the need to prove they're smarter than everybody, and tend to either talk down to people or jump on people for doing things like calculating tip wrong, making a silly mistake etc. People, and in my experience especially girls, HATE being talked down to. Also, if you're talking down to people, the girls that will hate that the most are the smart ones, so you may even be selecting the less intelligent ones by accident.

There are smart people everywhere. They work in all fields, and may have different talents than you. They occasionally go out and have a good time an don't try to be smart. Anybody you meet could be a hell of a lot smarter than you.

Edit: I just realized that sounded a lot harsher than I wanted it to. It's easy to accidentally be talking down to people. Try to picture what you seem like to other people and you might surprise yourself. Give up on the idea that you are/desire to be smarter than everybody in the room. Trust me.

tinyroom · 2012-04-17T00:11:15+00:00

I'm going to give an extreme example: Sharon Stone.

Super intelligent and super hot.

If you think intelligence and seduction are competing interests, then you are not that intelligent.

Maybe it's not your intelligence that's a turn off, but your arrogance.

ecmmyers · 2012-04-16T23:31:23+00:00

It's hard to make a judgement with the lack of information. Give an example. It's not that women dislike intelligence. You're either meeting the wrong women, or your game is off.

I've talked about my expert +5/+5/+5 leveling scheme on Morrowind with girls with success. So... yeah.

PLplotsOTS · 2012-04-16T23:34:35+00:00

Going off the limited information here, I would guess that your problem is not due to your intelligence alone. It's how you present your intelligence that makes a difference.

Could you elaborate on your style style of speech? I'd imagine your delivery is direct, articulate, and rapid, like a well-aimed assault rifle.

AngriestBird · 2012-04-17T00:35:56+00:00

There was an article I read about this a long time ago. I can't find it anymore. But the idea behind the article was that it is not always accepted that communicating quickly = smarter.

The answer is simple: slow down.

iLikeE · 2012-04-17T04:15:44+00:00

I have had this problem before, but the best thing to do for people with high intelligence is too also be well versed in social and media topics. That way you can connect with the girl on a number of different levels.

aurasprw · 2012-04-17T05:31:24+00:00

Preface: These are not excuses, these are obstacles to be overcome.

I feel like my intelligence gets in the way for a few reasons: 1. I've spent a lot of my life in a situation where I have a natural advantage (the classroom). Entering a situation where I don't (club/bar) is discomforting and a natural blow to my ego.

I tend to analyze and attempt to solve systems. This can be bad in social situations where subjectivity is king and most information is hidden.
I'm used to solving problems through thinking. However, lots of game in the beginning requires sheer willpower, which is not something I have developed myself at.

totalradass · 2012-04-17T06:51:22+00:00

Intelligence is like beauty, people appreciate it most when it's effortless, and without any sense of consciousness of its self.

Suz73 · 2012-04-17T13:15:56+00:00

It's not intelligence that is a turn off to women. It is the bragging and arrogance that is a turn off. Listening to how amazing you are all night is boring. We can tell if youre amazing pretty quickly through your observations and quick wit. A woman also wants to feel intelligent so don't be condesening.

2012-04-17T00:39:50+00:00

There's nothing that high intellect can do to hurt your game unless you allow it to. Actually, high intellect should speed up the process of learning game. How smart could you be if you can't figure this shit out after all?

Do you speak to people as if you are a condescending prick who thinks much more of himself than those around him? Then yeah, you're going to piss people off. Judging from your post this is exactly what you probably do.

My advice is to get over it, the quicker you realize that there are a lot of intelligent people out there the better (And trust me there is no shortage of them if you simply take the time to understand people). Look for the good in people, life doesn't revolve around your IQ or your ability to solve a rubix cube.

TheGameGenie · 2012-04-17T00:58:46+00:00

I can sympathize, 28, it gets better. You learn to slow down and savor and explore different things.

After all this forced education you are forced to be a robotic slave thing, not a person.

Now I try to connect my brain to humanity in a less judgemental way...at least when I am in a chipper mood!

That being said, I could stand getting a lot more ass. Do you have the problem where you feel the need to solve people's problems? Be a therapist? I moved past that but I still to this day am improving on taking what's mine and being comfortable with that.

lieutenantslothrop · 2012-04-17T03:29:46+00:00

It's not what you say, but how you say it. Obviously, adjust for a person's intelligence, but try to make your strongest assets for you, not against you. My IQ is very high, but I find ways to incorporate it into my approach without alienating people. Intelligence can often be the backbone of a sharp wit, so utilize that if you can for C&F. Also, you can and should build higher value with it.

theninetyninthstraw · 2012-04-17T14:10:09+00:00

You can be smart and still seduce. I have my best times when I imagine myself as Hon Solo. Women fucking love it when paired with all the kino escalation tips.

N8TANIEL · 2012-04-17T15:40:26+00:00

http://theamericanscholar.org/the-disadvantages-of-an-elite-education/

Intelligence and Seduction- competing interests?

Comments

7 agreed 100%.

Title	Intelligence and Seduction- competing interests?
Author	climbsurfski
Upvotes	21
Comments	32
Date	April 16, 2012 9:23 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/sd1fd/intelligence_and_seduction_competing_interests/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/intelligence-and-seduction-competing-interests.1331396 https://theredarchive.com/post/1331396