Just had my first OLD date

Back2theCouture · 2026-08-12T11:35:11+00:00

Sometimes it’s just like that. At this point there’s no way of knowing. If I were you I would let her go if she decides to do so.

I keep telling guys a tale of 2 stores. 1 store barely has customers so when the storeowner has a customer walking in, he tries so hard to make sure she doesn’t leave without buying anything.

The 2nd store is crowded with lots of customers. Some people who planned to visit the 2nd store change their mind when they see it’s full. The owner saw that happening before his eyes, they walked in then turned around and walked out. But he doesn’t care because he’s busy dealing with other customers.

You know which one you wanna be like.

Wolfang_von_Caelid · 2026-08-12T15:35:57+00:00

Totally normal, even expected.

I had a tinder date the other week where we drank a bottle of wine in a very nice park by my place; went to my place after, drank another glass then made out for 15 minutes. After the date, texting on-and-off, and she tells me that the date felt too "platonic." Again, we made out pretty hard for 15 minutes, calling it platonic is hilarious.

I think sometimes girls just invent a reason when they don't know why they don't want to continue with a guy, it is what it is.

Sandvicheater · 2026-08-12T16:07:15+00:00

You went too strong with a kiss on a 1st date.

Remarkable_Outside67 · 2026-08-12T13:18:07+00:00

Bro, the exact same thing happened to me a few days ago.

I've been on quite a few dates this year, and sometimes within 20 minutes we're already kissing, or things get more intimate later on. But what happened with this last girl honestly threw me off.

It went pretty much like you said—touching, affection, getting close, etc.—but when it came time to say goodbye, she avoided the kiss.

It actually made me rethink something: a date doesn't have to end with a kiss. You can just say goodbye and leave it at that.

The problem is when you get that thought in your head like, "Alright bro, time to seal the deal." 😂

Honestly, that's dumb.

We don't know what's going on from her side. Maybe she just got out of a relationship, maybe she's scared of getting attached, maybe she's dealing with something else entirely.

It might sound like we're just making excuses so we don't feel bad about rejection, but I'd rather think that way than ever try to force something.

If she doesn't want the kiss, that's it. Say goodbye and keep it moving.

JaraCimrman · 2026-08-12T12:59:44+00:00

It do be like that sometimes. Be glad for the experience and move on

plz_callme_swarley · 2026-08-12T15:31:55+00:00

ya, she didn't like you. nothing you can do about it other than read body language and cut your losses early.

if you're on a date with a girl and she's got her arms crossed, isn't leaning into you, when you hold her hand it's stiff and lifeless than just end the date. no reason to spend time with someone who's not open to connection

Orange_Codex · 2026-08-12T12:05:10+00:00

It'll be the 'kino.' I know coaches say you've got to be constantly poking and prodding, to frog-boil people into sex, but if it's one-sided it will not end well. Especially if you aren't even trying to invite them over. Then it's dumb and pointless. "Hey love fancy popping out for five hours so I can brush you like a war-grave?"

autodidacticasaurus · 2026-08-12T13:59:11+00:00

It's too much of a gap to go from no touching to kissing. Open the date with a hug. Guide her very gently once in a while with your hand in the small of her back. Hold hands.

So, where you really messed up was not saying that observation outloud. "So... What's up with the crossed arms? Are you secretly mad at me and only pretending to laugh at my jokes?" Make it sound like a tease, not a serious question. Make it more absurd if neccessary. "What's up with the crossed arms, bracing for bear attacks? I think we're safe in this park." or whatever. Think of some shit. You were in your head instead if connecting honestly with her.

stick_it_in_your_bum · 2026-08-12T14:49:59+00:00

You have to make kino fun and not forced. Did your physical touch have intention behind it and was it appropriate given the current context of the date? Example: you’re crossing the street with your date. It’s appropriate to hold her hand. Oh are you cold? Let me warm your hands up after she shivers etc etc

Making it fun could be doing palm reading, comparing hand sizes, taking a look at her jewelry closer and complimenting her choices and why you like them so on and so forth.

Matter_Still · 2026-08-12T19:56:50+00:00

From my vantage point, you made a few mistakes commonly made by guys who believe every woman is hardwired the same way: you applied a cookie-cutter approach to the girl. That is, it didn’t matter whether it was this girl or 50 others, you used the same by-the-numbers strategy: it seems as if you were running a checklist to fire up a computer in safe mode. At some point, touch her here, then there, and proceed to the next body part. That, in my opinion, is the fatal flaw of every pickup strategy, no matter whose you apply: it employs “vending machine theory”: you put something in—coins or a dollar—and it spits out what you want, if you hit the right keys in the right order. But as you discovered, it doesn’t always (or even in the overwhelming majority of circumstances) work so predictably . You played by the book and expected a Reese’s Cups, she gave you trail mix.

Then, too—and this is unfortunately, epidemic—you most likely overemphasized the importance of eye contact. If you’ve ever been pulled over by a female police officer, her eyes lock on to yours, and she’s not signaling desire.

It’s the same with a woman laughing at your jokes and hanging on every word you say. They may be “indicators of interest” but interest of what?

So, what’s the answer? Maybe, it’s what Zen masters call “beginner’s mind”— dropping expectations and preconceived ideas about something, and seeing things with an open mind, just like a beginner. You don’t take anything for granted.

This prevents a person looking at a situation, or in the case of meeting a woman for the first time, seeing her without a mind clouded by prejudgments, preconceptions, or fantasies.

Practicing “beginner’s mind” is not easy; we’re all loaded with preconceived ideas that cling to us like barnacles on ships, but it can be liberating to start out thinking that the new job, city, or girl may be totally unlike any other I’ve ever had.

carbon895 · 2026-08-13T02:44:57+00:00

I’d say go for the kiss on the first date if the vibe is flirty/touchy but but don’t for the kiss on the first date if the vibe is more getting to know each over

From what you described it seemed more like the latter than the former

ControlGood8979 · 2026-08-12T11:52:35+00:00

You're too performative that's the problem with all the PUA stuff it's too regimented.

Title	Just had my first OLD date
Author	No-Forever-7283
Upvotes	23
Comments	54
Date	August 12, 2026 11:09 AM UTC (1 day ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1vmb3ob/just_had_my_first_old_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/just-had-my-first-old-date.1632774 https://theredarchive.com/post/1632774

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