Is cold approach worth it as an average looking guy?

Mandemz- · 2026-05-24T12:00:25+00:00

Yeah my boy is chopped and a lil autistic but has been cold approaching for years and has gotten good over the years, truly inspiring. Im more of a black pilled dude but realized it doesnt mean sht if you arent a good talker. Going to start cold approaching with him soon once i get some balls fr

jsbach123 · 2026-05-24T11:44:12+00:00

With your specs, it's actually better to cold approach than to use dating apps. In our unfair world, a lot of women will use the app's filter to filter you out because of your height/weight.

The great thing about cold approach is, first you know if she's attractive. Second, you can rely on your charm right away. The only bad thing is, you don't know if she's looking. At least on an app, you know she's looking.

Still, cold approach is better than dating apps for everybody but I think particular for you.

PrinceDestin · 2026-05-24T13:05:38+00:00

Bro wtf you think people were doing all this time for decades

Think average men just fucked off and hoped they got a wife or a lil side boo?

Foreverseeking47 · 2026-05-24T12:07:57+00:00

Aa far as your appearance goes you should just take basic care of yourself because you value yourself. Hit the gym or play some sports you enjoy, eat well and sleep well. Do all these to make yourself feel good that's it, not because you think it will bring you the life you want with women because you'll be chasing your tail forever.

I'm not gonna give you practical tips on how to approach because you're a human and you'll need someone to tell what to do in every step of the way if all you're looking for is a step by step manual.

Tall handsome guys have an immediate advantage with random women for sure but that's mostly because they have a way of initially showing that thet MIGHT have value because as a society we are conditioned to put value on those things. Not going to lie, yes these things signal good genes to women but so does showing behavioral cues that you are a man that can handle himself and is relaxed in his environment. Nothing is actually preventing you from approaching a woman feeling good and making her feel good by being present, witty, charismatic and sure of yourself when you're talking; you just have to get put of your own way and that can't happen if you always have in the back your mind that you would do better if you were taller or more handsome.

You have one life, that's it, then it's done. Nothing is going to give you your time back. Your 20s, 30s, 40s, everything is just gonna pass and you won't get it back so you better use that time resourcefully and in a way that makes you feel good no matter what. It's also just showing your primal brain that you are safe, it's 2026, you're not gonna die because of a social misstep with a random person. Your nervous system is expecting rejection from the tribe which eventually led to death for most of human history; this is not going to happen ever; it's just a matter of getting your unconscious mind and your mind to understand that the adrenaline you feel when about to do something unusual is not a signal to cower but instead to embrace and grow. Hope that helps.

karl_ae · 2026-05-24T12:56:33+00:00

Lots of things can be said here. So I'll list a few of the most fundamental principles.

First, get off the social media and youtube. 99% of the content creators are there to market their products. You need to get out and build experience yourself. Everybody is living in a differnent environment, are in different conditions. Even for the same person, circumstances will change and he needs to adapt to changes. So build your own reality by getting lots of feedback by doing the actual work, not reading/watching other people stories

Height and weight surely changes your chances. But being taller than your current stat wont increase your chances from 10% to 90%. It will increase your chances from 4% to 5%. Accept the fact that you will fail a lot, i mean a lot. But this doesn't mean that you should take care of your looks. You don't have to overdo it. Wear a nice shirt, fitting jeans and nice shoes. Put on a nice watch. All combined should be less than 100 GBP.

From there on, focus on the basics. Be respectful, hold eye contact, say hi, when she greets you back, say something about the environment, about the situation and let the conversation roll. If it dies, nod and move onto the next experiment.

If you make it a habit, enjoy the process, you'll build up experience and with each feedback you'll get better. This is not a sprint. It's a marathon.

letoiv · 2026-05-24T13:44:19+00:00

Game matters more than looks in cold approach. The guy with looks will get better initial responses, but the guy with game will take more women home.

Do you have game? If you say you're not very confident, I'm guessing the answer is probably no. So now you know what you need to work on.

Btw these two things intersect at the subject of style. If your style is "normal," that means it sucks. Improve it and both your game and your looks will get better.

A1Horizon · 2026-05-24T11:49:18+00:00

Yeah, there’s no real consequence for failure and it might work, so why not

Pristineonk · 2026-05-24T13:15:57+00:00

i've very blackpilled because i've seen first hand through meeting people from the PUA community, the difference between how cold approach works for good looking guys vs ugly guys (in fact, my good looking friends don't even approach. They don't need too. They get appraoched lol)

However, even I would say to still do it. Why? Because in life 'anything can happen'. I've never in my life seen an ugly guy get loads of play with hot girls from cold approach, although I have seen some who at least from time to time, hook up with hot girls despite not being good looking. I guess tyler from rsd is an exmple of this. People like to cap that he's some pimp who uses his amazing 'game' to to hook up with tonnes of hot girls, but in realty, he gets rejected a LOT! A huge percentage of the time. But he keeps going and from time to time, bags a hot one.

One needs to ask yourself whether the payoff is worth it, which is personal to each person

If someone is short and ugly and old for example, and he's only approaching super hot 18 year olds for example, he could have the best 'game' on planet earth, and he will 100% get rejected almost non stop.

But if you arne't good looking and put in some serious volume, there's good chance that on at least one or two occasions, you will surprise yourself and some hot girl who you think is way out of your league happens to think you are hot too and you hook up with her. It's actually happened to me a few times

Rozenheg · 2026-05-24T12:43:47+00:00

Meeting through social circle is indeed most reliable for most people. If your social circle doesn’t include women, try to expand it or pick up a hobby that has a better mix of people.

Puzzleheaded_Gain493 · 2026-05-24T13:37:26+00:00

If you’re in the west esp UK, it’s a waste of time even if you’re tall handsome jacked with perfect social and flirting etc especially if you’re after the top tier ones like 8/10

Most people naturally prefer to meet people through social circle , mutuals , it’s always been like that. Might cold approach in the street work, yes but you’ll have to run insane numbers just to get a number, which usually flakes. The majority especially the boujee ones want to check your instagram first, if no lifestyle on show then forget especially if you’re approaching in London. If you’re going to do it, do it with no expectations and don’t leave your house to specifically do it

trdcr · 2026-05-24T13:50:33+00:00

It’s always worth it but start with something very small and put zero expectations to it. Start with little compliments and convos that you set to last like 10 seconds. Then slowly expand.

duke_awapuhi · 2026-05-24T16:42:29+00:00

It’s always worth it. You never lose anything from doing it

Head-String-6223 · 2026-05-24T11:44:22+00:00

Hit the gym

Independent-Bad218 · 2026-05-24T13:47:51+00:00

I was once into the red light district in an Asian country. And 80% of the prostitutes flat out rejected me without even looking me twice. No joke. This is how far looks personally take me.

Compare it with cold approach and you get this.

water_reducer · 2026-05-24T13:49:51+00:00

cold approach will only ever be worth it for guys who live in major cities with a lot of people in it. ny, la, miami, vegas, london, etc. it’s not worth it at all if you’re in a city with 140k people. you’ll either need to move or figure out something else. otherwise, if there’s a lot of people, especially tourists, in your city then sure why not, go for it and see how that works lol. even in a major city if you’re going to do cold approach if you’re smart enough you’ll see what it is and what it isn’t, you’ll get the general sense that something is wrong about cold approach in general and if you’ve got the wits you’ll put it together. but, tbh ive never seen anyone else on these forums ever put it together. ir’s actually shocking how clueless people are about attraction.

Title	Is cold approach worth it as an average looking guy?
Author	DescriptionFuture851
Upvotes	16
Comments	33
Date	May 24, 2026 11:40 AM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1tm9u29/is_cold_approach_worth_it_as_an_average_looking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-cold-approach-worth-it-as-an-average-looking.1581113 https://theredarchive.com/post/1581113

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